being unsure about sleepover

[dottygirl1]

We have recently moved and dont know anyone here at all. No family or friends etc. My DC's started their new school in September. My DD who is 7 is getting on well and has made a few friends.

She came home from school today excited and said x's mother was going to speak to me about her going to their house for a sleepover. This is a child she has spoken about before but has no contact with her outside of school. I have never spoken to x's mother, dont know where they live etc. 2 other girls from the class are being invited too but again I dont know them.

Unsure of what to do..

She is excited and seems to be getting on well-why would you want to hamper her friendships?

I agree. My kids are a bit younger, but ds1 who is 6 can get unsettled just staying at his grandparents - while I'm there!! It probably depends a bit on the child as well. My ds1 is very sensitive and emotional. I think he'd have to know the house/ parents quite well. He has a couple of friends where he's been on lots of playdates so he really knows the families (as do I as they have been in school for 3 years together). Ds2 is a little bit more robust. He's the type to express himself well, and confident. If he's thirsty he'd say so. Ds1 would just wait to be asked!!!

I do not want to hamper her friendships. She is outgoing and would love to go because as a 7 year old she can only see the positive fun side to the night. Part of my problem is that she hasnt ever played with this little girl or had any contact outside of their school day. She has mentioned her but does not talk about her in the way she would talk about closer friends.

I will encourage her friendship by arranging play days and other activities outside of school and then if they enjoy each others company (and I get to meet and know her mother/family) then we can consider a sleepover.

Sounds a good plan.

It depends on the child in my opinion, not th host family- ax murderers or whit slqvers excepted. Dd struggled with sleeep overs until she was 14 and even now at 16 likesnthemmin theory much more than in practice. Ds would hqve stayed with the child catcher from about 3. So if she wants to go, let her. The worst that can happen is that you get a phone call at midnight asking you to come and get her.

It would be the DC who would worry me and not the host family-I really don't know what people imagine they are going to do with four 7yr olds! My DS1 and DS3 loved it, DS2 didn't. If you have sensible DCs I would leave it to them-mine chose very nice friends.
However there is time to do some mixing first.

God I'm impressed by anyone who, like your daughter, is good at constructing a social life for themselves. Don't just let her go, encourage it.

These should I shouldn't I threads always intrigue me - as if there is some obligation on the part of the OP to accept and if she doesn't she's all sorts of wrong. Dotty - if your child came home and said so and so's mum wants to drive your car on Friday night - would you give it to her? No? But you think you would hand over your 7 year old child? Get to know people first, just say thanks that's a lovely idea but so far I've never done a sleepover so can I invite you and/or your DCs to lunch? and take it from there.

Hi OP - my DD1 has gone on her first (non family) sleepover tonight. She is 9.5, and is friendly with her friend for 3 years, I've met both parents many times, as has DD1. I am confident she will have a lovely experience tonight.

I think 7 is very young, especially if your DD is not already familiar with the parents involved. I think it helps big-time for the visiting child to be comfortable beforehand with the parents in charge.

I am thinking of how I could feel at midnight of a sleepover, if either I or DD1 did not already feel very comfortable with the other parents. Now, I'm saying I bet she is having a ball, probably still awake whispering.. But confident that she is happy.