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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to suggest that age-related films should be based on the school year of the child not actual age?

32 replies

Pebbleonabeach1 · 04/01/2012 15:07

My DD is August child. All her life she has been expected to do what children up to 11 months older than her are doing with no allowance for her younger age (start school, sports competitions, tests, SATs, focus days at school, PHSE sessions, school trip) so why on earth is it deemed that she cannot go into a 12A film with her already 12 year old class mates without me being present? I realise this is the law but am I alone in thinking this is unfair.

And yes I realise now IWBU to have 2 August born children!!

OP posts:
cory · 04/01/2012 15:13

Surely schools have no say over film restrictions and this law is nothing to do with expectations at school. Would you also expect her to come of age at the start of her second college year just because some of her friends do? Or have sex legally at 15+ because some of her friends will then be 16?

exexpat · 04/01/2012 15:28

I'm afraid YABU, though I understand your frustration. I also have an August-born DS, and I was moved up a year at school so I was often 18 months younger than everyone in my class.

But - there has to be some kind of cut-off date, and it is much easier to check someone's age than to check what school year they are in.

And it's only an issue for a few months of the years that they turn 12/15/18 (it's not as if everyone else's birthday is in September, and theirs is the only one in August - their classmates' birthdays will be scattered throughout the year), and it won't kill them not to see a 12/15 rated film with their friends.

kitkat1967 · 04/01/2012 15:55

yes - it's a pain. I have an August born DD - has to keep up at school but could not go on Brownie/Guide camp with the rest of her year group as the cut off date was 31st July. WTF - she was the only girl in her year left out - why they couldn't have set the cut off as end of August I do not know.

Also a pain in summer holiday clubs as they go on actual age - we have to be very careful what we use some years or she gets put in a different group to her peers!!

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 04/01/2012 16:00

YABU - there has to be a cut off somewhere. I have a late August born DS too!

Grandhighpoohba · 04/01/2012 16:06

YABU

a) School years are not consistent across the UK
b) How do you prove what year at school you are in?
c) It will not harm your DC to have to wait until she is legally able to go - she needs to learn that life isn't always fair, that sometimes we have to wait for what we want, and that sometimes there are rules which we don't like, but that we have to follow.

AngryMotherF · 04/01/2012 16:09

I agree with you, having two August borns myself, but I don't see now else they could do it.

I thought it was just a guideline anyway when it came to films? Do they check childrens ID now?

Avantia · 04/01/2012 16:13

is this a school trip that's being organised and the school are saying that you must go ? Confused

If she wants to go with her friends to see a 12A film - then really the only one that's stopping her and making it an issue is you.

I dont't think they check childrens ages at cinemas do they ?

If she wants to go with her friends let her if you think the film is suitable for her to see.

Didn't anyone here sneak into the cinema to see film underage ?

Avantia · 04/01/2012 16:14

YABU - and I also have an August born DS Grin

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/01/2012 16:14

If you follow this logic, then your dd should also be allowed to start driving when the oldest child in her year turns 17, and she'd be only just 16 - and you can see how silly that would be, surely?

As others have said, there has to be a cut-off somewhere, date of birth is by far the easiest way of doing it, and it doesn't harm children to have to wait until they are legally entitled to do something.

And I say this as the mother of an august-born child, and two spring-born children (two years apart in age). Ever since the younger ones were old enough to realise that their elder brother/s could do things that they couldn't, I've had to contend with the 'it's not fair' argument - which is, frankly, what is at the root of the OP - and my boys have had to wait until they have been old enough to do whatever it was. And they have survived just fine - if a bit sulky from time to time.

mumeeee · 04/01/2012 16:18

YABU. Not everyone is 12.15 or 18 at the same time. So it happens to all children at some point. DD2's birthday is in April so by the time she was 18 most of her friends were already 18.

mumeeee · 04/01/2012 16:20

It is actually the law that an Adult has to
go with a child under 12 to 12A films. Also some cinemas do check a child's age.

sheepgomeep · 04/01/2012 16:22

yabu

And I have an august born dd myself. And two mayborns as well

mrsjay · 04/01/2012 16:23

I have it the other way round in scotland its the winter babies who are the youngest dd2 is 1 of the youngest in her year she is a february birthday so I do see why its fustrating she is expected to keep up with everybody else have lessons that could be to old for her , she couldnt go to see 12 films with her friends etc , I dont think the certificates should be changed though ,

NettoHoHoHoSuperstar · 04/01/2012 16:23

Move to Scotland!
DD is 28th August but it's not a problem here.

babybythesea · 04/01/2012 16:24

I had a late-born August friend. She used to counter it by saying that when we all moaned because we had hit our thirties/forties etc, she could be smug about being in the decade below us.

Acandlelitshadow · 04/01/2012 16:31

YABU. I have a summer born DS who has had to sit back and watch his September born contemporaries reach age related milestones (currently driving age) for years and who will continue to do so as they hit 18 nearly a year ahead of him. He just accepts it as part of life even if the word "unfair" does get muttered from time to time Grin. If you start frigging with film classifications because they're "unfair", where do you draw the line?

sashh · 05/01/2012 08:26

Is it fair if in 6 years time the same group commit a crime as a group, the older ones go to prison but your daughter doesn't because she is a child?

I am not for one minute suggesting that will happen just that sometimes it is better to be born at one end of the year and not the other.

Your daughter will never sit an exam on her birthday, or sit one the day after her 18th and therefore not be able to have a party on the day.

She will never have anyone say to her "I just got you one present for your birthday and Xmas, but it is a bigger present".

And if the same group go to Alton Towers your daughter pays about £10, the others in the group pay about £20, is that fair?

bruffin · 05/01/2012 08:43

Just look at it another way. I have two september borns, my DS has just turned 16.
Even though he is full time school and can't legally leave, he has to pay full adult fares to get to school, go to the cinema etc as he doesn't qualify for student discounts because he is not in 6th form.

PoultryInMotion · 05/01/2012 08:47

Sorry, I agree with the rest! I'm summer born and some of my school friends had already passed their driving test by the time I was allowed to start learning. I also wasn't able to go to the pub when they were 18 and I wasn't I didn't go anyway in heels and lots of slap no siree bob

blueemerald · 05/01/2012 08:53

My birthday is the 31st of August so I was always the youngest in my year however age restrictions can be ignored if the film is being watched for educational purposes (at school at least) and at the cinema I don't think they will check (unless she looks really young for her age- I looked roughly 3-4 years younger than my real age until I was about 20 {I'm 25 and still get ID'd every single time I buy alcohol} and I was only ID'd once at a cinema when I was 15).

Could you buy her ticket at the cinema and the leave? The ticket ripper will assume it's fine.
I do agree with you that late summer babies have a lot of disadvantages so something should be done to level the playing field. I turned 16/17/18 after getting my GCSE/AS/A level results!

Trills · 05/01/2012 08:57

YABU.

"School year" is not a consistent measure. Age is.

tyler80 · 05/01/2012 09:05

Is it still the case that August born children get fewer years of child benefit assuming they do a-levels and go to university?

4madboys · 05/01/2012 09:10

i thought you can claim child benefit until a child is 18 and in full time education, so assuming the go to uni the sept after they turn 18 you will still get the child benefit up until their 18th bday if they stay at school? no idea but i will find out with ds1 who is aug born!

TotemPole · 05/01/2012 09:11

Do they check ID for 12As?

tyler80 · 05/01/2012 09:28

But with a September birthday you get child benefit the whole year they're 18 if in full time education. Child benefit would be stopped just before they turned 19. At least that's how it used to work