Two failed marriages...new surname required???

[LadyEatsCrispsALot]

So I married at 22 which lasted a year, but I took his surname and kept it until my second marriage at 33. We are now separating. I am 40.
I am just wondering if to keep second surname as it is the same as my darling 2 DCs? Even though marriage is over.
I don't want to revert to my maiden name as there are too many bad memories of my childhood associated with it.
Or just choose a completely new surname. Kind of reinventing myself?

What do you want to do?

Personally I like having the same surname as my kids, although I have a different surname to my eldest. However, I kept it right up until I married again.

How would your children feel, do you think, it is part of their identity. They may take it that you wished the marriage never happened (when they are older, if they are young).

Tbh i think that it would be strange to choose a random surname.

Hmmm I have a friend who chose a random surname to dissociate from childhood so possibly I am reflecting on that. Quite happy with second surname but...do you l know what...I really don't know what....grrrr

I happily took my DH surname when i got married because of my childhood. If i hadn't of been getting married i probably would have changed my name as i wanted no association with my father, so i know where you are coming from.

I would give yourself time. There are possitives conected to your surname, now. Re-inventing yourself will happen over time. I wouldn't change anything , for now.

Thanks Birds. It's all a bit raw at the moment re separation. And it is fairly amicable thank goodness. Maybe just see how it pans out. :)

It is100% up to you. Your name is yours, not your ex's so you have the perfect right not to change it. Or change it to a spanking new name that you love :)

OK you don't want your birth family name but why wouldn't you want to keep the same surname as your kids?

Married at 33 divorced at 40 so they are presumably 7 and under- not big enough to understand why you want to cut free from their dad, but plenty old enough to be hurt now or in the future that you don't share their surname (and Ex does...).