AIBU to ban tv for my dds (age 2 and 4)?

[silkcushion]

Something snapped last Friday. It may have been seeing cbeebies panto for the 100th time or the realisation that they can both impersonate Dora, Diego and Swiper the bloody fox perfectly.

I haven't let them watch TV since then and the howling protests have confirmed it may well have been the right decision.

I am also hoping it may help my dd2 get back into her previously good sleep pattern. She's been waking between 3.30m and 4am for 6 weeks now and it's killing me. She doesn't get out of bed or cry but lies there singing loudly or reenacting episodes of Go Diego Go with her teddies. Sounds sweet but is actually exhausting night after night. It typically ends with her falling back to sleep just as we have to get up!

My girls are in full time nursery Mon-Fri - would you relent and let them have any TV at the weekend?

Just fab PLEASED!

KRUSTY - we don't switch on the TV much (well only for 3 hours a week) and spend our time doing lots of other stuff - reading, jigsaws, painting, play-doh, meeting with friends, paddling in steams, popping ot the park, play groups, playing imaginative games, swimming, looking after and collecting other siblings, cooking and cleaning together, food shopping, going for walks, visiting cafes and galleries.

great roald dahl poem!

My Dt's didn't see TV until they where 2 1/2 basically on my days off I had a habit of listening to R4, and being a later mum. I had, had to endure too many visits to friends which where with the TV on and Children Zombie like in front of it, used to drive me mental (although I liked the Zombie children), I was brought up to switch the TV off when company arrives, and even in my 20's visiting friends without them having children I hated it! don't get me wrong the minute 7pm comes I slob out with the best of them but during the day not interested.
the boys nursery didn't have a TV either so completely void of this distraction, when they where 21/2 I decided I was BVU as they would soon have other children talking about stuff on TV and they wouldn't have a clue, so I started them on Tellytubbies which I personally think is an A1 childrens program all the repeating, but fucking trauma for me, they went into melt down..too loud, too everything they left the room one crying, I gave up, a few week later my DH brought Napolian dynamite, and really wanted to watch it, my boys where transfixed, it is very slow paced.
So I you tubed trumpton, flumps, camberwick green, they are sooooo slow compared to todays TV they soon got the plot we worked up to Chorlton and the wheelies, Jamie and the majic torch, and then they could cope with childrens TV a hour or so a day.
British CHildrens TV is so much better than US children's TV which we had tp endure for 3 years, I regret making them miss UK TV when they got the dross we had in the US, that Said Phinius and Ferb....class!

Sorry, load of waffle!

Hooray - not Hamburg.

Cbeebies - not scabies.

Fucking fucking auto-correct - yes.

Glad to clear that up.

Ban it. Stick with it. Choose REAL life !

My eldest (12) lived with the ex until last year in a house with no TV, computer or video games. He's amazingly well read, confident, socially able, happy in his own company, mature and creative. This from years of reading, making, talking, cycling, walking, music, plasticine, origami etc etc etc... He's not "bookish" or a spod - he's just a great kid who knows what real life is.
The other two (7 and 5) who have grown up with me and the TV are difficult, impatient, have no empathy but know five words in Spanglish (thanks Dora) are using lots of nasty Americanisms and Australian Questioning Inflection.

The eldest, having been at bog standard state primary recently sailed into a VERY competitive selective Grammar school, the other two (at expensive prep school) aren't struggling exactly but are certainly not on track for academic brilliance.

I'm getting rid of the TV as a new years resolution (literally getting rid - down to the charity shop) and bringing on books, painting, making stuff, origami, plasticine, cooking and generally re-inventing a 1960's childhood that includes the REAL WORLD a lot more than a flat screen version of something that will never exist.

The whole "third parent" thing is a vile nonsense. If I haven't got time to sit and talk, make a paper boat, colour in a spelling book or shake a maraca then what exactly is it that I'm doing instead that's SO important ?

Plus save £145 a year on the license, a fortune on the Virgin media crap and your kids will have to IMAGINE what they'd like for Christmas, what they'd like to look like (instead of what they SHOULD look like) and they will never, ever get the real joy of Peter Pan or Pinnochio from Spielberg (Or the sainted CBeeBies).

I let DS watch some, but only what I can get on our laptop so no commercials. Which is nice.

Also since he doesn't get to watch much he will sit still and be very interested in nature shows and documentaries, etc. Most younger kids won't, it seems, because they're used to a cartoon shrieking and jumping around every few seconds.

Watch with mother and the woodentops didn't harm me when i was a young un.

We disconnected our tv but still have DVDs. Not allowed any before 9 (it was far too distracting when trying to get DD ready!) and none between 5.30ish and bedtime.

I still feel like they watch too much, but DH is the SAHP now, and can't take DS out very easily (injury).

YANBU. I think too much tv does have an effect on behaviour.

Can you get DVDs of their favourite shows or record them? We allow half an hour a day and DS1 can pick what he wants from the DVDs we have. We don't watch CBBC's as it's hard to put off once it goes on. Also, nothing allowed on in the morning.

Be strong Silkcushion. Every battle you have now will save an awful lot later on and your children are the perfect age to accept it as 'normal'.

For us the tv never goes on until it is 'getting dark' at the earliest. Then it's an hour of iplayer max.
Friday's is dvd film night or some sort of documentary for all the family. Over Christmas we watched the Horrible Histories Prom and the Royal Institute Lectures, DD (aged 6) requested those.

I value watching great tv as a family that is very different to the constant drone in the background.

Sometimes my kids say they don't know what to do, then they wander off and you later find them making a den with blankets and cushions or lining up all the cars.

I have banned TV and computer games etc during the week. My DCs are school age, so they don't have that much time for TV in the week anyway, as other activities a few nights a week, but it has made such a difference.

They talk to me! They play together, DS1 reads!! but the main difference is in the behaviour, they are just far better behaved and so much less aggressive. At weekends I try to limit it to 2 hours per day, but if I'm lazy and let them have longer, the behaviour always goes to pot.

They didn't like me for it a first, but I think even they would have to admit life has improved as a result.

Like Avaiatrix, at 4 & 2 mine were watching 70's childrens programmes DVDs (free from the Sunday Times) and Walking with Dinosaurs. it worked for us although I feel that some friends felt rather threatened by it, as if our TV habits were a criticism of their parenting so I tend to keep quiet or even lie if asked a direct question.

Another point is that there are now so many channels and programmes that the children all watch different stuff anyway, it's not like the 70's with only three channels.

YANBU and with time, you may notice a remarkable change in your household, a more calm and peaceful atmosphere.

At first the children will feel a bit lost but as they get used to finding other things to do, they will miss TV less, then they won't miss it at all.

They'll need you to help them make new habits though - games, puzzles, dolls etc.

We once had a month-long holiday with bare basics of technology. I never did bother to figure out the TV, and it was the most fun time we've ever had. The kids were so chilled out, played and played, made up games etc.

Never looked back.

We have friends with four children, each of whom has their own TV and laptop. the whole family is always permanently glued to a screen of some description. They have bucketloads of attitude, talk in TV-speak, are arrogant, clumsy, overweight and socially awkward. The youngest sits with his nose pressed to the television and, at 3, can barely string two words together.

YANBU. My 4yo and 2yo have never watched TV at home. My 4yo occasionally watches some at pre-school but is not particularly interested. They do watch some songs/cartoons on the iPad with DH, usually 70s things from the past. (20 mins at a time 3 or 4 times a week, before tea - always with him, so they chat about it and sing the songs together etc.)

I don't think limited amounts of TV is harmful per se. Just not that necessary. While I'm making dinner, my DSs play with each other. Sometimes I get interrupted and have to go and sort out things between them but not that often.

Part of our reason for not having TV is that at this young age, it's hard to ration - because the boys have never had it, they don't ask for it. DH notices that if the iPad watching goes beyond 20 mins, the boys get glassy-eyed and bad-tempered when it's switched off, so we keep it below that.

We don't have the TV on at all until after they've gone to bed. I've always hated background TV anyway, so that's fine with me.
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And no problem re: friends. As others have said, they all watch different things and the DSs know the characters from books and toys and stuff.

People think you're weird though, so we avoid telling them.

YANBU, but you are being CRAZY!

So long as the TV is an object that they can see, they will miss it and want to watch it. If you are going to ban it completely you need to get rid of it or put it in your room or something.

I wouldn't ever ban TV for my kids as I watch it myself and enjoy it. But mine have never been over-stimulated to the point they won't sleep either.

Another YANBU here. I have instituted various "TV detox" periods when DS has been being particularly difficult, and I really notice the difference in his overall mood: it's not just a question of avoiding tantrums when the CBeebies have to go to sleep, but throughout the day.

Now, this may not work on your child (some children seem to be able to handle it better than others), but do try it out and see the effect on your own child - why not?

If you have a computer (which you, presumably, do, being on MN and all...), the BBC iPlayer is great for controlling content.

Also, if you ever need an argument to turn off CBeebies, especially with the early nights in the winter, you can actually "shift" the clock by turning on the television during CBeebies hours and pressing "7" (on Freeview) for BBC3. The red "off air" sign will come up, and your lie about the CBeebies' being asleep will appear confirmed!

Applause to MiniMonty!

YABU if you have a tv and you watch it. YANBU if you are actually getting rid of your tv! We don't have one at all - no ban, but no tv for any of us, obviously!

Tv for under 12 is terrible IMO, so YANBU. Best thing we ever did was getting rid of it, my 3dc don't ask for it or feel different to others. But then we have NO electronics for them until high school anyway so they're not bothered.

I grew up with limited tv watching hours and am doing the same for my children. They are allowed to watch on Saturday and Sunday morning from the time they get up, until I get woken up. This has the additional benefit of encouraging them to let me sleep in :) . My dd is 9 and ds is 11 and we have had this rule since the beginning. I also include non-school related computer time into this allotment. The result is, (besides the obvious one of less brain-rotting time) that my children are noticeably more self-sufficient when it comes to entertaining themselves than any of their classmates. They will often sit down and just read a book (even dd who claims to hate reading), or play a board games or play with dolls/lego/stuff. They have a few friends with similar rules in their households and when they come over to play, the kids play nicely without need for adult intervention, vs the kids who come from households with lots of screen time who just whine about being bored all the time.
Also, just a little comment about using "parental control" settings on computer and tv. Chances are your kids will figure out how to work around them at a very young age. My ds had hacked the parental control system at his school so he could get on any website he wanted to by the the time he was 9. Luckily I had taken the route of supervising computer time and discussions about being safe on the internet.