Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about Family Guy?

92 replies

AngryMotherF · 03/01/2012 21:13

Regular name changer here! Although I could well be recognised by those in the know anyway, I am too angry to care!

Ds is 11. He is quite an immature and unstreetwise 11, and he also has aspergers. His Dad and I split up years ago, but most of the time we have a really good relationship. We completely co parent together, and I would say that we are actually quite good friends as well.

A couple of moths ago, I found out that ds had been watching Family Guy at his Dads house. I wasn't happy about it, but I've never really watched it so I didn't think I was in a good position to judge. So I watched it to see for myself. I still wasn't happy about it, but I figured the damage had been done so I chatted to ds about it and tried to explain some of it to him. He told me that he found a lot of it confusing, but he thought some of it was funny. I basically explained that the things he didn't understand we're mainly sex related jokes meant for adults, and tried to do it in a way that would encourage him to ask me about things he wanted to know. I knew his Dad was going to allow him to continue watching, so my approach was one of damage limitation.

Believe me, it really isn't easy to explain this stuff to a child with AS who doesn't like deep conversation at the best of times!

Spoke to ex about it, he says loads of 11yo's watch Family Guy, and I wouldn't stop my children watching a panto that has jokes aimed at adults in it. Hmm I asked him to only let him watch it when he was there so he could explain things that he thought needed explaining. I can usually trust his judgement well, and we would normally respect each others wishes about stuff like this.

Anyway (sorry, I know this is getting long) today ds came home with the Family Guy annual. It even says on the front that it is intended for mature audiences. I read a couple of pages after taking it away from ds, and it talks of bondage, pedophiles, sadomasochism, and that's just for starters!

WTF do I do about this? Ds understands why I have taken the book and why I don't want him to learn about things in this way, but I'm out of my depth, know very little about this stupid bollocks programme, and my ex is refusing to talk about it. He put the phone down on me when I told him I took the book off our son.

I'm not BU right?

OP posts:
overmydeadbody · 03/01/2012 21:33

YADNBU

Family Guy is for adult audiences. I would be livid if that was my DS.

It is not on a par wit The Simpsons Hmm. The only thing it has in common with The Simpsons is that it is animated.

needanewname · 03/01/2012 21:35

So bad language = not ok for chdren
Bondage, sm, pedophilia = ok

Really?!

festi · 03/01/2012 21:36

I would stop ds staying at dps house on this one untill an agreement could be struck, drastice maybe but I would feel that strongly.

completely different story but I have just discovered exp leaves dd 5 in the car while he pops in shops and supermarkets and the bookies. I havent had a chance to tackle him on this one but Im pretty much expecting a similar responce as your exp. But I will definatly make it clear if it continues dd will not be going anywhere with him.

I would not let this go un challeneged OP.

JasperJohns · 03/01/2012 21:36

I love Family Guy.

I have a 13 year old and there is no way he would be allowed to watch it.

Winkly · 03/01/2012 21:36

Family Guy is not on during the day, it doesn't get shown til about 10 o'clock at night! I love it but watch it from behind my hands its so inappropriate. YANBU.

Original poster
AngryMotherF · 03/01/2012 21:37

He has accepted the AS, although I'm not exactly sure what he thinks about the way it affects ds.

I'm likely to get flamed for this but I'm going to say it anyway. Ds has led a fairly sheltered little life so far. He has just started in y7 at what I would call a fairly posh state school, and his primary was on of those leafy village type schools. I know they have their problems but I know I was much more streetwise at 11 than ds is now. Ex has a lovely DP who has children of her own. they are also lovely, very polite and everything, but they are way more streetwise than my dc. They have to be just because of the area they live in. One of them has chatted to me about being allowed to watch 18 films and has watched people play on 18 video games. He is 8!

I think the fact that ex is spending a lot of time with dc that are more streetwise than his might be clouding his judgement on this, because I really would never have thought that he would allow this.

I'm worried that he will continue to do stuff like this and he will tell ds not to tell me if he knows I will take it away or have a go about it. I really don't want to damage the relationship I have with ex, but he won't sodding listen!

OP posts:
WibblyBibble · 03/01/2012 21:41

I like Family Guy enough to have bought a couple of season box sets in the past when I had more money. I won't be letting my daughter watch it when she's 11. Maybe 15 at the youngest. It's not just 'references that will go over children's heads'- it's people dressed up in bondage gear, dogs getting off with teenage girls, etc. No child with half an IQ point is going to be able to ignore all the dodgy references!

Original poster
AngryMotherF · 03/01/2012 21:43

Loads of cross posts there! Thank you for all the replies.

Needanewname, you have a good point.

I can't stop my children visiting their Dad, they both have a right to see each other, and I don't have the right to do that. I can't emphasise enough the way we have parented together. Ex has come to every school performance with me, every parents evening, I chat to him on the phone regularly about little things to do with the dc, he and my DH have even built ds's bed together, he is as much their parent as I am. I think that's probably why this has shocked me so much, most of the time we respect each others opinions and work stuff out.

OP posts:
NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 03/01/2012 21:46

OP you are not being unreasonable.

It's not suitable for younger children or pre-teens and it is not like the Simpsons.

StrandedBear you might find it funny, but you are not an eleven year old child with AS, you are an adult. The OP has said that he told her he finds the programme more confusing than funny, so clearly he's not old enough to watch it and really enjoy it.

The OP's issue isn't even that her ex allows him to watch it, she has accepted that he has the right to allow their son to watch TV shows which she wouldn't let him watch at home with her.

But she has asked him to watch the show with their son and explain anything that confuses him, rather than leave their son to watch it alone, feel confused and come home to ask her to explain something she hasn't seen.

And rather than respect the fact that his son feels confused about something he has allowed him to watch and help him understand it, her ex has chosen to send him home with an annual that sounds even more explicit and confusing for him. Like the OP says, that smacks of point scoring to be the cool parent and if he's doing that at the expense of being a responsible parent then the OP has every right to complain.

Original poster
AngryMotherF · 03/01/2012 21:52

Thanks NoOnes. Smile

To be fair, ds does enjoy it, although I am struggling to see why. I know there is loads he doesn't understand so how he is getting pleasure out of watching it, I don't know.

Whoever made the point about it being worse in print because it can be pondered over has a good point. I was pleased that ds didn't argue at all when I took the book away, even he can see that it's not really suitable for a child and I have a reason to be concerned.

OP posts:
RabidEchidna · 03/01/2012 21:54

The DVDs are rated 15

festi · 03/01/2012 21:59

I would not advocate on stopping dcs seeing their dad on any level, just that I would prevent dc going to his home untill an agreement could be reached.

kittensmakemesqueee · 03/01/2012 22:04

Wayyyyyyyyyyy different form the Simpsons..I'm sure the simpsons never have rape jokes, let alone a pedophile old man..

SugarPasteVelociraptor · 03/01/2012 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tuppence2 · 03/01/2012 22:08

YANBU
I don't think I would let a child of mine watch family guy until they were 15/16. as I don't think it is intended/aimed at a young audience (Tbh, there's a lot of jokes I don't get as they relate to current affairs in the US or American celebrities who aren't big over here)
My nephew has watched it since he was 14 (16 now) but he is very streetwise and has been exposed to mature subject matters, etc.
I would explain to exp that you are not comfortable with you DS watching it, maybe suggesting The Simpsons instead. As you say, he may acknowledge your DS's AS, but not fully understand all aspects?

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 03/01/2012 22:09

YANBU
I love Family Guy too but I don't think its suitable for any 11 year old.

ddubsgirl · 03/01/2012 22:10

i love it,love simpsons too,all mine have seen it and like simpson the adult jokes tend to by-pass them,but if you have asked for him not to watch it then fair enough.

youarekidding · 03/01/2012 22:26

YANBU, I have recently started watching FG and also find it 'funny as fuck'. However I have to admit there are things I don't always 'get' Blush and think it's totally inappropriate viewing for an 11yo, especially one who has aspergers syndrome and a limited understanding of the social world.

I also love Stewie

FabbyChic · 03/01/2012 22:30

It's hilarious son has been watching for years and he is 18 now. Some of the things are a tad embarassing to watch with your son though if you are their mum!

FabbyChic · 03/01/2012 22:30

Oh not as embarassing as the Inbetweeners! ha

TroublesomeEx · 03/01/2012 22:32

My DS is just 13. He's not allowed to watch FG.

But then he's not allowed to watch The Inbetweeners, Fresh Meat or a lot of the other stuff that some of his peers watch.

He does watch Scrubs which is about as adult as I'm happy for him to go at the moment.

Original poster
AngryMotherF · 03/01/2012 22:35

It's not me that finds it embarrassing Fabby, it's ds!

I have no problem discussing stuff, it explaining it in an age appropriate way that I struggle with, and I'd rather ds learned about this stuff in a nicer way!

OP posts:
Victorialucas · 03/01/2012 22:36

My mum was letting my 9yo watch fg. I was not at all happy!

myfriendflicka · 03/01/2012 22:37

YANBU

I watch Family Guy with my nearly 14 year old DS - I like it sometimes, at other times I also think it is bloody misogynistic and vile and I shouldn't have ever let him watch it. It is sometimes hard to know if they (scriptwriters) are being misogynistic or ironic (and I am possibly being too charitable there), and that gets on my nerves.

So if it confuses me, it is going to be even more so for an 11 year old with AS.
I do not envy you OP, it doesn't sound as if your Ex is going to be reasonable about stopping your DS watching FG because you are not happy. I agree about the annual too.

Sometimes I will agree with my DS that it is very funny, and at other times rail against it. So that's a really good bit of consistent parenting then!

The only thing I can say in my defence is that DS and I have a good old argument about it, and he knows what I think and that might even influence him at some point.

Goes to stand in bad parenting corner

Original poster
AngryMotherF · 03/01/2012 22:44

Flicka, I don't think you soundalike a bad parent at all. It sounds like the sort of converstaion I would like to have with my ds, just not while he is still 11!

I'm fairly liberal really, and if my ds is old enough to understand what things mean and why it's a joke and when it's appropriate, I wouldn't mind. But he is too young and struggles with this stuff too much for it to happen. I need him to get better at taking things less literally before I think he is capable of handling the subjects, and attitudes, discussed on FG.

OP posts: