tis long, sorry, guess I'm venting a bit! thanks in advance for reading!
DH and I have a 3 year old son, and this year had the luxury of a NYE weekend without him as he went for a stay at grandparents from friday to monday. So we got gig tickets to go out NYE. A half dozen friends also got tickets, some of them from out of town so we invited them to come over to ours pre gig for food and drinks and offered them beds for the night. Then other friends of friends from out of town got in touch saying they were coming to the gig too and would it be OK if they joined us, could they bagsy floor space. So since we had a child free flat for the weekend we thought why not. Post gig some other friends in the same town were having a party, so all the crowd already mentioned were invited to that and that was the rough plan. Ours first, then gig, then party, then people could come back and part/ crash at ours if they like.
DH and I were both avid party people before we had our son, DH particularly so. We still do have and go to parties since DS, but not every weekend like before obviously. And myself less so than DH because of pregnancy/breastfeeding/ motherhood etc. I'm also pregnant again now, six months in. So I knew I wouldn't be drinking and would most likely crash early on, but wasn't worried as I could just leave the party and go to bed and let others carry on. Then have sunday to tidy up and get ready for ds coming back on monday.
My only worry was that we had a New Year party two years back and some friends of DH came and then didn't leave till the second as they say their aren't any trains, sitting on our sofa while we cleared up and tried to get back to family life around them. It infuriated me as I'd invited them to a party, not to stay for days drinking and being hungover on our sofa. In the end I had throw them out and this really upset DH as they were his friends. I told DH that I really didn't want a replay of this, and he agreed.
This year an old friend of DH got in touch asking if he could come too. This guy I dislike immensely, he's completely innappropriate with me (telling me I'm the most beautiful/amazing woman in the world, squeezing my bum), a complete waster, instantly getting drunk and needing looked after and takes advantage of his friends constantly. I asked DH to refuse him, due to past experience of him and of this kind of situation, but DH refused saying I was in the wrong and unkind, putting him in a difficult position of having to refuse a old friend. So I relented and said "OK, only if you manage him and don't let him take the piss"
So the night in question was great, pre gig food and gig fantastic. But post gig everyone (about 20 people) ended up coming back to ours rather than the other party. I went to bed as knackered by 2am, but didn't particularly mind a party going on at ours. Happy for my DH as he loves it. His friend was predictably a drunken inappropriate arse, but I just tried to let it wash over me and trusted DH to handle him.
Got up 10 ish on New Year's day to find most of the party sleeping around the house, but DH and a few others still awake and drunk. I'm not too bothered, I have a bath, clean up the house and cook some breakfast for emerging friends with hangovers. Then clean up from breakfast, say good bye to folk and go out for a walk, feeling pretty good I had survived the party! When I got back at 2ish most people had left, but a few were still sleeping and DH passed out. So I clean up again around remaining drunkards, hoover and make it clear I'm tired and think that the remaining (6 or so) people will be going soon surely.
DH's friend comes into kitchen, opens fridge and takes out a beer to carry on drinking. I ask him not to, say that I don't want the party continuing and could he think about leaving rather than getting drunk again. He refuses and I feel a bit creeped out, so go and wake DH, asking him for help with his friend and asking the remaining folk to leave too. He says OK, I go back through and find that the others have woken up and started drinking again with DH"s friend. I start to feel fed up and a bit lost, as I don't want a second night of partying but feel abit weird about confronting them all. None of them are my "friends", they are either DH's or friends of friends. DH doesn't get up for another hour, by which time I'm on the verge of pregnany knackered frustated tears. He's still drunk and about to join in when I take him to one side to ask him to stop the party continuing before people are too drunk to drive home.
To his credit he does. He has a quiet word to people and that's OK, everyone stops drinking and starts to sort themselves out. Well apart from his arsehole friend who says "well there's no way for me to go as there's no trains today so no way for me to get home" and takes a swig from the whisky decanter wedding present , dropping it and nearly breaking it.
I'm so angry at this point I leave the room. By the time I return one of the others who can still drive have offered to take arsehole friend with them and they all go about 5pm.
But then DH and I have a huge row, as I'm upset that his friend was going to try and stay after everything and was a complete arse as predicted. Despite DH telling me I was out of order to not want him to come. That people were just continuing drinking and that DH was passed out and not caring or helping me. That if I hadn't asked him to sort it out he wouldn't of, and that he ignored me the first time I asked because he was passed out drunk.
He thinks I'm being ridiculous because he asked them to leave when I asked him to and they left and so it's all sorted. and that I should of asked them to leave myself if i was bothered. and that I was being ridiculous expecting him him to listen and get up when he was drunk and passed out. and that I shouldn't have agreed to a party if I didn't want a party.
I did want a party, just not one that that lasted two days with arseholes I didn't invite there. and i made that clear before hand.
AIBU or is he?