To be a bit hurt and back off our friendship?

[fallenpetal]

Been close (I thought) friends with someone for 10 years, she talked about a NYE party saying I could bring both dc over and we could let our hair down. I asked her 2 weeks before if she was having a party and she said something about if they had enough work.
I think fair enough and assumed if she was having one she would text. I then discover NYE she was going to a mutual friends (3rd yr in a row) to their party to which I was not invited.
I rationalised and thought it was down to money/clearing up but actually I feel quite hurt that she could not tell me that was what she was doing and I only found out by the mutual friends facebook pictures :(

Im now thinking that actually Im the only free in the day friend so she shops/lunches with me because there is no one else around so I am a convenient driver to get to where ever we go ....

Am I being over sensitive? I know I have friends I do different things with but had she not initially talked about it and invited us over than backed out of it that it wouldnt even cross my mind if that makes sense ?

Why didn't the mutual friend invite you?

We have only known each other a little while - dont really know each other that well

Oh fallen, I think that she just changed her mind about hosting a party. If the friendship is generally okay otherwise, I wouldn't worry too much.

That's a good point Beertricks, FB does add insult to injury somewhat by letting you browse photos of everyone else having fun.

Actually i think thats why I am upset, we had a miserable NYE as usual and they had lots of fun it seems as they have talked nothing else since - Maybe Im just jealous!

Does shr use you or does she invite you to other things that go on? If she used you, back away and spend your time with people who don't use.

Bloody facebook.

Anyway, I do think your friend should have told you that it wasn't happening/she was doing something else. But then again I think you should of been more pushy for a yes or no.

I would feel the same OP.
She suggested meeting for NYE, received a better offer (party hosted by someone else) and forgot about you.
YANBU.

We seem to spend time together in fits and starts which makes me think even more that I am convenient - I think ill give her the benefit of the doubt but she if she gets in touch now the kids are back at school rather than me get in touch with her

I had a friend like this. In the day or when she was doing anything on a saturday night we were bezzies. I found out by accident not fb that she had a her b'day night out with her friendss.

Oh goldbow thats nasty of her, Id be furious!

I know fallen, we are longer bezzies. there is more

Depends exactly what she said to you. If she thought of hosting a party, but then decided not to bother when she was invited to go out, I'd say that's OK

If she definitely invited you and then cancelled when she got a better offer, that's rude

Ug now my neighbour id doing my head in ..... I think I need a break from all my so called friends!

But if you make plans, don't just ditch other folk.

YABU with your friend. She was not the host of the party she attended.

YANBU OP. I do not think you are being over-sensitive. She was very rude not to inform you when she changed her plans. I would be annoyed too.