absent dad

[trundlepuke]

My daughter was born in september. Her dad lives across the street with his new girlfriend and has ignored her birth and hasn't seen her apart from setting up a direct depit for £25.00 a week which doesn't go very far. I confronted him at christmas and took the baby over after giving him 3 weeks notice via text. They were out. I took her round an hour later and they ignored me....I could see them sitting on the sofa! My ex eventually answered the door and told me to f* off and slammed the door on me and the baby! He then threatened to call the police. Was I being unreasonable in taking her over ( I get no response to texts or phonecalls less than 5 made by no means excessive). Should I go to the CSA or is it a hassle ?

What did you want from him when you took the baby over?

Were you looking for him to want to cuddle his child, or was it purely to sort out the money?

If it was the latter, then I'd say you're better to go through the CSA I'm afraid.

If it was the former, sadly you can't force him to care

Didn't want to read and run as what you are going through just sounds awful. I don't have any experience in this I'm afraid but if I were you I'd go through the CSA as it sounds like otherwise you are going to have a battle on your hands.
Hope they can help you.
Remember that it is his loss. You are the lucky one who gets to cuddle your beautiful baby girl every day.

Does the new girlfriend know that the baby is his?

Hi Trundle, I'm really sorry to hear you're having to go through this. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. My first thoughts are why would you want a man like this to be involved in your childs life, he sounds a disgustingly poor excuse for a human being. For what it's worth, I say, move home as soon as you possibly can, contact the CSA and get as much as you deserve (well according to the CSA) and get on with your life with your new joyous baby. No one needs a 'man' in their life like this. You're well and truly better off without him. What a fucking cock! Sorry that just slipped out.

Sorry to hear this.. But you should just get on with your life with your child and phone Csa. He obviously isn't interested so I wouldn't push it....it's sad but some men are just tossers ( I know at least 2)

Is the 'Father' on the birth certificate?

I'm so sorry what a vile %&$%!@ he is x

What a horrible man! Does the girlfriend know he is the baby's "father" ?

Sorry to hear about your situation. I wouldn't leave it there.
Can you contact someone else in his family, maybe his parents. He is burying his head in the sand which, later, he will regret. If I was you I would try more avenues before taking this to the next level.
Don't expect anything from him then you wont be disappointed if you do end up going to CSA and removing him from DD life.
Good luck and keep smiling girl.

seems to be an awfull lot of threads similar to this at the moment. [cofused].

even

Hi OP I wouldn't bother with him anymore, trust me been there and done that with DS father.

Only today did I see on his FB (Public profile) that he wished his son a happy birthday on the wrong day

He like to play the "Im not allowed to see my son" card for sympathy but im still waiting 5 years on for him to come and collect ds for his weekend

Too many people like HB are quick to walk away. Maybe needs to trim her thoughts with other areas. Go with your own instincts, early days yet.

Hold on I walked away?? How the hell did I do that? You can't force people to see their children

If he didn't reply why take the baby over there? Sorry it sounds as though you are trying to force a reaction out of him.

thanks so much for the comments! I needed a reality check. Me and my little girl have each other. i need to move on with dignity and not contact her dad again and not expect anything.

That sounds like a good idea.

contact the csa and let them deal with him. I think you are quite entitled to take him at his word and fuck off. if he wants to see dd then he has to do the legwork. you on the otherhand get to have a lovely relationship with you baby.