to be upset by christmas present 'snub'

[Vickles]

On Boxing Day - my adoptive sister's came over with their children to swap xmas presents.

(Huge history here of me losing parents when I was young, and was taken in by my aunt and uncle and two cousins... even though I called my aunt and uncle 'Mum' and 'Dad' overtime.. I never felt accepted and loved by the cousins... although we called each other 'sisters'! Years of feeling left out, black sheep of the family etc.....)

I've been beginning to stand up to them these past 2 years... and they have been hurt by me 'pulling away' from them. It's all a bit of a mess to be honest... and it hasn't been helped that our Dad (my uncle) passed away a couple of years ago - and our Mum (aunt) has been away alot and has met a new man... and even though she loves us all.. she doesn't really want to play happy families!

Anyway, one 'sister' has a daughter aged 5yrs and the other has an aged 8 yrs... and I bought them each a pink webcam each for christmas... so they can talk to each other (as they lived about 70 miles away from each other)

Well, my older 'sister' saw what I'd given her daughter, and said, infront of everyone (there were some other family members there) 'we have a mac computer'...'it won't work'.... and then just looked at me! I kind of looked around the room embarassed, and apologised, saying 'sorry, i didn't know that'... 'i don't think i've got the receipt, sorry'.... and it remained quiet.... then, the younger 'sister' said 'oh, alan's got a laptop, it can work on that'..... then the older 'sister' said...'it's broken'!

To be honest.... it's always been like this... and I've just taken it, since being 13 yrs (I'm 37 yrs now!) And it's really effected my self esteem over time... So, last year, I pretty much lost it with them, saying that I was fed up of the way they treat me... and I pulled right back.

What I'm asking your help for.. is how to deal with this latest incident. Do I let it go... and just smile and nod next time we all get together for something... Or mention it.. or make an equally sarcastic comment about something! (Our 'Mum' has arranged a family photoshoot of all the grandchildren, including her new husband's grandkids - which sounds lovely, and we're well up for it!) So, our paths will cross this weekend....

Any help is greatly appreciated!
x

Dreadful manners imo. Get the girls vouchers from Smith's in future.

Did she take a proper look at the webcam, it would have told her if it was compatible or not, most bits for computers these days are both MAc and PC compatible.

Sounds like she was embarrassed by her own gift to your children and decide to turn it around on you instead.Before others started mentally comparing the gifts.

Don't say anything at the coming gathering tho, it will make you look the bad guy and I'd stay away from them as much as possible.

Whats crossed my mind is that is exactly how a real sister speaks to you sometimes. They can say things without thinking, be overly honest/rude and treat you in a way you never would accept in life from friends. Doesnt make it right makes it real though.
Only you know if you can be the bigger person and kill her with kindness or just kill the relationship.
You are an adult now you decide if you think she is worth it.

I wouldn't expect either of my sibs to be that rude about a present on first opening it though, although they may say later "can you swap it as I don't want her to have a webcam yet/ it won't work on our mac...". I wonder if the immediate response was so her daughter heard and didn't get excited by the webcam because she didn't want her daughter to have one but didn't want to tell her daughter that and preferred to blame the computer. It was very rude to you though and if this was the case I'd have expected her to apologise later.
I agree though that siblings are often ruder to each other than they are to friends because they know the bond between them can take a bit of friction.

thanks 'where'smypelvicfloorgone'... i won't ...x
thanks 'fuzzywuzzy'... didn't mention it at the gathering, and have let it go..i'm already the bad guy really.. but, i think they'd look at me like some mad woman if i say anything.... they're on their own planet together and i'm on my own (thankfully) - so, saying stuff just doesn't work with them.. they will never understand me, so i don't waste my time trying to talk to them about stuff....
spot on 'aquashiv'.... "Only you know if you can be the bigger person and kill her with kindness or just kill the relationship."

Thanks everyone for taking the time to help and comment... Wise words , thankyou...xx

Yanbu, poor manners on sister's part.

I am surprised at people saying you are being over sensitive. I think sometimes on AIBU people like to have a go at the OP no matter what. OP YANBU. Even without the history your sister was incredibly rude. I would be very upset with anyone reacting like that to a present especially one that I had put the thought into that you did. If it really was no compatible with a mac she could have asked you quietly later for a receipt.
My sisters and I are very open with each other and are all straight talkers but we would never be so ungracious as your sister was. It's called common manners.