...to ask for 'stuff' back?....

[cozietoesie]

STBXH and I sorted the money but the property was left a tad ill-defined and a matter of 'goodwill'. Now, I find that he's been right through the house and taken anything he fancied.

I was quite careful to ensure that anything he received as a present (from me or anyone) was his and packed in boxes for him - and likewise presents from his side of the family and friends. Some of the two above were very tasty and quite valuable but so be it, I thought. They were 'his'.

But he's been in here and taken presents to me from my father and mother, antiques I bought over the years - basically, if he liked it, it's gone.

My DB has been magnificent - he grabs me and mutters ' It's only 'stuff', Sis'. And he's right. I know he's right. But I'm still so rankled and angry I could spit. Presents from my Dad and Mom (both since departed) matter to me.

Should I just leave it or give him a shot across the bows with the 4 page (and growing) list. The money value is not an issue. I'm just so pissed with him.

I'd welcome advice.

Go through a solicitor and ask for lots more things than you think you are entitled to. Specifically ask for something he will want, then settle for what you really want. :)

Thank you all for letting me vent. I had the 'early morning blues'. (You know? When you are all het up but you can't do anything because there's nothing can be done at 04.00.)

Solicitors aren't really in the picture. We do have family solicitors (a firm to send shudders through anyone dealing with us - we mention them occasionally as a frightener) but they pretty much leave life to us because DB and I are a match for just about anyone. (Law is pretty easy - you just need to be able to read and pronounce Old Scots and have a logical brain.)

Luckily for him, the STBXH left the 6-7 'family items' which were given to me by my Dad in trust for the next generation. (Not presents as such.) If he'd taken them, I'd have borrowed a couple of rat terriers and gone looking for his lower midriff. And he would have known that.

But the rest of the stuff? Oh Lordy.

Awful situation but I think without having defined who was having what, it was bound to happen. Although, my cousin and her first husband divided up all property equally and it was legally done. Then she went on holiday and he tried to break into the house to nick stuff that he wanted. Luckily her next door neighbour was a policeman and hauled him back out through the window in time.

All you can do now is go back to him and ask him to return certain things that are sentimental value for you and hope for the best, but I don't think that you can make him do it I'm afraid.

essexgurl

You're probably right. I relied on honour. More fool me.

Well then perhaps now is the time to stop using the solicitors as a 'frightener' and show STBXH that you mean business.