To take mother to theatre rather than dh.

[lurkinginthebackground]

Dear all,
Dh mentioned to me that he would like to see the Phantom of the Opera.
Ok thinks I, no problem I can go along with that.
Anyway imagine my delight when I find out that it is touring and it is coming to a town near us.
I mention this to dh and tell him that I am thinking of booking for the 2 of us and he can have it as his father's day present (more than I would normally spend on a gift btw). He then replies that actually he isn't so sure as "He would rather go to the West End to see it."
I can see his point but:
We don't live anywhere near the West End so this would entail having to stay overnight which then entails problems with childcare. We could take the 3 dcs with us but I know that ds would not appreciate it, and to be honest I am in no position financially to pay for 5 West End theatre tickets, trian fares and over night accomodation. Neither would I relish the thought of having to spend hours searching for the cheapest deals.
Going to the one on tour would be so much easier and cheaper.
So after telling my mum that Phantom is touring she says she would like to go. So, would I be unreasonable to take her for her birthday to the one near us instead? Dh could come too if he wanted.

Btw I have already seen it in the West End, less than 12 months ago, so was doing it for dh in the first instance and not myself.
Sorry this is long!!!

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me

I think that sounds a bit mean actually, especially if you have seen it on the West End recently.

Couldn't your Mum have the dc overnight so you and dh could go to London? Could you save up for it as a special treat?

I'm a big Phantom fan, and I would want to see it in London for the fort time too. A touring theatre will be brilliant I am sure, but there is no way it would be able to compare.

Or is there anyone else dh could go to London with? You could get him two tickets and let him take someone else.

The thing is we went to London, with several friends, recently for a friend's birthday so I don't want to ask my mum again so soon. We do struggle for babysitters. I really can't afford to pay for him to go with someone else either.

I was wondering if it will be as good on tour as it is in the West End though.

Oh, sorry, I though you were doing it as a fathers day thing so would have until June.

It would still be good on tour, most of the magic is about the music and that could be recreated anywhere. But the won't be able to do the thing with the chandelier which is pretty amazing!

I saw it on tour years ago, they still did the chandelier thing. I think most theatres can?

Go ahead and ask your mum, and go see the West End production with your dh. The worst she can do is say no.

You can still take your mum to see it for her birthday.

One last post from me. I didn't go see my favorite singer in June because I did not like the venue and we couldn't afford to go see her in another city, hotel etc. My dh and ds went, and I stayed home. Silly, but I do not like outdoor concerts in the heat of the summer, plus standing the entire time, I have a bad back.
I totally get your dh wanting it to be "perfect" experience.

Ooo im going to see phantom in April at Manchester. So excited.

Take your mom and have fun

So you have seen it... You. Can't afford to pay for a friend.to go with him but you can afford to take your mum and dh can come to that? Hmm, tbh I think you are being selfish. If you can afford for you to go with him.then you can afford.for someone else to go with him instead! You have seen it, why do you need to go a second time? The west end experience is totally part of the fun, especially with phantom! This was your dh's thing, ditching him.in favour of your mum who wouldn't have thought of it if not for your dh is rude. I would be seriously pissed off if I were him as going to the west end means you can go any time and your mum probably will be up for child sitting again by then!

Agree, you should offer him the choice of 2 tickets to the west end, but he'll have to take someone else, or if he wants to go with you, go to the touring production. Or 3rd option, you'll go to see it in the west end with him, but not this year. (which actually might be the more sensible option)

You could still buy your mum two tickets for the touring production for her birthday anyway and she could take whomever she wanted as her guest.

Phantom is a dirty word with me right now. We too live near a theatre where it is touring. some friends and I decided to take our dds (teenagers); one of mine is in a wheelchair. Have taken her to the theatre on various occasions, we sit in the designated area front of the circle. Ideal.
I phoned for Phantom tickets way in advance to find plenty of tickets but no wheelchair spaces. I enquired why. Told that Cameron Mackintosh had reduced space for disabled access (I assume to fit in stage machinery for chandelier? don't know.)
I decided it was not fair for dd2 not to see Phantom so decided to book DD1 and me in with the friends party, and then to book on a separate night for disabled dd and me. A pity for her to miss out on the group treat, but never mind.
Now bearing in mind we have just been to see the panto, where I paid a half price ticket for the wheelchair (£12< Christmas Eve matinee) plus the usual zero for the Accompanying Seat (ie me), imagine my surprise to find that for Phantom not ONLY are there no free Accompanying Seats , but also no half price for the wheelchair, and the tickets are £47 EACH. In exactly the same position as the panto (I'm talking a big professional panto here) instead of £12 for the two of us it will be £94.
Absolutely unbelievable. Apparently the touring company sets the seat prices.
It had better be fantastic.

"I don't want to ask my mum again so soon. "

Why not? Why assume that she'll refuse? Then you're down to 2 tickets, railfare and a hotel overnight. Makes it a romantic getaway, a memorable event, rather than just an ordinary night out that you could do any time. I know what it's like when you've got your heart set on something special and someone tries to fob you off with second-best... takes the gloss off it.

Thanks for all the replies.
I am not against seeing it again, I loved it!
But my mum kicked up such a stink about us "going away" for 1 night! Initially we were asked to go for 2 nights away for friends birthday but dh and I had to say no we can only get away for 1. His mum and dad do not babysit and my mum told me that "I shouldn't me going leaving my kids," they are not babies either. It is so difficult to go away, that is part of the reason I would prefer to go to the tour one as I can book it around the kids activities etc.

I am not going to pay for anyone other than myself, dh or mum to go as it would be instead of a birthday present for mum or father's day present for dh. We cannot afford to go on holiday this year so believe me I am in no position to pay for a random friend to go.

I suppose I could take my mum to the tour one and save up and go next year or later with dh to the West end. I just hope he doesn't feel left out if I go to the local one!

Do you not have the ability to have full conversations with your DH, or do you just say one sentance and then try to figure out what each of you would really want to do?

Why are you not discussing this with him and going through the problems that each senario brings?

Oh the other thing that is bothering me slightly is that dh has just had his birthday, I mean this last week yet he didn't mention any desire to go and see Phantom until after I had bought 3 birthday presents from the kids plus 3 Christmas presents from the kids. I also wrapped a couple of token presents from myself as he commented on the fact that I had said I hadn't got him anything, again we have bills to pay etc etc. So I could have paid for the tickets as part of his birthday/Christmas present if he had said earlier. Also 2 of my dcs have birthdays around Christmas so money is very tight atm. My birthday is also December and I told him to buy me something that I would have to buy anyway itswim but he went and bought me a special present, which I am grateful for.

I will Birds. As soon as I mention the logistics of going to London he will know the problems re babysitting. Like I poster, his parents do not help and he is under no illusion of how little they have done for us. He was the one brought up by them, so often recalls how bad his own childhood was. At the moment though I don't want to ruin new year by reminding him of this fact.

I agree with LowReg.

Plainwhite, I understand that you are annoyed with the theatre and everything, but I'm not sure why disabled seats should be half price or why you should get a free seat with a wheelchair. A theatre trip is a luxury, not a necessity.

IMO, disabled seats should be as cheap as the cheapes seat available, and so should one to accompany, because you obviously don't have choice about where you sit. But it shouldn't be that low cost.

Anyway, it will be worth it, I'm sure you and dd will both love it!

Ooooooo.....thanks for posting this! Phantom IS amazing (saw it in the Liverpool Empire a few years ago.....twice as it was so good I had to watch it again.)

I had no idea it was touring again. It is nowhere near me, but is showing at Manchester (Easter hols) and in Cardiff (next Christmas) so that gives me plenty of time to book something somewhere.

THanks again!

DH managed to fall asleep half way through when we went