to ask how you become organised and together? Seriously how??

[inatrance]

This is a question for any of you who used to be disorganised/flaky and are now organised and sorted. I have been like this for so long and I drive myself and everyone around me crackers. I'm unbelievably forgetful, I am late a lot and I'm rubbish with finances. I'm so fed up of cringing because I'm so bloody rubbish and make stupid mistakes all the time!

I've got an 8mth DS and a 10yo DD and while I've always had disorganised tendencies, since I had DS, it's gone from bad to ridiculous and I feel like I am constantly trying to catch up with myself.

I'm self employed (which is for the best as even I'd have sacked me by now) and have somehow managed to run my businesses haphazardly over the last ten years without fucking up too massively. Well, not often anyway...

Well, no more, I've had enough. I am using the New Year to kick me up the arse and I need your help.

If you used to be crap and are now brilliant and incredibly organised, please, please tell me how you did it. What changed in your mind and where the hell did you start?

Thanks Xenia - if you can keep on top of things with five kids, I should be able to manage with my one! Funnily enough, i do manage to keep the paperwork under control as I have proper systems in place for that. It's all the other "stuff" that gets me down. However, I'm not at home all day - I work FT in quite a stressful job, and that's part of the problem - i really struggle to motivate myself to do housework after coming home in the evenings.

Named boxes in the loft for all the memorabilia sound manageable. I will have to work at cultivating the "one in, one out" rule!

I can't believe how many of you manage to stay organized with paper diaries and calendars! They were fatal for me for years. I used to sporadically purchase them, write in loads of stuff, then lose them or forget to look at them, then give up. For years.

I now have separate electronic calendars for work, home & DS. DH has separate calendars for work and home. We have all of them synced across iPhones, DH's iPad, my work computer, his laptop, my laptop. All appointments etc have appropriate-length reminders set.

It has changed my life! I am actually quite well-organized nowadays.

My house, on the other hand...

HoneyandHaycorns, I have the same problem as you; never managed to have another child, and pretty much impossible now, but can't help thinking "what if...", and so haven't chucked stuff away, and get tearful when I try. I asked about help with this on another thread, and found the following things useful:

• you won't feel sentimental about all the baby stuff, just bits of it. Start by just getting rid of the things you don't feel sentimental about, and then you'll get into the swing of it
• get rid of things to a good home (friend, family, charity)
• think of how much your DC will appreciate more storage space for his or her stuff
• you can always buy more kit if the occasion arises - I'm putting aside the same amount of money (roughly) as the things that I'm throwing out to splurge on baby gear if the unlikely need arises, or to splurge on jewellery if it doesn't .

Honey - I suspect I am in a similar position to you. I work long hours and its finding the time and energy to sent the systems up well in the first place that I find challenging. Once they are up and running I suspect they do make life a lot easier.

I do have a calendar / diary with all the school holidays etc already filled in so that's a start and a weekly planner on the fridge detailing, uniform /kit needed and start / pick up times for the children depending on school activities. I organise everything the night before for the school run.

HOWEVER, I'm a lot bit of a hoarder so there is too much stuff in our place and its not properly organised! I also have a few bits of admin /paperwork that are festering. I feel a list coming on! Followed by a gradual and painful declutter /clear out.

I have donated quite a lot of the baby clothes to younger family members where cash is tight. I kept one or two items that I really remember the boys wearing as babies.

I found it hard to get rid of the clothes as it did mean facing the fact that I was unlikely to have any more children but as DH said, if it did happen (less likely given my age) we could always buy some new stuff .

This thread is really helping me, actually - it helps to know that there are others out there with similar issues, and some of the tips are really useful. Running & Chaz, you're right - we could buy new stuff if another baby ever happened, as money isn't tight. I think I'm just clinging to the hope that it might still happen, but I'll be 39 this year, so increasingly unlikely. :( Still, having loads of baby stuff around probably won't help me feel any better about it.

On a more positive note, I have decided to go through my cd collection and bin the ones we never listen to, but I will copy any favourite songs to iTunes first so that I don't lose them altogether.

I'm also going to tackle a particularly cluttered cupboard in our sitting room.

2012 will be the year I get organised!! And I am going to use this week before I go back to work to try and get the systems in place to help me!

I got a dumpster and am happily chucking things in it. :) I need to be brutal and get rid of, honestly, about half the crap in my house and garage. I don't need it, want it or use it and it needs to go. Then I can get down to a routine and do the "little and often" thing. :)

(Chump, it depends on the children's ages. My children use the kitchen calendar a lot. It takes two seconds to write in Dentist on 10th August. They don't all have electronic devices but they allk now the calendar is where they write down if boy Z is coming to play and at what time and when school breaks up and it's visible in the kitchen. I think for lots of families one of those week per view paper diaries is helpful. They will write on school music lessons for the term and on which day, when is choir, orchestra etc so when we are getting ready the night before we can get the right instruments, rugby kit etc out. Now that could be on people's blackberries etc but they don't all have them and it would not then be visible to the children)

Just signing in - another über-procrastinator here! We decluttered quite a lot last year but still have a long way to go.

Will read thread later. When I get around to it.

OP , I too was once very disorganised.
It got so I was alsways annoying myselof by being late, hunting for things etc.

I started a thread here on MN to help and it was fabulous. I got wonderful advice. Particular thanks must go to LeQueen and Bonsoir who were very generous with suggestions and many many others too numerous to mention.

One thing that really helped was focussing on somethibg where I was focussed and organised. To prove to myself that I was not congenitally disasterous. And it was true!!! In eight years I had written seven books all delivered on time to my publishers, all edited within strict deadlines etc. I could do it!!!

So I have tried to apply this to our domestic arrangements. I have two diaries that I now update ferociously. I also timetable what needs doing each week, sometimes each day. I constantly review my lists and diaries. And I mean constantly. Nothing is too small to timetable. Nothing too small to diarise.

I won't say I'm perfect. I'm certainly not lequeen or Bonsoir and to be honest I think it might kill off the essence of me if I was. But I am sooooo much better at it all.

So once again ladies. I thank you.

I am naturally organised and feel quite panicky if things are chaotic. The best way to describe my life (or house) is boxes within boxes within boxes - that is, the rooms are boxes (within a big box, the house!) and there are 'boxes', or places, within each room. The absolutely vital thing is to have a place for everything.

Shelves in the alcove in my office for paperwork files ie lever arch folders with dividers for each category and the names clearly written on the spine. I also keep a notebook for each in which I record every convo with eg the bank, utility companies etc and keep in the appropriate file in a polypocket at the front. This is so I can say with confidence "On 5th April at 3.45pm I spoke to Natalie who said..." . I have an inbox for paperwork on my desk with I file every now and again - no set time.

Direct debits are essential to keep track of bill payments. I also keep an A4 notebook of receipts - stapled in with a corresponding dated handwritten list on the facing page - and a typed monthly direct debit/standing order table, which I tick off when each is paid so there are no nasty surprises. I got into this when money was very tight and I had to watch everything but it is a great system because I can find the receipt for everything (and, I admit, also periodically collate tables of spending in each category eg petrol, food, clothes, eating out etc to check where everything is going and if I'm overspending - but I know this is a bit anal..).

If everything has a place and everything is in its place, you can follow that invaluable maxim when you are tidying things away, which is to touch once - ie it is common to pick things up and put them down somewhere else, literally moving mess and clutter around: if the item has a 'home', you pick it up and put it immediately where it lives, touching it only once in the process.

I have a calendar on the wall in the kitchen which I can see clearly and look at frequently and everything goes on there using different coloured pens eg birthdays in red, filled out at the beginning of each year from the previous calendar. I need to be able to see it as I don't get on so well with diaries, electronic or physical, which are hidden away in my bag or my pocket. There are numerous pen pots in the house by eg the phone (which is right by the calendar) and I write in appts the minute I make them. When there were loads of us living in the house we had a family calendar with columns for each person.

I keep a block of post-it notes by my bed and in the kitchen, to jot down things to remember but my main reminder is a small moleskin notebook I keep in my bag. I write in appointments made while out (or leave myself a voicemail on my landline) and general notes and info to transfer when I get home. It is also my list book of things to do that day, to be transferred onto the next day if they aren't done.

I have a box of presents in my wardrobe which I stock up throughout the year - this Christmas I didn't buy one present in the run-up because I had them all already. I also have a box of cards which I also collect throughout the year when and if I see them. Book of first class stamps in my purse.

Clocks in the house 5 minutes fast, 10 minutes fast in the bathroom. My watch and car clock are 5 minutes fast, alarm deliberately vague but always fast by approx 10 or 15 mins. If I have to be somewhere at, say, 10, I aim to leave the house at 9. Though I got that wrong this christmas and arrived an hour early for a 6.30am shift...

I do all of this because I want to run my life and not have my life running me! I am inherently lazy and don't like to do more than I need to, want to enjoy my life and not be run ragged chasing after it, feeling crap that I'm getting everything wrong. As a young adult I was totally chaotic and at least an hour late for appts or plain didn't arrive at all. I hated living like that but tbh it was being a single parent that knocked me into shape. I had no choice really.

I'd say everything needs to belong somewhere. Our kitchen is always very tidy because we know where everything belongs. It's easier to keep it clean that way too

Sitting room is a mess because it has several piles of stuff that don't really belong anywhere. When visitors are coming, DH sweeps it all up, dumps it on our bedroom floor and then it is too easy to mislay things. It takes ages to find anything because we don't know where to look and it's harder to keep clean. I also have a vague feeling of panic that I don't know what's in there

Oh dear. I used to be so organised. When I lived on my own in my little flat, everything had its place, everything was filed, bills were paid when they arrived and I always felt generally on top of life.

Then I moved in with dh. He's chaotic. He procrastinates. Instead of my good habits rubbing off on him, he brought out the latent procrastinator in me. I fought it for a while, I'd have moments where I would get tidy and organised again and think 'thank god'. Then I had a baby. My organiser side crashed and burned. I've given up. There are small middens everywhere. Piles of stuff that need sorting. Clutter - yes, bloody clutter and I loathe clutter. What happened to me?! This is not me! Reading this thread makes me realise how far I have fallen. I feel dirty now.

I have got to grab the bull by the horns and sort my life out. Dc2 is due in May and I dread to think to what depths I will sink then if I don't drag myself out of this before then .

see i hate direct debits because I absolutely cannot remember what date is due out when and out of which account. I get quite panicky about checking my online banking so I dont do it. Then a direct debit bounces and I'm in a right mess.

So i either try and phone up and pay bills myself every month (doesnt work!) or have payment cards like tv liscence and water, gas electric (I still get behing)

So how do I do this?? I really need help with this

sheepgomeep I hate dd too! I have everything on payments cards or books. We had dd before and gas and electric bills and its what got us into debt. We never knew what was coming or going.
The thing that helped me, is now every Friday I go to my local PO and put £20 on gas, £10 electric, I figure out every week what needs to be paid. I pay the TV one week, water the next, and so on so it spreads it out a bit, iyswim.
Before I started doing this I was terrible with bill paying and money, but I don't ever want to be in the position we were in a year ago ever again, so I had to do something.

I would say, choose a day to check/pay bills etc, and write it down everywhere!! I have on my calendar what's due when and cross it off when its done. I have my calendar on my kitchen door so I can't help but see it. Once you do this for a few weeks you get used to it and get on top of things. DON'T put it off!!! You feel so much better when its done!

Sorry for the long post but this is the only thing I have actually managed to get on top of, and I'm rather proud of myself that I have found a system that works for me! :)

Now I have to find a system for everything else.....

My post was obviously too long and boring sheep! I keep a printout of when direct debits go out and how much, whioch I tick off when they're paid. Because I like to see things in my hands (visual, kinaesthetic!) I have typed up a table with all the info and printed it out. You can call your bank or access your account online and click on the direct debits/standing orders button to see when they go out and how much. Draw up a table/spreadsheet, whatever works for you.

and have all of them going out of one account so you don't get confused?

This thread has made my dh hate me!! He can sense when new systems are underfoot!

I see everyone has ignored my attempts to turn this into a stationery porn thread - does anyone have any links to the paper diary which will change my life? Despite loving my iPad etc I find I need pen and paper to make things actually happen!

sheep, I set up a separate account to use for dds and standing orders, just household ones, and then a standing order from dh current account for the correct amount each month. I haven't included the phone as this is variable and non-essential.
You really need to check your banking regularly. If it's bad it won't get any better unless you deal with it.

Being organised is definitely the lazy persons way forward as it's about efficiency.

Caz10, you need a filofax!

I am shocked at the fear of being early. Being 5 minutes early is the best thing EVER. It gives you a couple of minutes to sit, relax and compose yourself. If I'm too early to the school pick up, I sit in car,I have a quick glance at my diary. I have a tiny one, 10cm, palm size.
This works well because you can view a week at a time, and flip over to the next week, just to remind yourself, oh yes dentist next wednesday, must remember. Sometimes I only have one thing per week, sometimes i have one every day:dr, dentist, ds1 doctor, ds2's party invite, haircut, Mufti day, No beavers, Sue's 40th party, ds1's school disco etc etc.
When the newsletter comes out by e-mail from the school, I put the dates in my dairy, and on the family diary, in the dinning room, straight away. (I regularly check my diary to the family diary and make sure all things are on both.)I think that is the key, straight away. And any of my to do notes: and I only mean things that need to be done that week, phone BT, send claim form ds1, transfer money from a/c to a/c, sue 40th birthday card, etc etc, I write on a scrap, put it in the back of my diary and then cross them off. very satisfying and not overwhelming.
Don't try and do too much. Don't try and get school organised and clear out your loft all at the same time, one step at a time. Get the diary thing sorted first , whether tyou use your phone and its calendar function, or a one in your handbag, but have atleast ONE.

Caz, I have ordered a collins "home & work" diary. Haven't seen it yet but it looks good for anyone juggling work & home stuff.

Sorry, don't know how to link but it should come up on google.

Oh rhubarbgarden it's the same here. I think we might have reached the end of the line, though. Even DH was astonished when we discovered a plastic bag in the living room, the contents of which was "stuff." I was too to tell him it was utterly mixed stuff I had been trying to tidy up. Packing for our holiday at new year I was stomping about syaing I couldn't find my black beads. Turned out they were in this bag. I think we both know this isn't acceptable...

I think working out what makes you disorganized helps.

I was an incredibly disorganized, I'd forget my own telephone number! I was always late, forgetting about homework, forgetting that I was supposed to be somewhere. In my work life I've always been good at planning! A strength of mine seems to be making long term goals and been able to adjust all the work streams that need to happen on the fly. I can create nice images in my brain off all the things that need to be done and how the interact.

Where I fall down is more down is areas like my short term memory, people tell me things, or I agree to something, then it's gone! I need to write something down straight away, if my smart phone doesn't remind me of things I'd be lost. I also have my house organized so I know where everything is, there's a shelf where the kids book bags and notes go. A daily check throws up any undone home work or forms that haven't been signed.

My dp has the opposite problem to me, he can remember things like dates and phone numbers that people throw at him. Being able to adjust multiple plans on the fly because something has changed throw him!

If you have a dp make sure they're taking on responsibility for the thinking and planning also, and not just taking orders ;)

wordfactory focusing on the things that you are organised over...and then realising you have potential...

that is a brilliantly cheering thought.

I am chronically disorganised with three school age kids, one ASD and don't even work, although do lots of volunteering. Yet despite this, they can all read and write, hand their homework in, I can cook, drive and manage to travel quite often with three children without losing my tickets or sanity. Dd has passed her grade 1 violin. Ds1 got some A grades recently at school. I got through Xmas. I must be doing something organised.

Will ponder.

My parking Permit has run out, because I failed to apply for it in time, and my address book is a disaster, as is my filing system. House filthy. But, ONWARDS AND UPWARDS this year. This year I am concentrating on diary, as I think that is source of a lot of organisational problems here. Especially writing in weekly "regular" appts, which often get missed because I think I'll remember. Also too many "pie in the sky" lists are my downfall.

Oh lovely diaries thank you both!
here is a link for the Collins one if anyone is interested it does indeed look lovely! I also love that it is so optimistic - a space each day for "would be nice to achieve" and "Unexpected tasks completed"!!

I used to LOVE my filofax but started to find it too fiddly so it wasn't used much - I think as people have said above you need to know your style - I think a big whopping ring bound thing on my table would keep me engaged, whereas little things in my bag just disappear down in there.

Honeyandhaycorns could you post back and say how you find it? Would it be too big to stick in a handbag I wonder?