to ask how you become organised and together? Seriously how??

[inatrance]

This is a question for any of you who used to be disorganised/flaky and are now organised and sorted. I have been like this for so long and I drive myself and everyone around me crackers. I'm unbelievably forgetful, I am late a lot and I'm rubbish with finances. I'm so fed up of cringing because I'm so bloody rubbish and make stupid mistakes all the time!

I've got an 8mth DS and a 10yo DD and while I've always had disorganised tendencies, since I had DS, it's gone from bad to ridiculous and I feel like I am constantly trying to catch up with myself.

I'm self employed (which is for the best as even I'd have sacked me by now) and have somehow managed to run my businesses haphazardly over the last ten years without fucking up too massively. Well, not often anyway...

Well, no more, I've had enough. I am using the New Year to kick me up the arse and I need your help.

If you used to be crap and are now brilliant and incredibly organised, please, please tell me how you did it. What changed in your mind and where the hell did you start?

Haven't had chance to read whole thread so apologies if repeating advice but I find the following really helps...

I have a notepad for food and at the front of the notepad is a list of all the meals I can cook, along with a cook book/web page reference for the recipe if I don't know it off the top of my head. I add to it all the time if I see an idea I like. On a Thursday lunchtime I set aside 10 mins to plan the meals for the next week by picking from the 'meal list' and then write down the meal plan and shopping list for the week in the pad and do the online shopping in the evening.

I find having the pad and a list of meal ideas there in front of me stops me from pondering what to have for hours and then picking the same well worn food every week. Having a written meal plan and list also stops me from over spending, as does on line shopping.

Have to get up for work now but am a hyper-organised person so will think of other thing and come back! Good luck with it all.

I'm not a 'lists' person. I will write them, but I tend to ignore them. When faced with a list the next morning I will tend to thing "yeah yeah I will do those after x, y and z..."

When I was at work I used to do the brain dump of the day in my head on the way home. What happened that day, what was due for the next etc. If I remembered something ultra important I would phone my desk phone an leave myself a message "Do the accounts before Mr Person comes for his meeting, print out project plan before 9am" etc etc.

I would always get into work the next morning and think "oh I have voicemail" Every time.

Sometimes at work I would do the same on the home phone, until I moved in with DH and he thought I was a loon.

Changebags not a loony idea at all INSPIRED! I have my best ideas when out walking the dog, but invariably forget by the time I get home so was pondering getting a dictaphone. However I have my mobile with me so I can either make a note or phone my home voicemail.....BRILLIANT!

I made a list of all our favourite meals with the DD's over the weekend, so now have a 2 week menus plan & shopping list completed. I shall add to this list and alternate weeks as special offers/seasonal variations come in. A small step but I can't tell you how efficient it makes me feel

If you combine this thread with the "No-spend January" thread in the Credit Crunch topic, I think you have the perfect Getting Organised/Saving Money solutions!

Like Change & Bossy I send myself messages - either on my work voicemail, or more frequently I email myself. Thanks to iphone I can do this anywhere. I also use Calender and Reminders on phone & at work.

Need to reinstate a good working notebook.

Great thread - must pop over to Housekeeping too!

This is such a great thread as I am not organised but really want to be.

I know I waste my time but am on a mission to declutter and then I'll feel so much better. Also use Ocado for supermarket shops. Got a £19.99 annual pass for unlimited Tues-Thurs deliveries and am finding it miles better (and cheaper) than going to the supermarket where I amble and spend twice as much on stuff I don't need.

Going to diarise time to read this thread in total!

AIBU to get ridiculously excited whenever I see there are new posts on this thread? Am feeling 100% better about dealing with stuff since reading it, am geekily excited about starting new systems. It has coincided with me being on my last few months of mat leave, I am hoping it will mean when I get back to work and have childcare etc to juggle plus work I need to do from home, that things will be tidier here and meal planning etc will be up and running. Here's hoping!

Ps surely the solution to the box of choccies is just to eat them?!

Another tip I picked up recently -

Buy some denture cleaning tablets. Drop own down the loo before you go out in the morning. When you come in at the end of the day, flush and you will have a sparkling loo. Doesnt negate the need to clean it properly completely (doesn't clean lid etc) but gives you a clean loo daily/as often as you like wthout having to do anything. My loos get a 'deep clean' once a week (to be fair, there are only 3 of us, and 3 loos, and we are out 5 days a week, so they don't get that bad) and the denture cleaners do the rest inbetween.

Would second the anti-bac cleaning wipes in the loos/bathrooms. Whilst kids are in the bath/you are cleaning your teeth, you can wipe round.

I tried lists in notebooks, but ended up having to constantly re-write them. Now have a fab app on my iphone called errands. I can add tasks to it, with a due date (ie when I'll do it). If its something that needs to be done regularly, I can set it up to be on the list to recurr (sp?) weekly/monthly/yearly etc

If something is not done 1 day, it carries over so I can keep track of what still needs doing. It can also be set to beep at me every hour until I've done something if its urgent (eg paying credit card)
I put everything on it - walk dog/change sheets/clear inbox (box where all post goes that needs doing eg bills) book dentist etc.
And I love lookng back at the done list at the end of the day. when I wander where all my time went - I can look at a lovely list of compeletd things!
It was free, and as I always have my phone on me I can keep track of stuff.
I also meal plan with an app called meal board although dont use its shopping list function as it seemed to longwinded.
Do shopping lists on phone too (shopshop app) - getting the theme here?!

I used to use an organised mum diary with the tear out lists but it ws too bulky to carry around. One downside to using my phone for everything is that I dont really like the calendar layout, but do use the reminders to beep at me!

I agree with leQ - I'm really a lazy person - having lists/ vague systems means that I get more time to MN read books etc and it also means I feel more in control of everything and no longer stress about stuff thats not been done - I know that when it needs doing, it'll be on the list and I can then do it!

I also love this thread - my SIL thinks I'm a bit OCD with my lists but this thread makes me realise I'm normal!

Caz10 Eating the chocolates would have been the ideal (and my usual) solution, however all that were left were the bloody toffee pennies and toffee sticks, which I can't bear and DH loves.

fliss transfer the remaining sweets to a pretty bowl/ box that looks better on the piano until they're gone! Use the tin for cakes/ storing useful bits /kids lego or throw in the recycling!

Alternatively unwrap the toffees, warm gently until all melted & use as a lovely gloopy caramel/choccy sauce over ice-cream for the DC's!

The box is now in the sweet cupboard. It just the fact that DH had abandoned the box after I'd spent the previous two days bloody tidying and organising that was getting on my nerves. It wasn't even on the top of the piano, but on the actual keyboard bit. Anyway. Gone now.

Am putting off this afternoon's job, I don't really want to do it. I've got to put an insurance claim in for my bathroom having discovered the mother of all slow leaks at the weekend which appears to have soaked the floorboards (seemingly for rather a long time) and has stained part of the dining room ceiling, but where it's stained is behind an archway and in an alcove so it's not been noticed :(The bathroom lino is going to have to come up but I daren't take it up any more to see how bad it is until I've phoned the insurers. Having looked under the little bit of lino directly behind the loo where there's a join, the floorboard there at least appears to be completely fucked. I thought the yellowy marks elsewhere on the lino were just general wear and tear (it's a few years old and was once white) but now actually I think it's piddly water that's been seeping under the lino I've never made an insurance claim before.

Me too Caz!!

oooh, I love this thread, I can now add a list of tips to my various other lists in my 'housekeeping' notebook/file!

It's made me feel better too. I used to be organised - but that was before DD. And before the building work which has created more space but turned the whole house upside down and insider out. I have broken down in tears at least three times this year so far and told DH I can't take it any more, we need to move because I'm fed up of living in a shithole. To be fair, I am 33w pregnant, hyper-hormonal and finding it really difficult to pick a toddler's discarded stuff off the floor so I may be over-reacting a little...

I now realise I'm not quite as bad as I thought and maybe the house appears worse to me than others.

A couple of things that DO help me:

• Getting up before DD. I need to have had a shower before she wakes - otherwise what takes 15 mins takes an hour, as she insists on 'drying' me, 'helps' me dress by running away with clothes, etc.

• STORAGE. We have way too much stuff (in fact am about to do my post-Christmas/New Year trip to the charity shop...) and decent storage is the only saving grace. We splashed out on built-in cupboards last summer and they are worth every penny. Lots of boxes within them too (but plan properly first - I measured books, toys, etc before drawing up the design for the shelves and cupboards and giving it to the carpenter - lots of kiddy storage boxes are very similar sizes).

• Accessibility. DD has a sling bookcase in her bedroom. Not only can she see the books and take them out, but she can also put them back herself. She's also got a proper bookcase - we rotate the books. Downstairs she has a Krooom open-top box on castors which fits under the coffee table and her 'downstairs' books (noisy ones, activity ones, basically stuff she looks at by herself as opposed to story and quiet ones more suitable for bedtime) are in that - again, she can pull them out and, crucially, put them away by herself. Kitchen/shop type toys such as pretend food are in lined wicker baskets on a low shelf.

• Rules. We have a one-toy-at-a-time policy. DD knows this so well, she told MIL off for getting out several toys . Obviously this is open to interpretation - one toy is Happyland, for example, which is in two boxes and takes up the sitting room when out. But if she has that out she can't have Duplo or her railway as well. Also, she has to help put away. This is usually a game (who can put away fastest, bet you can't reach the bit under the sofa, can we find all the red bits first, etc). At the moment I'm not sure it's a lot faster than if I did it myself (though it's a lot easier on me!) but hopefully as she gets a bit older it'll become a habit and I'll be able to just tell her to tidy up. At least she knows that things go away when you've finished with them or at the end of the day.

• Games. DD has her own broom, dustpan and brush, mop and bucket, hoover, and so on. If I need to clean with her around, we do it together. I allocate her a patch of floor (usually in the hall!) and she 'cleans' that. I cut up cloths to make mini-dusters for her and we do it together. She especially likes feather dusters... and we dress up to do it. Silly hats, pinnies, anything really. Again, it's slower than if I'm on my own but otherwise I'd have to spend all my spare time doing it.

• Admin - use the computer as much as possible. I scan in documents, if we don't need the original (obviously mortgage/insurance/etc you want the original!) - but things that you want to keep in case they come in handy, or flyers with phone numbers, etc, can all be scanned and virtually filed. Do as much as possible online - all our bank statements, mobile phone, utility, home phone bills and others are paperless, so we download and save them to the appropriate file. Saves a lot of space.

Also use Excel and Word - I do spreadsheets to keep track of Christmas and birthday presents. We've got our address book in a Word labels format too, so each Christmas we check it quickly and update it if necessary (though changes are usually done as and when they happen) then print the labels for the cards. I use Outlook email and calendar on my laptop but sync it with gmail and work accounts and also my iPhone. With the calendar, if you put birthdays and anniversaries in as annually recurring appointments with 7-day reminders, you don't have to do anything again - you'll get a week's notice.

Think this is enough! And thanks for making me feel better about what I do manage! Now I'd better get off MN, take the junk unwanted presents to the charity shop and do some more cleaning...

When I first read this thread, I thought some of the more organised people on here were just plain weird and obsessive. It also made me think how terribly disorganised I am. I have been trying - and failing - to tidy up for 17 years.

However, when I thought about it, I actually have a whole load of systems in place to aid organisation: filing cabinet; Filofax with numerous lists - long term and short term, different sections for work, family, birthdays, diary, shopping list etc (lifesaver); Family planner calendar; online stuff; the occasional menu plan.

The trouble is, my - otherwise lovely - DH treats the whole house as a dumping ground for paperwork, he hoards crap from charity shops, keeps boxes and boxes of wires, plugs, and broken gadgets 'just in case it comes in handy', and he doesn't seem to have grasped the concept of tidying up after oneself or that items at the bottom of the stairs generally are there because they need to be upstairs. Added to this, one of my DC's is severely disabled and totally exhausting. All I do is seem to chase my tail and during the 'holidays' I honestly feel that all I do from 7am to 8pm is cook and tidy up, yet the house is still a fucking mess and full of clutter. I want to move and leave it all behind!!! I have tried to create storage for his paperwork, but he still just 'files' it all on the kitchen work surfaces.

How do you deal with other people's crap without conflict?

Silently.

I put stuff in boxes and store it, with labels on the boxes ('stuff from under the bed', 'stuff from the bottom of the closet'). Mostly they never notice. I say nothing.

Someone who hoards like that usually has some sort of loss or anxiety issue and should be seen by a therapist.

Don't get me wrong, he wouldn't fit into the diagnostic criteria for hoarding as a mental health problem. He's just chaotic. It has occured to me to 'disappear' some of his plugs/clothes etc., but he always knows what he's got!!

One option would be to group stuff together for him (clothes that no longer fit, plugs, wires) and ask 'Do you still want this or shall I free cycle/charity shop it for you?'. If he still wants it, ask him nicely to put it away. The mere thought of sorting everything out can put people off decluttering, so if you do half the job for him, you may get some space back!
If this doesn't work, you may have to go down the conflict route!

He gets very resistant and annoyed if I suggest he chucks anything and starts pointing out my - lesser - clutter as a sort of tit for tat approach. Think I'll just sort my own stuff out and find boxes for his, plus slowly remove and destroy stuff that's been there for years

Has he got a shed? Might be worth investing in one then you can move stuff out of the house & he can clutter to his hearts content!
Or nominate an area in the garage/utility room?

Recycle any jam /mayo /pickle jars and donate them to him for his "bits" then if you find stray "bits" you can at least bung them somewhere!

This thread is great. I'm probably a fairly naturally organised person but there are some fabulous tips on this thread. Love the idea of sorting clothes into outfits as I struggle every morning even though in principle they are all in complementary colours. You've also all motivated me to get the house a bit better under control too.

I start by being organised at work and then try to apply it at home, with varying degrees of success. I read "Getting Things Done" years ago and while some of it was a bit much these are the key things I took away from it:

1. If you have an action that will take less than a couple of minutes to do just do it straight away. Great for procrastinators like myself.
2. Break down the things you need to do into manageable chunks. So as my current priority is to sort out my wardrobes and clothes I've got on my list to go through clothes in wardrobe 1 (keep, charity shop, chuck), ditto wardrobe 2, sort into work and home clothes, organise work clothes by outfit, etc.
3. Clump tasks by location, so if you've picked up the phone to call the bank you can also call the garage, etc. while you're in the mood.

We have started using a family diary at home but I do like my technology. For my action/to do lists I use DGT GTD on my Android phone and tablet which I sync with my work computer. I've started using Chore Checklist since the recommendation here and it looks promising - I like keeping the chores separate from my more "serious" to dos.

Hope these tips help - I'm off to catch up with today's new posts.

Hi 28 days for a habit...according to fly lady.

Im very organised, been working on decluttering and establishin daily routines for a while. It has taken me a whole year to get to where i am but its set in stone now and i don't resent doing the chores.
Life is way easier if you do little and often and much much less stressful.

This year im working on my diary and the zone cleaning of my house ( fly lady)
I also do present and card boxes but some of you ladies on here are amazing, im stealing all the best tips.
Huge that you, it is great to share tips, we all have hard enough lives! Also so nice to see such a good natured AIBU!

four thousand holes,thanx for such useful tips n others who have shared theirs,i just wanted to add one as i realize smtimes babies get in the way of carrying out the chores when they demand ur contant attention when they r up n we want to do that very thing in that time so i take the bouncer with me to the kitchen n the baby gets in and she enjoys watching me doing dishes n stuff n i can even talk with her n enjoy her company