to ask how you become organised and together? Seriously how??

[inatrance]

This is a question for any of you who used to be disorganised/flaky and are now organised and sorted. I have been like this for so long and I drive myself and everyone around me crackers. I'm unbelievably forgetful, I am late a lot and I'm rubbish with finances. I'm so fed up of cringing because I'm so bloody rubbish and make stupid mistakes all the time!

I've got an 8mth DS and a 10yo DD and while I've always had disorganised tendencies, since I had DS, it's gone from bad to ridiculous and I feel like I am constantly trying to catch up with myself.

I'm self employed (which is for the best as even I'd have sacked me by now) and have somehow managed to run my businesses haphazardly over the last ten years without fucking up too massively. Well, not often anyway...

Well, no more, I've had enough. I am using the New Year to kick me up the arse and I need your help.

If you used to be crap and are now brilliant and incredibly organised, please, please tell me how you did it. What changed in your mind and where the hell did you start?

Scarlett I have one of those over the door hooks things on the inside of my wardrobe door which is where I hang anything that has been worn but isn't yet ready for washing. It doesn't take up space and I can see stuff that has been worn once but has a few more hours in it.

My to do list is on my phone which is always with me so I use that. If I don't have that with me I visualise myself going out of my door and saying "oh I've forgotten to do [whatever it is]". Bonkers but it works! A small pack of post it notes and a pen stored somewhere upstairs might be useful for you. If you think of something write it on a post it note, put it on the end of the stairs and pick it up on your way down.

I have a big wardrobe in my guest room which is where lots of rarely used things live. I have a contents list just inside it. It has proved to be a lifesaver in the past as it saves rummaging. I also have two separate lofts in my house and I have a list in the kitchen of what is in each loft so I always know where the spare car seat is or the Christmas lights are. I also have a list of spices inside the spice cupboard so I can see quickly if I have what I need for a recipe.

I've got a 'place' for my christmas stuff too. and also a wrapping paper drawer, with paper, tags, ribbons, scissors, sellotape, gold/silver pens. ds once had a very posh gf who lived in a vast house and they had a present wrapping room. I make do with a drawer. As fliss says, make a note of it on your calendar.

while i'm on christmas, I write the names of my friends' kids in my address book alongside their details so that I don't send cards to Doreen, Bill and 'family'. Get the correct spelling from the christmas cards they send you.

Why don't you have enough wardrobe space Scarlett? Do you have a small wardrobe or too much stuff?

I keep a post-it block upstairs and I also never wear anything without pockets somewhere about my person

There are so many great ideas here thank you.

The most organised thing I do is write everyone's birthday and anniversary cards once a year. I get my address book last year's diary (with everyone's dates in them) and my card colection and write them all. Then I address them and put the short date on the space where the stamp will go. It is surprising how little time it lacks compared to how much of my life it used to feel like. These days i even have time to get my children to sign their own names on some of the cards to family which I never did before.

when I was in the UK i kept them altogether in a box and could just get them out when the date came up on the calendar. I had time to write an up to date message before posting them.

Now i am in NZ I still do it but my sister takes them home with her on her annual visit and my parents post them for me.

A couple of years ago I spent quite a lot of money with Phoenix cards. I got a ones with specific people in mind, some more generic birthday ones, get well and sympathy ones.
It has made me much happier, it used to be something I really stressed about.

I also always write my Christmas cards in the October school holidays but I'm a teacher so that is easier for me than a lot of people.

I swing between being mega organised and colour coded to being completely disorganised and living in chaos.

I colour code my kids as somebody has previously suggested. I have three boys and they have been allocated red, blue & yellow. They all have towels, clothes hangers and blankets in those colours. I have had their book bags embroidered with their names and the font of their name tapes are all in these colours. Their clean washing goes in their colour flexi tubs...I could go on forever there are so many things you can buy in different colours.

It definately helps to see at a glance what belongs to which child and they know their colours!

Another thing I did was bought a plastic concertina file which is divided into 12 sections which I labelled with the months of the year. In January I buy all my cards for the year and put them in the right month section ready to write out and send.

I recently bought an iphone and I have synched ?sp to my outlook calendar. As soon as I empty out book bags I copy any dates from their school newsletters to the calendar and have all birthdays, school holidays etc on it.

The NHS has a series of quality improvement schemes and one of the modules in it talks about making sure things are easy to see and everything should have a place. The key to this is labelling and colour coding.

I recently started to print and laminate labels with pictures and words on them for the kids toy storage. They have a large wooden shelving unit which you can use plastic boxes with. Each box now has a label on the front so the boys know where all their toys go. I'm not saying they do it very well but it definately helps!

My house is an absolute tip at the moment but we are slowly getting there after 6 years of having babies and breastfeeding. Myself and DH both work fulltime and it is a struggle to keep on top of everything.

Can I offer as an alternative to scrapbooks for those of us too lazy to get out a glue stick the idea of buying an extra school book bag for each dc and putting children's certificates, favourite pictures, etc in that.

Im finishing my phd so when I have a deadline I'm realistic about how many days I've got to work on writing. So rather than say 'it's not due in for another two weeks, I've got ages' - I'll use my calendar to work out exactly how much time I can realistically dedicate during those two weeks, so days I'm in work and days I have my ds at home get excluded, in the end I might just have a few days left, which stops me from putting it off until the last minute. Another thing I have learnt recently which has made a massive difference, is that rather than say 'I can't write today because I need a whole day or half a day to get into it' while that would be ideal I have started using whatever time I can find, twenty minutes here and there all adds up.

Horopu DH's Nan did a similar thing with cards - she had months worth prepared in advance, with her £5 gift inside.

She died in August :( but up until November everyone who had a birthday or anniversary in the intervening months had one more card from her :)

For those that want a paper diary, I've just got one of these Organised Mum Lifebooks; www.organised-mum.co.uk/Life-Book-Diary-p-4.html.
They're out of stock on the website but The Works shops are selling them for £4.99. As well as the diary bit, there are monthly planners, holiday planners, and reminder stickers for important events (birthdays, MOTs, insurance...).

I also have one of those. Deja vu moment...

someone said something very important a few posts ago about its more important to enjoy life and our kids than being super organised.

i think we super organised people need to remember that.

for example, this morning i have hung out washing to dry on radiators and a clothes horse, emptied the dishwasher, stripped my bed and its in the wash, made the other beds/opened blinds etc, dropped 2 of the kids off at school, tidied away breakfast and got myself washed and dressed and i think thats plenty for now.

i didnt go part time at work for my daughter to sit on the couch all day while i clean and organise the house.

so now, im going to take her out to do the weekly food shop (she actually enjoys it ) and then well stop at the cafe for a drink. then we'll come home for lunch and she can watch a cartoon or play with her toys while i clean the bathrooms.
and then we'll do a jigsaw or play dough together at the kitchen table before its time for the next phase of the day - collecting the boys from school, doing the homework, making dinner.....aarrgghh!!!

This is a really fascinating strand! I used too be sooo organised and then I had children and the woollyness in my head never quite lifted. For the last three years though I have been using Organised Mum diaries which are great (www.organisedmum.co.uk). They also do wallplanners which a lot of people swear by espesh if they have lots of kids - there's space on each week to write down each child's activities. But I write EVERYTHING in the diary - down the sides are tear-out shopping lists and to do lists. Then I CHECK IT EVERY DAY WITHOUT FAIL. And then forget to do half the things... but it's a start!

Maybe there's a point though that being organised actually leaves you more time to relax enjoy life, and means you're more likely to fit in activities with the children - rather than rushing around in a flap and a panic frantically trying to stay on top of everything.

Obviously it's possible to go too far to either extreme, getting too obsessive about routine and perfection (to the point where it's causing you more stress than it's preventing) is not good.

I second that Ephiny. having gone from my mostly-organised state to chaos in 4 weeks, due to morning sickness, LIFE IS EASIER ORGANISED! and the kids are happier I think.

I know some people who are slaves to their systems. I'm not but my system allows me to be flexible so if it's sunny (ha ha I live near the Lake District) I can take the children to the park. Because I am organised I can take them out for most days in the holidays. I plan things in to get really up to date so a week or two of doing the minimum doesn't impact us too much.

I completely concur with whoever it was who said that being organised allows you to be lazy. I read loads of books and go out two nights a week. My systems enable that to happen.

I also like to think that I'm passing on essential life skills to the children. They already understand the need to be organised and to keep tabs on their stuff.

One of my problems is I absolutely hate routine. so my organisation is not based on routines, it has taken a while (decades) to have non-routine routines that work for me, and is a lot easier now the DC are young adults.

lists and routines.
Never say - oooh I must remember to do that - write it down on a master list with a little tick box on it so you know when you have done it. Never on odd bits of paper. I also email myself sometimes if I cant get near a list!
Have a routine for when you must do certain things. Always do them at the beginning of every day so the boring stuff is out of the way.
Have a safe haven where you can file stuff neatly and always know where it is - very cathartic!
good luck!

That's why I have "empty it when it's full" things rather than "do it every Tuesday" things.

Have just been to WH Smith and bought 2 x 12 pocket expanding filing thingies to reorganise our hideous filing catastrophe tomorrow. Also started chucking loads of clutter out of the loft that was taking up unnecessary space

Table booked for NCT sale in March - anything we don't sell is going to the family support network at church.

We have loads of "stuff" in a very small house and I am determined to throw more of it away this month because we don't need it and half the time I forget what we have

DEcluttering is essential. Less stuff = less stuff to organise.

Crotch, I think of that as 'protocols'.

I'm trying to get into the habit of preparing ahead. So for instance, last night I made sure all bags were ready, DS water bottle was clean and accessible, all our clothes were ready etc. and it made everything much easier this morning. But DS got lunch all over his school jumper as I still haven't got into the habit of getting him changed when he gets in from school.
I've noted that today, and putting civvies ready for when we get in will be part of the prepping tomorrow.

I think one thing to realise is that no-one is perfect at organising, same as anything else.

I found this book very useful:

www.amazon.com/Getting-Things-Done-Stress-Free-Productivity/dp/0142000280/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1326117395&sr=8-1

It gets a bit detailed and inflexible for me at times, but is very good at giving advice on how to set up systems to help you get organised and stay organised.

one last tip on the physical organisation front: get everything off the floor. Shelves, cupboards, whatever, but get it off the floor. Obviously, you can't get the sofa off the floor but you get my drift.

Now then, I may be Very Good at organising what I can see, but I'm absolutely useless at planning ahead! re what I can't see. re my life

Anyone?

springy a mahoosive diary is my only salvation on that front.

I have been using my dairy to make a to-do list for the week since reading this thread & it is working! If I can get that part of my life a bit more organised then maybe I'll feel like tackling the other piles of crap problem areas of the house.

My main problem is motivation & they ain't invented a chart/sticky/label/fancy title that help that yet!

Might be easier when my physical health improves as I've NO blardy energy at the moment.