To be frustrated and embarrased by husband's facebook photos.

[Mollydoggerson]

My mother was visiting, we looked up husband's profile on facebook so I could show her some pics of the kids.

I was flicking through his photos and it became embarrassing as there are many photos of him out with a group of work friends, various different nights. In several of those he has his arm around one particular girl.

She is fun but also an attention seeker, it is always the xxJanexx show, so I have tired of her. I have stopped going on these nights out as we have two small kids and I don't find them worth the hassle of arranging babysitters etc. Husband always has to be the one hanging off people. I never noticed this pattern until I was sitting there with my mother flicking through them. If a stranger was flicking through them it would look like she was his girlfriend.

I'm not one bit suspicious, but I am irritated that it has to be my stupid husband hanging off this attention seeking girl. Why doesn't he have more decorum?

Have you asked him?

Nope don't want to cause an upset right now. I don't want to be percieved as the jealous wife either. I will leave it until I've mulled it over a bit.

I would say that your mother found it a bit odd!

I'm sure she did, I just flicked out of that folder and went to the one I knew there was photos of the kids in. But then when she left I rechecked and it looks wrong.

He is such a bloody eegit at times.

It is a bit embarrassing? But as you say she is an attention seeker, maybe your H doesn't see through that and is ltattered by the attention.
Sadly (because of my own experience of DH having an affair with an attention seeking colleague) I would be wary.

Yes, maybe eejitty but other men can fend off these needy types (as i said to my DH) so he needs to distance himself from her, maybe?

When you mention it to him, use examples of other 'less friendly' married colleagues and say '' why isn't she hanging on to such and such'' ?

Just cut and pasted my orig message above and sent it to him on facebook, he came in and said he was sorry and had never noticed and will do what he can about it.

I 'm glad Molly, bet it was nothing to him but I wouldn't be so sure about Ms.Attention-to-me !

Have I got this correct?

You are the babysitter whilst your husband goes out flirting with other women and has the audacity to post them on Facebook?

He's not very sensitive for starters. How would he feel if he was the one stuck at home with the children whilst you went out and enjoyed yourself with your arms round other men waists and being snapped?

I would feel hurt in your shoes, that he can be so insensitive. My husband and I go out together or not at all. Of course, for work dinners he goes out without me and pictures are uploaded on Facebook (with other women) but my husband is not physically touching them and vica-versa. Maybe it's more about respecting personally space and boundaries.

Anyway, that's my 2 pence worth!

You've got it flyingstart. Pretty crappy alright.

We got into that trap of me staying in-him going out when ours were young. I wasn't overally keen on his colleagues either , difficult to bond with them, similar ages to us but without kids and mostly single. I 'thought' I didn't mind at the time However, with hindsight, I realise it contributed to problems that later threathened our marriage.I think he purposely sought these collegues out because unconsciously he felt tied down. As the kids got older and we had more freedom , we were stuck in a pattern of going out separately and had really grown apart.
Perhaps, I am overally projecting here, OP?
But do try and go out together on a regular basis , even if it means just meeting for a quick coffee

As someone else pointed out, it may be worthwhile to point out to your husband that most husband/wives tend not to put themselves in situations which can be misconstrued or misinterpreted. They avoid others who don't seem to appreciate the difference between a casual touch for example, a kiss on the cheek (like some French people do to say hello/goodbye) or a handshake and a full body to body contact.

Thanks Clara Sage, I am the cliche mother at the moment, have some weight on, always tired, not interested in going out. Children are now 3 1/2 and 2 1/2.

My husband is very attentive to both the children and I, just a bit clueless at times.

I need to go out at night more, just to reassert my entitlement to some form of a social life.

I work fulltime too, so I prefer to spend my free time with the kids. I think it's time to reassess our attitude towards socialising.

I haven't got children to my DP and mine are teenagers, so don't need to be babysat.

Whether you go out without each other is a personal decision and must be one that suits the pair of you. We do if one of us doesn't fancy going out and the other does.

In terms of having arms round other people, it depends on your personality, both me and my DP are flirty, even if family are around, neither of us disrespect the other or would stray.

It depends on whether his behaviour bothers you and why.

Thanks FlyingStart, I have actually cut and pasted your comments and sent them to him too, he knows I go on these sites. It might seem like an odd thing to do, but it reaffirms that I am not over reacting or being a killjoy, that this is how normal people think and behave.