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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To charge my guests for their dinner

121 replies

OhDeeeeeryMe · 01/01/2012 16:32

Name change as some of you may recognise me..

My husband lost his job recently and money has been tight. Today I invited my friends for dinner and they texted at the last minute to say that their babysitter could not make it and they would be coming with their SIX children in tow...

So anyway, would I be unreasonable to charge them £2 per guest for their dinner? I think this is reasonable?

OP posts:

RealityNeedsANamechange · 01/01/2012 17:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thinkofthemoney · 01/01/2012 17:52

I'm dying to know what happened! And Rhubarb I'm shocked at your friend- what did you do?

PercyFilth · 01/01/2012 17:53

Are you sure that they haven't brought food, or otherwise catered for the kids? They might turn up with the kids already fed, having stopped at a chippy or McDs en route.

Mominatrix · 01/01/2012 17:55

I could not charge guests, but they definitely would be receiving reduced hospitality and would not be getting another invite.

For the kids, pasta aglio olio would be cheap and easy russle up.

TheMonster · 01/01/2012 17:56

If six extra guests turned up, most people wouldn't have the extra food. Just don't have it out for them.

Xmasbaby11 · 01/01/2012 18:01

I would ask if they could bring food for kids since it's last minute. They should have something in since they would have planned to feed the kids at home. I would personally never charge friends for food.

Either that or suggest another day. Who on earth has 6 kids???

WhereYouLeftIt · 01/01/2012 18:02

It's just possible that the babysitter was family that lives between them and the OP, and they didn't find out until they drove there that the babysitter's house had burned down . BUT - they then TEXTED? Not called, texted, to inform OP they'd be bringing their 6 kids with them.

I'm guessing that they've long since arrived at OP's (please, pretty please OP, update us when they have gone) but I would have gone with texting them back that they'd have to be bringing supplies with them for their children as I did not have anything in the house, was going food shopping tomorrow.

I wouldn't charge them, but I'd be damned if I'd cater to them either given their behaviour.

Rhubarbgarden · 01/01/2012 18:02

Oh, I just paid and decided on the spot I wouldn't be visiting again! She's a good friend, just rather mercenary! We go back a long way.

I want to know how the OP's getting on.

maypole1 · 01/01/2012 18:08

YABU why on earth are you having them to dinner them

If moneys a bit tight I will invite people or tea, cake and a chat

Pandemoniaa · 01/01/2012 18:10

I'd struggle to feed six extra guests without adequate notice. Not because of the cost but because there simply wouldn't be enough grub to stretch round without going down the beans on toast route. Also, and much as I dislike the word, the dynamics of the evening are going to be rather skewed. What are the six children supposed to do while the adults attempt to have dinner? Updates please!

Of charging guests, I'm reminded of a former friend who was fulsome with her invitations to dinner but at the end of the meal would ask for a financial contribution. Usually £5 per adult and £2.50 per child even if, as was the case, I'd brought a 3 month old exclusively breast fed baby. Now if we'd eaten out at a restaurant, of course everyone would have split the bill but these were home-cooked meals and she justified asking for everyone to cough up because "it wasn't good for people to think they could eat for free".

Which was pretty fucking ironic given that she lived on the interest from a massive trust fund set up by her grandparents. The result being that she'd never paid, out of her own pocket, for anything. Her (very nice) houses were bought, in cash, by the trustees who also paid her an eye-wateringly large allowance. So if anyone knew about getting things for free, it was her. After 3 such incidents we became unavailable.

HattiFattner · 01/01/2012 18:11

do people travel 2 hours to a dinner party??? On new years day?

FanjoForTheReindeerJumper · 01/01/2012 18:13

She clearly has enough food but just wants to charge for it though

fivegomadindorset · 01/01/2012 18:13

I am slightly shocked that people will drive a four hour round trip for supper. Your cooking must be excellent OP.

WhereYouLeftIt · 01/01/2012 18:14

Maypole1, the guests stay a two hour drive away from the OP, not really the sort of distance anyone travels for tea and cake, more the sort of distance where the host offers a meal and perhaps a bed for the night.

Oh no, you're not having to have them all stay as well OP?

SiamoNellaMerda · 01/01/2012 18:14

I'm slightly shocked at all the saps believing this nonsense!

FanjoForTheReindeerJumper · 01/01/2012 18:17

Well there have been a few threads recently with people being critical and/or tight about their friends you see

dandelionss · 01/01/2012 18:19

maypole1 · 01/01/2012 18:20

I just think its a bit off to charge for dinner

If you can't afford to feed somone you. Really should think about wether you should have them round at all

Stick to Skype op it's free and no one has to make anyone dinner

fuzzpig · 01/01/2012 18:20

I don't think 2hrs is that strange - if you hardly ever see your friends it's worth it!

That said I hope this is a wind up as I hate to think of anyone being rude enough to only tell the host they are bringing 6 extra mouths guests 45 mins before the party!

gettingeasier · 01/01/2012 18:23

Hope your drive fits a mini bus OP - 8 passengers ???

Think this is a wind up wtf has 6 kids and a social life

tooearlymustdache · 01/01/2012 18:24

nice one

bakingaddict · 01/01/2012 18:26

I think everybody is being a bit harsh on the people with the kids....
maybe they thought that you were friends and would understand their situation instead of blabbing about it on mumsnet and threatning to charge. Maybe, maybe they have brought some stuff for you but who charges friends and their kids if you invite them over for dinner, bloody hell what's the world coming too
Why would you invite them anyway without the kids...it's difficult to get a babysitter with 1 kid let alone 6. Maybe they genuinely wanted to see you, pity them i'd get new friends if I was this couple

BastedTurkey · 01/01/2012 18:27

You can't charge OP but I'm at your friends turning up with additional uninvited guests without a phone call first

pigletmania · 01/01/2012 18:35

Yes you would be very U, you could text back and say not to worry you will do it another day, or ask them to bring something for their kids as you do not have enough.

pigletmania · 01/01/2012 18:39

You should just give them what you have cooked, tell them that you have to make it stretch, or tell them to pick up something for their kids along the way as you have not got enough, and shops are not open. They are cheeky, but you are being U to charge, I would rather tell them to forget it than beg for money.

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