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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get fed up with DH falling asleep in the chair?

24 replies

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 01/01/2012 00:13

Every fecking night?

He eats dinner, has a shower, and just falls asleep, leaving me to put the DCs to bed and do everything else every night. I get fed up with sitting there whilst he snores away next to me. He even did it tonight. Asleep at 8pm on New Year's Eve. When he's not asleep all he does is moan about how tired he is.

Funnily enough he's not too tired to go out on blokes nights out though!

OP posts:
Ilovegeorgeclooney · 01/01/2012 00:17

I'd be worried about his health at first, when proven OK then get stroppy, thyroid, diabetes all these conditions cause extreme tiredness. NYR - get him to the GP.

BandOMothers · 01/01/2012 00:22

WHat job does he do? How old is he? Is he overweight?

BandOMothers · 01/01/2012 00:25

Oh....and Happy New Year!

Original poster
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 01/01/2012 00:28

IloveGeorgeClooney, that's a good point.

BandOMothers, he's 30, doesn't do a particularly physical job, and he's a little overweight but not a lot. Happy New Year to you too :)

OP posts:
NannyPlumIsMyMum · 01/01/2012 00:35

hexagonal my DH is the same .
It is driving me berserk .
He did it all over christmas and I was quite poorly and lonely .
I still haven't forgiven himSad.

Ilovegeorgeclooney · 01/01/2012 00:38

I would really get him checked out. Although a lot older my DH (53) was suddenly very tired this time last year, he died unexpectedly on 23/01/11. I still feel guilty I didn't force him to his GP, he was one himself, instead I thought he was just overworking. Take care and Happy New Year.

Original poster
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 01/01/2012 00:40

Oh no GeorgeClooney, I am so so sorry to hear about your husband :-( How awful. Thinking of you

NannyPlumIsMyMum (Love the username!!), it's annoying isn't it?

OP posts:
missingmumxox · 01/01/2012 00:41

Happy New Year, My hubby a few years older is doing the same, after the festivities, he is going to the Doc, as I suspect diabetes, and you may think why can he go out on the raze ok? well because he is falling asleep after meals, he goes out and is fine? because alcohol lowers blood sugars.
for years diabetics got used to this wheeze and drank heavily the night before a blood check at the doctors, as they would be low, big star, now the NHS have a 3 month measure so forget that :)

glammanana · 01/01/2012 00:41

To be honest having a non physical job can be just as tiring sometimes is he bored with his job or his work collegues,can you not send him out for walk with DCs before he sits down for the night or is it too late for that,sounds like he is on road to couch potato land if you don't put your foot down,any chance of your family babysitting for a night or two and you both take up some excercise or salsa dancing (just a thought) don't laugh, or get him to doc's for medical as suggested.best wishes for New Year

BandOMothers · 01/01/2012 00:42

Could he be depressed?

ISayHolmes · 01/01/2012 00:42

He may be getting a lot of sleep, but that doesn't mean the quality is any good, or he's entering the stage(?) that revitalizes you. I'd go to the GP and see what they say. A relative of mine uses an CPAP machine at night and says it's changed his life.

homealone1 · 01/01/2012 00:45

george clooney - im very sorry for your sad loss. must be a difficult time for you at new year

A1980 · 01/01/2012 00:57

When he's not asleep all he does is moan about how tired he is.

Instead of moaning about him, suggest he goes to his GP. He sounds ill but instead you're moaning about yourself.

Original poster
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 01/01/2012 01:29

A1980, I don't think I've seen a post from you where you're not being abrupt, or downright rude. You seem delightful

OP posts:
tinkertitonk · 01/01/2012 01:58

What has A1980's tone got to do with it? Suggesting that your DH go to his GP is excellent advice. Oh, I see, you're only paying attention to the remarks about you. Point proved.

LineRunner · 01/01/2012 02:16

The problem is about two people. One of them came and posted on here. It is AIBU so fair enough, a little frisson is to be expected.

But I would give the OP a break. It does sound grim.

And yes I do agree that a GP check-up sounds like a bloody good idea, although it would be better if your OP managed to come up with this idea independently.

xyfactor · 01/01/2012 04:36

Good point A1980.
Ilovegeorgeclooney nailed it, convince him that he needs to have a check up at the doctors.

Original poster
HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 01/01/2012 07:59

tinkertitonk, A1980's tone was unnecessary, and come to think of it yours was too. There are ways of making a point without seeming catty.

Thank you to those of you that have offered constructive advice without being rude.

OP posts:
AlpinePony · 01/01/2012 08:10

My husband has been a horror for this, although in his defence he's up at 4am some mornings for work... But then if you stay up until midnight of course you'll feel tired.

Approx. 8 weeks ago one of his colleagues had a heart attack, he says it's not related but he's totally turned his lifestyle around (food/gym/running) and one of the more pleasant side-effects has been a boost in his energy.

I very much understand your frustration, I have a toddler and I'm heavily pregnant, I get tired too!

Inertia · 01/01/2012 12:10

Georgeclooney - so sorry for your loss.

Hexagonal - I think YANBU in wanting to change things. If your DH is ill he needs medical attention. If not, he needs to start helping out with the jobs at home and then going to bed. I'd be waking him to help with bedtime.

dampanddrizzly · 01/01/2012 13:01

maybe he is bored to buggery with you being on mn while he is at home

maybe he is just bored to buggery

A1980 · 01/01/2012 13:19

I'm in good company then hexagonalqueen. Most people on this site are so very rude, nitpicking and down right nasty, that I think most of my posts are tame in comparison to others.

When MOTHERS on this site frequently start threads to bitch about how much they hate everybody elses children other than their own and make really cruel comments about other peoples children, you have the nerve to say I'm rude?! When I read post from most of the delightful mothers on here, I actually feel sorry for their children most of the time!

The OP's husband sounds like he has a real problem. He is exhausted all the time and can't stay awake beyond 8pm. That is not normal. But the OP on the other hand comes on here to bitch about it and complain that she's left to sit alone at night.... well poor little her! Never mind that husband could have anything under the sun wrong with him.

I'm not consoling her I;m giving her my honest advice and if you find my tone abrupt, I really don't fucking care. say that to the 99% of other posters on here who are far ruder than me.

Happy New Year too Grin

A1980 · 01/01/2012 13:25

Oh I've just realised you are the OP hexagonal, in that case the sympathy I feel for your family is great.

You sound a delgihtful wife. When i developed tiredness as you have described in your husband, my GP put me through a battery of tests and actaully found something wrong.

Instead of complaining, help your husband out and get him to the GP.

I can't wait to see your response to dampanddrizzly who is far ruder than me Grin

mrsjay · 01/01/2012 13:31

could your husband be depressed or stuck in his dinner shower sleep rut , ask him how he is feeling and maybe suggest he helps you put the C to bed before he naps , sometimes depression can make you tired and stress too , not fair though on you him and theC though ,

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