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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas card minus a name

14 replies

goodasgold · 30/12/2011 21:20

I received a very welcome Christmas card from my sister today. Signed from her and her children, but no DH's name. I know he doesn't think highly of me, my dh thinks this is going too far. I don't care too much, should I? And should I say anything?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 30/12/2011 21:22

Say what?

I know it's not very nice but you can't force someone to add their wishes to a card if they don't want to.

At least your Dsis knows her own mind and sent one from her Smile

mrsmaltesers · 30/12/2011 21:23

At least your bil is not two faced.
I wuldnt sign a card to my mil, fwiw. Nor would i expect my dh to sign a card to my dad unless he was aroud at the time of writing (unlikely).

As brigitte nelson said so eloquently, and incessantly, in celebrity big brother "it is what it is"

Original poster
goodasgold · 30/12/2011 21:32

I think that my dh is making too much of a fuss about it. But I do think if Dave said, 'don't you dare put my name in your sister's card' that it is shit for my sister.

Yes I was so happy to get a card from my sister, I wasn't expecting it and she said I was lucky to get one.

OP posts:
anniebear · 30/12/2011 21:33

Arrrh how sad for you :(

Original poster
goodasgold · 30/12/2011 21:39

I would sign a card in the way that makes the recipients happy, so I don't have a great relationship with big dave, but I would never exclude him, what's the point of sending a card just so the recipient knows that somewhere, out there, somebody hopes they don't have a good Christmas. My dh is really annoyed that I didn't bring it up with my sister, but when I spoke to her it just went out of the window.

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AgentZigzag · 30/12/2011 21:39

He either must have very strong reasons for not liking you, or have the maturity of a five year old, to not even want his name associated with something that's going to you.

A christmas card is just nodding at a person at christmas not a contract that binds you to them forever and ever and ever.

He's coming across as a bit of a drama queen.

anniebear · 30/12/2011 21:40

I wouldnt have even mentioned it if it was me writing the card and just put all our names on without even telling DH...but obviously this isnt as straight forward x

squeakytoy · 30/12/2011 21:42

He probably doesnt even know. She knows you both dislike each other, so she left his name off. No big deal.

MabelLucyAttwell · 30/12/2011 21:42

It depends on when you last heard anything from her. Don't see it as a rebuff or stand off necessarily. I lost my DH late last year and couldn't send 2010 Christmas cards with just my name on so didn't send any. Now I am ready so my cards just say 'Love from Mabel', showing others that DH is not there. Could that be the case in your situation?

Original poster
goodasgold · 30/12/2011 21:56

I'm not sure, he sent my mum a pretty abusive email last month, I got a mention in it, for being a lousy sister. He was not being reasonable to my mum. My mum didn't want to forward it to me, she said he's not kind about you. I was worried, nobody likes having their faults draggged up, but the fault he ascribed to me is not my fault, so I couldn't take offence at his email.

I would have put all our names too. God knows what their one to my dad with the hated stepmother would be.... to dad and children...from daughter and children.

I hardly have spoken to this man, when I have I have made polite small talk, I don't know why he seems to hate me so much.

OP posts:
TararaBOOMdeay · 30/12/2011 22:02

Any chance they've split up?

Is the card signed by each individual separately, so it's most likely he wasn't around to sign or was just forgotten?
Or written entirely by one person, in which case I'd read it that your sister is either very scatty or on the brink of divorce and it's a Freudian slip Xmas Grin

If you don't care too much, why should you think you should care? It's just a Christmas card (and a late one at that!)

Original poster
goodasgold · 30/12/2011 22:03

According to my mum, his reasons for not liking us is that my dh has got a relatively, not brilliant, but relatively good job.

OP posts:
Original poster
goodasgold · 30/12/2011 22:12

That's what my dh said, they've split up. They haven't. My sister is scatty, and adorable and lots of other things and that is why I was happy to get a card at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
goodasgold · 30/12/2011 22:17

Frankly I don't care if big dave wishes me a happy christmas. I care that my sister could die in the next year and he won't let my mum or me help him with the children. I don't care what he thinks of me, I care that he might prevent me helping my sister's children if she dies.

Sorry this sounds like AIBU by stealth.

Flame me!

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