To have a break

[laluna]

Opportunity has arisen for me to go away for 4 nights in feb with my mum. This would involve leaving DH and dd (10) and ds (5). DH can work from home for two days - the other two are the weekend. I do feel torn leaving the family but I have saved money that I have earned from overtime and my mum is 71 so I feel it will be quality, precious time spent together. DH is being a difficult and I feel TBH he is jealous. Am I being selfish?

no you certainly are not

and your mum wont always be available/willing to go, so whilst she can and you have the money, go and enjoy yourself!!

Of course you are not being selfish and it's not like you are leaving him with a toddler and a baby.

Is he jealous because he would like to get away? Could you get away later in the year with him for a night?

Go for it ,he will just have to lump it

Of course YANBU. You've given him plenty of notice, it's not like you're leaving him with a newborn and a toddler. Go and enjoy it!!

Ten and five? No, I don't think that's unreasonable. You won't have many opportunities like this, I'd go for it.

My mum was really active, and it was a massive shock when she died after a short illness at 75.

It's a shame he's being unreasonable about it. He should be thinking of it as an opportunity to have some real quality time (!) with the kids. Hope you can talk him round.

Tell him to get a grip, pack your bags and have a fab time.

YANBU. One of my mother's big regrets when her own mother died is that she had never left us with my dad so she could to spend time with her mum, just the two of them. She thought he wouldn't cope but - when her mum was dying and she had to go - he managed fine.

Go go go go go!

My mum is disabled and would struggle with a holiday, an have just lost MIL and about to lose FIL. Make the most of every day with them I say!

Well if he's jealous, as opposed to thinking he can't cope, then surely all you have to do is ensure he can get the same opportunity (well not to spend time with your mother, but you get the idea)

YANBU to be able to do things alone away from the family, I think it's something that everyone should be able to do. I'd certainly have no problems if DP left me and DD for a few days.

Go for it --- but ask what DH like in return.

My mum started university as a mature student when I was about 10 and my sister was 5. I remember her going away on educational trips to Switzerland and Sweden for about a week each while she was a student. We all coped fine (nearly 20 years on my dad still can't cook).

YANBU.

Even if they were only a newborn and toddler I'm sure plenty of dads wouldn't think twice about going off for a few days away if they wanted to. I would go, OP, definitely.

yanbu, does DH ever go away and leave you alone? what are his reasons for being pissy about it?

I go away every year for a girlie weekend (even when I had a young baby and toddler). I know that time away from my DC helps me to be a better parent and DH understands this too. Does your DH ever go away?

He is being a silly sod for kicking up a fuss!

The only reasons I could see for him (legitimately) get the hump, would be if to work from home would involve considerable disruption/disapproval at work OR if your trip away made a family holiday unaffordable/not possible.

Otherwise go for it! Four days with a 10 and a 5 year old should be doable for any glad competent adult.

Go! He's being an ass. My mum took me and then 11 yo dd abroad for 5 days to celebrate her 60th. I was 7mths pg with dc3 and left dh and dd2 (15mths) home. He was more than happy, they had a great time!

Yanbu I go away every year for a few days with friends. Dh waves me off with a smile & a bigger one when I come back! However he also goes away with friends once a year & is often abroad with work so its my opportunity to completely relax.