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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to have paid towards parking?

68 replies

youarekidding · 30/12/2011 16:53

OK, asking because if IABU I will give some money over.

We planned a cinema trip with friends, 2ad and 3 DC's (her DD's 6&8 and my DS 7 (yo))

Friend lives 10 minutes (max) walk from town so I said we'd meet at hers and we agreed to walk as car park for the length of time we would be there was £6 Shock

Friend said go round bit earlier as her DC's wanted to play outside on new toys and DS could take roller blades.

So we turn up an hour half before time to leave and something happened between her 2 which left elder one screaming blue murder and having an hour long strop. Friend then said she wasn't going to go as her DD1 behaviour. I offered to take her DD2 but she said no - so I asked if she minded DS and I waiting at hers for the 20 minutes before we left? Not a problem she says.

Ten minutes later she announces she is getting ready to go but need to hurry as only has ten minutes now Confused. Her youngest DD then began to moan and whinge about walking and refusing to walk there. Using weather as an excuse. (was a little windy and had a quick shower half an hour before when they were outside). The whining went on and on and I said we had better get going or we wouldn't get there in time to book tickets and have a burger king as planned before the film started.

The stropping went on delaying my friend further until she said 'I'll have to drive now or we're going to be too late'. DS wanted to walk so I said we would leave and meet them there but her DD2 moaned again so DS said 'Oh I'll go in the car then if it keeps you quiet' Shock Grin

At this point I again mentioned cost of parking and that I couldn't afford it all but friend said driving was the only option and she had change on her. She said DS and I may as well go in the car with her as she'd have to.

So we go, book tickets, have burger king, get sweets and drink and go to film.

When we get out friend says if I wait with DC's she'll get the car park ticket (machine in different direction to car).

Then proceeded to mention the cost (£6) and how expensive it was for the rest of the afternoon.

I replied once 'I know that's why I said to walk'.

I get the feeling she wanted me to offer to pay some towards it - which at the time I didn't have enough cash on me as only took what I knew we'd need iyswim?

So been paid today - should I offer her half the cost or AIBU to think that as it was her and her DD's fault we went in the car she should stump up the charges? Not a major issue I'll admit but will do the right thing according to the MN jury!

OP posts:
TwoIfBySea · 30/12/2011 19:24

I think that as you had clearly said a few times you had an issue with the parking costs then your friend has to cough up the parking fee this time.

Parking charges are a particular bug bear of mine. Last year a large shopping centre in Livingston decided that, despite having never done so before, they would charge parking. It isn't extortionate but I agree that when you are budgeting for an expensive day out at the cinema it could certainly be the proverbial straw that broke etc.

I used to go up to the centre at least once a week, have a browse and usually would buy something. Now I rarely go, only if I need to go to the supermarkets which are still free. I figure that if they want custom and want people to buy things from their stores then it should be free. The company responsible gave some guff about being in line with other shopping centre charging but it simply wasn't true.

Original poster
youarekidding · 30/12/2011 19:30

I have been known to walk into town and get the bus home (if going in to buy things we need) - also expensive - as cheaper than parking, it takes me half hour to walk and although not far is a long way/ long time for a trip out.

OP posts:
PercyFilth · 30/12/2011 19:31

Oxford has recently reintroduced parking charges at the Park&Ride. You still have to pay for the bus. The whole idea of the P&R was to discourage traffic in the city centre, but now (unless you're on your own) you might as well drive in and share the extortionate parking charges because it now works out cheaper.

PurplePidjInAPearTree · 30/12/2011 19:34

Festi i was trying to avoid being overtly offensive despite the appalling taste in football team displayed on this thread Wink

festi · 30/12/2011 19:37

ha ha well im not a supporter of either, but no matter where you are portsmouth or southampton gosport is the ultimate pit of the universe apparently, so im doomed any how Grin

PurplePidjInAPearTree · 30/12/2011 20:26

i'm saints by birth with a footie mad dp so find myself making an effort occasionally

Gosport is known even this side of the water as the festering boil on the arsehole that is pompey Wink

None of the nicest people i know live there

festi · 30/12/2011 20:33
Angry
Pixieonthemoor · 30/12/2011 20:40

No way!! It was her stroptastic children that made you all late and you were very clear from the beginning re the parking fees. It is very kind of you to be considering it however!

Original poster
youarekidding · 31/12/2011 08:05

pixie Grin @ 'stroptastic'

OP posts:
TroublesomeEx · 31/12/2011 08:10

Plans were made and agreed.

She changed the plans. ergo she should pay.

If I'd been in her position, I'd have made it quite clear that I didn't expect you to pay half the parking. Certainly wouldn't have hinted that you should!

AngelAtTheTopOfTheTree · 02/01/2012 21:40

The government should be made to read these comments to realise how stretched some people's finances are. It really does make me sad that this is all over £3. Tragic. FWIW I would have just offered the £3. It does all sound kind of petty though. Crikey. Over £3.....

PercyFilth · 02/01/2012 21:54

There's nothing either tragic or petty here. OP's friend didn't ask her to pay anything. OP now thinks that the comments about cost were aimed at the errant children.

AngelAtTheTopOfTheTree · 02/01/2012 22:16

There's nothing tragic about the fact that some people can't afford £3??? It's a crying shame is what it is!!! If that isn't tragic in 2012 Britain, I don't know what you think is.

PercyFilth · 02/01/2012 22:23

I can think of plenty of genuinely tragic things, yes. Parking fees, though often overpriced, are not tragic.

HapHappyOpotomus · 02/01/2012 22:24

I would be surprised if she would expect you to chip in for parking from what you've told us here. YANBU

RomanChristingle · 02/01/2012 22:28

I must be a cow cos I wouldn't even think I owed her a coffee. From your op it looks like you've already been messed around enough and bent over backwards to do things her way appease her 'spirited' child. I would meet them there next time.

AngelAtTheTopOfTheTree · 02/01/2012 22:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Greythorne · 02/01/2012 22:55

I do know MN is here to let us all vent on topics large and small, but really, a post of this length regarding a £3 parking payment seems a bit frivolous even for MN.

AfternoonDelight · 02/01/2012 22:57

Wooo didn't know there were a load of Pompey birds hanging around!

AngelAtTheTopOfTheTree · 02/01/2012 23:02

£30, I would have understood......but £3. I'm with you Greythorne.

Original poster
youarekidding · 02/01/2012 23:12

I'm surprised myself this is still going!!

FWIW we met today as planned, I arranged to meet her there as it was a walking distance between us both she drove the mile!.

I bought her a coffee as she paid for parking and she said she didn't expect that. I mentioned about her comments re cost and she confirmed they were aimed at the charges in general and her DD's. She apologised saying she realised how it would have seemed from my POV.

It wasn't a biggy no, but like someone said MN is all about venting/ asking about the things that can seem petty in RL.

OP posts:
PercyFilth · 02/01/2012 23:40

AngelAtTheTopOfTheTree

Calling me thick, a troll and obnoxious is a tad OTT. You are the one who revived this thread without, apparently, paying much attention to the actual situation described. As the OP herself sais, it was "not a major issue".

OP, I'm glad you clarified things with your friend. It's all too easy to give people the wrong impression and I can picture myself doing exactly the same as I am always moaning about parking charges :o

ZacharyQuack · 02/01/2012 23:48

Angel, the OP mentions a cinema trip, new toys, Burger King and the ownership of a car. Don't get too worked up over the "tragedy", I think they're doing OK.

WhereEaglesDare · 02/01/2012 23:51

I would offered £3 . When you go out,especially with kids and no ,matter how much you plan in detail,it is very often different when you are out and extra costs can appear. You all went together,and no offence (myself i am not swimming in money) but if you can afford cinema (don't want to sound mean),extra £3 don't feel so much more. I take my 2 dd's to cinema very often and it always comes up to £30 outing. But ,in reality it comes always more....

Bogeyface · 02/01/2012 23:58

The OP didnt have enough cash ON HER AT THE TIME!!!

She stated quite clearly that she took out what she knew she would need and no more. I do this as I had my purse stolen once with almost £100 in that I had withdrawn for a lunch out and then buying myself something with my birthday money. Now I withdraw what I need for what I am doing and only that. If I am out with the kids then I often dont take my bag and keep my money in my jeans and I never take my bag to the cinema as my sisters friend had her purse and phone taken out of hers while she was watching the film!

The OP wasnt suggesting she couldnt afford it, but that she didnt have it on her at the time and was questioning whether, morally, she owed it at all.

Read the OP people Hmm