to think that not everything is a matter of opinion and.

[seeker]

.."you know your baby best" is absolute claptrap. As is 'happy mother=happy baby"

I don't think anyone has made accusations, but I do think some people are feeling so defensive that they are seeing things that aren't there.

My only point was that happy mother = happy baby can be used as an excuse quite easily. That does not mean it applies to every situation and it is certainly not accusing anyone of anything.

But Slavey when I have heard that expression used on here most people are being quite reasonable.

If someone said in order to be happy I must spend 6 nights a week getting pissed and spend 2 months a year childfree in the Bahamas and a happy mother equals a happy baby I would think you had a point but most people are sensible and want what's best for the whole family.

Unhappy baby = unhappy mum. That I know. Unhappy might meen truly deeply challenged with soul freezing misery, or somewhat pissed off that motherhood isn't what it was made out to be or whatever. Be that becasue the baby cries a lot and doesn't sleep well, or be that because they land into special care seriously ill. Nothing will change my mind on that.

Except in a deeply addicted mother, who's addiction seems to blind them even to that. But maybe that is a survival mechanism. Who knows.

I'm not sure that I actually want to get involved here but sometimes the 'what's best for the child is dIfficilt for the mother' works the other way around too doesn't it? Reading lots of posts about hyperactive babies and toddlers with no attention span who are awake 18 hours a day and fight sleep constantly. Are these not (a lot of the time) symptoms of extreme overtirednesd in the small people? Mothers who want to he baby led also do need to be aware that smalls do not always know what is inherently good for them. And are those mothers not doing their children a disservice by not helping them to learn to sleep?

And CC / CIO are not the only options, but it seems that baby led is baby led, irrespective of the damage that lack of sleep might do them.

Just my two pence worth...

I agree Lotus.

you can help a baby/toddler to learn to sleep without leaving them to cry tho :)

and in my case with ds4, he was most definetly happier not bfed than he was when i was bfeeding and spiralling into pnd then pnp requiring hospital admission, yes bfeeding was nutritionaly better for him and the best thing, but ultimately he just needed to be fed and loved, i couldnt do both if i carried on bfeeding so i had to stop and get well so i could love him (not that i didnt love him when i was ill, but i couldnt be a proper mum to him or my other children) so yes happy mum did mean a happy baby.