At my dad (trivial and pfb-sorry)

[junsab]

I'm staying at my mums with 12 week DS. He's currently asleep in the spare bedroom

We have 3 bathrooms including an ensuite in the spare room. Despite the others, everyone always wants to take a shower in the ensuite one because they all prefer it to the others!

So my dads just taken a shower there and I got annoyed that he may have woken up DS. He just looked a bit meh and said he didn't see the big deal as he was quiet. I made a bit of a fuss about it.

AIBU? DS is my first. I get really really stressed about his routines and sleep. I also think I have mild PND which may be making me irrational

Totally agree with all Pictish has said. Please dont require silence for baby to sleep as you'll regret that more in the long run as my DB and DSIL have now found & it's a nightmare for them & anyone visiting them or when they are anywhere other than their own house.

Tooblunt - the point is that if you have a baby who's a light sleeper, you're hardly going to be stamping around like an elephant when they're asleep - especially if you're in need of a couple of hours off.

Stating the obvious, but not all babies are the same.

Babysilvertooth- oh gosh. It's a pain isn't it? My DS is the same. Sometimes he will sleep through my bonkers family get togethers and their raucous laughter and other times a squeaky door will wake him!

I totally understand about not letting them get used to silence. Need to work on it though

I have done the whole watching tv with subtitles, turning off house phone, shushing my family when they get too loud (this is hugely annoying to them and I know it is but can't help it!)

My dad is totally blase about it all as he didn't lift a finger when my siblings and I were babies and doesn't with my DS either so cannot possibly fathom the terror at the thought of your baby waking up!

The more noise that is going on, the more kids will sleep though it.

If you regularly try to keep the house silent while they sleep, sudden noises will wake them, but if there is a constant low level of activity, the majority of babies will sleep right through it.

It's hard to be a first time Mum and be living with other people - even your own family.

It is normal not to want anything to wake them & to feel like murdering anyone who does anything that might wake them - but as others have said, it's really really bad to allow the baby to get used to sleeping in total silence as it's impossible to keep this up and they need to get used to sleeping through stuff and self settling.

I hope the appointment helps you feel better about things.

Congratulations on DS :) I bet he's absolutely adorable!!

Yes you are being very precious, babies have to learn to sleep through eeryday household noise incl vacumes, toilets flushing, you cannot tiptoe around them.

he did not wake the baby up, its his house he can use what shower he likes, no big deal.

piglet

Read the thread and STFU

Of course nobody wants their baby to be woken up in the evening but one of the best pieces of advice I was ever given as a new mum was not to tiptoe quietly around a sleeping baby. If your ds wasn't woken by the sound of the shower, then it's unlikely that he would be disturbed by either the TV or the phone ringing, unless the volume was turned up really loud.

mary I am just commenting on the post, we all have different opinions

I think you need help and support with the anxiety and stress OP, and that it's a very good sign that you are considering you may be over-reacting.
I did some very strange things with my PFB that looking back were verging on loopy. The real benefit of that time was realising how lovely my family were. They nodded and smiled and did what the crazy woman asked and waited for the real me to resurface. Then they didn't laugh about it.
Your dad sounds as if he's trying and forgetting the new rules.
My two could sleep through anything, my sister's are very different.