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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel NYE on DP because of his pathetic childish joke?

52 replies

HairyNuttyShit · 29/12/2011 23:00

NYE we have arranged a party at our house. Mostly DP's friends but also a group of mine too. DP had his friends around last night also and they had drinks and xbox whilst I took the kids to family party. I got back around 10pm, put the kids to bed, DPs night had turned into a full on party more or less but I simply asked him to keep it down and went upstairs to study. Came down at around 11.30 to get a drink and on the fridge where DD had made a 2012 calender with a snowman on the front one of those idiots had drawn a huge ejaculating penis coming off the snowman's head. They were in hysterics when I went into the kitchen so must have known I would see it. I didn't mention it at the time, just went back up to bed but have since told DP that because of what he did I am cancelling the NYE party and going out with my friends instead. He says I am "Totally over-reacting" and need to "get a grip".

AIBU ?

OP posts:
2rebecca · 30/12/2011 09:14

I think having a party at your house when you have young kids and were wanting to study is bizarre. Why not send your boyfriend out to party with someone childless?
Are they all 18? It sounds juvenile and tedious. What are you planning to do with your daughter on new years eve if going out with friends?
Having 2 parties at your house in 3 days sounds knackering and mean on a small kid.

Fregley · 30/12/2011 09:17

is your H about 18>

snuffaluffagus · 30/12/2011 09:23

God he sounds like a right twat.. I'd have gone mental at the time so you did well to not kick off.. you're doing the right thing, I wouldn't want them in my house again.. and your dp needs to do some serious grovelling of his own!

OrmIrian · 30/12/2011 09:24

Nope. Not if that's how his mates behave at a party.

How sad for your DD.

DilysPrice · 30/12/2011 09:29

I think you've overreacted (although your DP has been a twat, if one of DH's friends did that he'd be up at 6am with tippex, print stick and scalpel until it was fixed).

BTW what's wrong with having a party with children asleep in the house?

LovesBloominChristmas · 30/12/2011 09:29

Cut the plug off his xbox.

Also don't know how you didn't kick them all out on the spot!

unreasonablemuch · 30/12/2011 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lottiegb · 30/12/2011 09:35

I feel very sad for your daughter - please don't let her see it - she must have put lots of work into this and probably hopes / thinks it's the best present you ever received. If your partner can't understand that he needs to go back to 'contemplating parenthood 101' and do everything he can to rectify the damage. If he can't influence his friends to behave with basic respect in your house, then this should include him declining to invite them back.

Velvetcu · 30/12/2011 09:35

Yanbu! I also would have gone mental there and then and chucked them all out! What a bunch of knobs. Do his friends have kids/partners? I'd be inclined to tell their OHs too so that they got it in the neck at home.

BastedTurkey · 30/12/2011 09:38

Yanbu I can't believe how calm you were at the time.

Your DH is a knobber not to have dealt with friend

KittieCat · 30/12/2011 09:43

LovesBloominChristmas I'd be sorely tempted to remove more than the plug on his Xbox. . . OP, you are absolutely NBU.

Iceaddict · 30/12/2011 09:44

YANBU I'd have gone nuts on the spot to, the offending friend wouldn't be welcome in future and DP would be in dog house. As for NYE follow your heart and do what will really make you happy. Start your year off on a new foot. Good luck

MollyTheMole · 30/12/2011 09:44

yanbu how old is this man child?

3littlefrogs · 30/12/2011 09:49

Is he your dd's father?

He and his friends sound revolting IMO.

karentokylie · 30/12/2011 09:49

What an awful thing to do Angry.

JustHecate · 30/12/2011 09:53

That was a horrible thing to do.

I would be asking him if he is happy for his daughter's artwork to remain on show like that. If not, (and I hope not!) what is he going to tell her about why it is gone. If he's happy for it to stay, what is he going to tell his daughter that thing is on the snowman's head?

That's just not a funny thing to do to something that your child has worked really hard on. How is your daughter going to feel that this calendar has just vanished? Doesn't he give a shit about that?

I suspect the reason he is being a dick about this is because he knows but doesn't want to admit, that it was a shitty thing to allow to happen

trainbrown · 30/12/2011 09:58

Schafer is spot on here, why should you miss out? NYE party with your friends and DP not invited sounds reasonable. BTW I would have exploded, DC art work is sacred, good idea about the cut and paste, and the spa. Also, the one who did the graffitti, or DP, needs to get the DD a gift to say sorry, or a fab day out to apologise. YANBU, I would have been far worse, and reacted at the time, throwing them all out and trashing the xbox

trainbrown · 30/12/2011 10:05

It also sounds a bit like this man has no balls and was not man enough to stand up to his friends when they did it. Now he is covering by treating it as nothing because he knows he should have stopped this and had a go at the idiot at the time. Now he feels ashamed and is still too cowardly to admit it is bad because this will mean he has to confront his friends.

2rebecca · 30/12/2011 10:05

I would never have had a "full on party" in a house with sleeping small children, or when I was trying to study. OK some people would but the way the OP chooses to live her life having parties with teenage acting blokes whilst she is studying and a small child is trying to sleep sounds completely alien to me. Maybe she lives in a large well sound insulated mansion, I don't.

DilysPrice · 30/12/2011 10:08

Oh and tell DD that something got spilled on her calendar which is why it's been taken down, but DP will fix it.

Thumbinnapuddingwitch · 30/12/2011 10:08

YADNBU to cancel. I wouldn't let them in the house ever again, tbh.
How fucking rude to deface a child's creation and then laugh about it. Morons.

iFailedTheTuringTest · 30/12/2011 10:26

It wasn't a joke, it was a minor act of vandalism. Git.

And rather creepy to do that to a kids drawing imo

PeneloPeePitstop · 30/12/2011 10:32

What a knob end.

FrankiDon182 · 30/12/2011 10:34

Please ensure that you give you DC a permeant marker to deface something valuable/sentimental of DHs, how dare he allow his 'friends' to deface something of your childs and disrespect your home.
My DH and friends are really fun loving and immature when together and drinking but none of them would have done that! Chalk board yes maybe but not my sons art work Angry
You are defo NOT being unreasonable!!!

dreamingbohemian · 30/12/2011 10:49

Gawd, you are so NBU

What a bunch of twats