WIBU to not wash up the pan? <Trivial alert>

[RainboweBrite]

My turn to cook dinner today (bangers, mash, peas, broccoli and gravy), but what do I find? DH, who had lunch later than DS and I, hadn't washed up the pan he'd used from his lunch, and I needed it for the broccoli. So, in this situation, what would you do?

(a) Just wash up the pan and get on with it!
(b) Call DH and make him wash up the pan.
(c) Not wash up the pan and not have any broccoli.

Luckily for me, I checked and found another pan in the cupboard. So I used this, but only because I knew I wouldn't have to wash up after dinner, as when we're both around (DH works away all week and for the last few months has only been back every other weekend, so everything falls to me), whoever cooks, the other washes up/loads the dishwasher.

If I hadn't found the other pan, I would have gone for (c), because I don't see why I should have to wash up someone else's pan, even if I really wanted the broccoli.

Am I the only one who thinks like this? FWIW, there have been a couple of occasions when I have really craved a G&T after a stressful day in the summer, but decided to go without it completely upon discovering there was no lime or lemon.

I'd have just not had broccoli, hate the stuff.
HTH

I would have just washed the pan.

However, I have a husband who does the pots far more than I do, and I have not picked up a hoover in about 6 years so such things as washing something up that he's left is no big deal, because we both do whatever needs doing and I don't feel like the housework fairy.

If you are feeling fed up, then tell him things have to change. It doesn't always have to be you. He's a fully functioning human being who is capable of pulling on a pair of marigolds!

If he does do his fair share and you are just being a grumpus then you should have just done the pan !

Oh and I meant to add, you should go and buy some extra pans, then you'll always have one.

What's that blog by the bloke who's married to the Scandinavian woman? You sound like the wife.

Do you not have a microwave I havent used a pan for heating beans in years... much easier to wash out a plastic bowl.
Yes, we do, and I always use it for baked beans, but for reasons best known to himself, DH chose to use a pan to heat up his baked beans!
Rikalaily, we have got a dishwasher, but it wasn't due to go on yet.
Baubles, "Let him get away with this and you're on a slippery slope, madam...."*, I seem to have this attitude, but most people on here seem to think it's petty, so maybe they're right.
Squeaky put her finger on it, by reminding me about yesterday's scrambled egg pan, and I think that was the trigger to today's minor irritation!

It's not petty. I wouldn't have washed up the pan.

Shouldn't he be doing most of the cooking/washing up when he's home to make up for being away most of the time? Doesn't sound like he is pulling his weight re: the DCs generally.

Just think - if you hadn't fannied around posting this you could have washed the pan by now

Seriously, who has broccoli with bangers and mash?

D) Buy a dishwasher and more pans on DH's credit card so I never had to to wash up another of his used pans again!

Oops, sorry, see those have been suggested already and I usually get really annoyed when people don't read the whole thread before posting!!

YA Bonkers ever heard of cutting your nose off to spite your face? Well that's you that is!! Wash the pan and be done with it - and honestly you don't need lemon or line in a G&T - not having one because there is no lemon is daft - you could just buy more when shopping

Ha ha nice one OP

Cook the broccoli with the peas?

I recall ds1 and 2 having conversations like this. But they were 13 and 14 at the time. Do you resolve them similarly too? Only at our house ds1 would invariably lose his temper and caper around the sitting room like an orang-utan shouting "I've got two spoons, one for each eye".

So yes, YABU and vair petty. Why put yourself out and consider not cooking the broccoli when a moment's work would have delivered you the pan of choice to cook it in? Sometimes, an overly-principled stance can be the sillier option.

I don't like broccoli.

But mainly I think you are a bit mad for insisting that everything be washed up after every single meal.

Do you count every thing that the other person does? That sort of tit for tat arrangement leads to resentment IME. Is this really about a dirty pan... or a whole host of resentment and bad feeling festering in your relationship? If so, be honest with yourself and your DP, try to talk or get some counselling. Or buy 'his' and 'her' pans?!

I'm with you, op. Totally. Yanbu. Life is too short to wash up other people's pans.