So, this morning I got my period marking the end of my breastfeeding disaster. 
I tried soooo hard, I had mastitis in the 2nd week and third week. I was in so much pain for weeks when I fed and I didnt know why, I assumed everyone had this amount of pain and it wasnt until ten weeks in, when I had already introduced formula that someone suggested deep breast thrush. By the time I had been treated the formula had sort of taken over and gradually despite my efforts to stop I was already relying on the bottles too much. THe guilt I feel/felt has been so terrible. Crying crying crying. I wanted be the one who BF until aged 2, I wanted to be the one who BF in the cafe. I feel like my BF experience was stolen from me. I even wish my lovely friends had had at least some of the bad experiences I had had just so that I wouldnt be the only one who gave up so early.I had some fantastic advice from Mumsnetters and even spoke to a lovely lady on the phone about it all. (Thanks Featherblue) I even tried to get DD to suckle on me for comfort but she doesnt seem to want to do that anymore. I will miss it so much. I feel like an utter failure with regards to the whole fiasco. I sobbed this morning for an hour. To top it all off we are going through the 4 month growth spurt and DD kept me up last night for 4 hours.
AIBU?