To have hoicked then rapidly unhoicked my judgeypants?!

[Flyingoutofcontrol]

P&C space related - sorry!

At the supermarket and driving round the carpark to find a space (not bothered about P&C although they're nice if you get one) as it was very very busy. Saw a car coming out of a P&C space and indicated to turn in. The outgoing car reversed out and stopped me turning in by reversing towards me IYSWIM and another car coming in the other direction pinched the space despite it being fairly obvious I was waiting. I glared and then hoicked my judgey pants till they almost reached my neck when a woman got out with her son who I would have aged at about 10-11.

Luckily another car slightly closer to the shop was leaving so I got my space and thought no more about it.

Then I was doing my shopping and taking bollocks to my DS when I spied them further up the aisle. The boy was lying on the floor having a full on strop toddler style while the mum almost looked like she was in tears and was trying to move her trolley so her son didn't hurt himself. Well, my judgey pants weren't so much hoicked down as they fell down of their own accord. I felt so sorry for the poor woman and did offer to help but she smiled sadly and said that she was used to it, but if I could just push the trolley further away but in sight she'd be fine.

I did as she asked, and she thanked me and I moved off rather than stand like a chocolate teapot, although I did circle a few times to check on her.

Made me think though; and count my blessings.

Yes - things aren't always how they seem are they :( Poor woman, but still, luckily you hadn't shouted at her earlier about her not needing a space or anything!

She might be an MNer!!

well done for offering to help.

I use P&C spaces when I am with dd1. she is rising 8, but needs an extra harness in the car to keep her safe, and I need the extra room to be able to strap her in. (also helps not scratch the car next to us when she gets out too, as she is a bit clumsy).

and before anyone says it - yes, I could park at the other end of the carpark and walk - oh, except I can't, because the other end is always full to bursting as it is the short stay parking for the town centre. and the middle bit is taken up with parking for the leisure centre - our supermarket parking is really crap.

I have had many a judgy look before now, but in all seriousness, apart from not going shopping with dd1, I have little other option.

thankfully dd2 is still in a RF seat, and tiny, so looks like a 3 year old so if she is there too I get away with it.

but I do wish people would judge less to begin with.

doesn't excuse her stealing of the space though, does it?

Yep. Judgey looks, tuts and sighs ahoy whenever I take my (enormous, seemingly 'normal') autistic son shopping.

A friend has little information cards called 'About Autism; that she simply hands to judgey-pants strangers with a smile. I prefer filthy looks, meself

Does make you think, though, doesnt it? You never do know the full story, so always best to err on the side of good manners and calm attitude

I invariably use P & C parking for my 12 year old. Her learning disabilities affect (amongst other things) her co-ordination, so there is no way she can put on or take off her own seatbelt. I have to open door, heave my bulky frame into the car and clunk click her.

And same as Silverfrog's DD, she would just push the door open, despite me telling her about 100million times to wait for me to do it .

Oh, and she has no road sense, so needs to be close to the safe path that runs up the middle.

She only gets lower rate DLA for mobility, so no blue badge, so I go for the option safest for me, her and the public.

(Tantrums in the shop are a whole other thread )

No-one has ever challenged me, but I like the idea of the info cards. Would explain why this gorgeous, healthy looking half woman/half child needs to hold her Mum's hand and has to be helped into and out of the car

Good on you op.

I have two with ASD and it can be hard dealing with judgyites, I have a rhino hide these days and a deathglare that sends even dp running for the hills.

Very, very rarely do I get ratty with other people ( ALthough I did recently on a fecking BUS of all places, I ticked a MN box. He deserved it tho, I stand by my tantrum ) It's always welcome if people are understnading when things are going hard.

On a better note ds coped with a shopping trip, flying round busy shops today. he was fab, i'm very proud of us both. I didn't get bitten, kicked, headbutted, spat at or have my hair pulled all day either which is a bonus !

Wow, a nice, friendly, supportive P&C space AIBU! Is this a MN first?

I want to say thank you, on behalf of that woman, for being so friendly and non-judgmental. You will almost certainly have made her day. It would have made mine had she been me.

One of the glories of living in SN-land is the number of opportunities it gives us to discover how many people really are kind and friendly and wanting to help if the occasion arises. Ordinary families getting on with their easyasfuck ordinary lives don't so often see how kindly so many strangers can be.

What ommmward said too.

People just smiling and nodding when the boy chats away to them even when they don't have a clue what he means, or indulging him when he asks them what ype of phone he has over and over again

He is a charming bugger tho like his mum and I think / hope the effect he generally has on people is positive.

Tho I could throttle the lady on the security desk in TESCOS, she lets him play on the camera, twisty thing, went through a great time when he expected it in every shop

thatbad

Ds only gets low rate mob, but I phoned up and explained, we did get a blue badge issued even tho i'm a non car owner ( bil uses it when we go out together )

Thanks Apocalypse. I was so amazed to get anything that I just accepted it. I will get in touch and see if I can get any more help. Thanks

Festive from me, too. I'd like to think that if I hadn't had DS2, who has ASD, I'd still have been as tolerant and accepting as I should be.

AmIthatbad I'm sure the current administration is grateful to you for saving the 38p they would have to spend on your blue badge. I'm sure we all are, because your stress and misery are unimportant.

Thank you people for patting me on the back. To be honest I didn't post for that reason, more than I felt bad for making an assumption and jumping to judge before knowing what was going on.

Still feeling a bit about it to be honest.

I am not proud of myself but possibly (only possibly) I might have been a wee bit judgy pre MN, so I would like to thank MN for the insight that I would never have had before. I like to think I have become a better person for gaining more understanding about conditions I had frankly no idea existed.

My darling Nephew is autistic, and this could have been him and my sister. So from another relative of an Autistic child, Thank you

I remember my mum huffing at a women who had pulled into a disabled space with a small child in the car , she stopped huffing when she got a equally small wheelchair and oxygen cylinder out of the boot , to go with said child .