to leave my brats home alone for the next 9 hours?

[CarolCervix]

H hs gone out on the piss.

I'm going to work.

the DDs refuse to get dressed so i am leaving them at home.

AIBU?

because when i get home and they are bruised and bleeding and the dogs are puking and the kitchen is burnt out i can blame all of you and not myself.

Seriously, how hard it it to catch a baby?

Send dd's into work and you stay at home and not cook, answer the door or set fire to stuff.

Ie, slob around order take away let children witness the beauty of new life and put them off sex forever

it's a bit of a doddle honey. in fact it's so bloody easy i often get dads to do it for me. that way i don't lose count on my knitting.

also describing it in graphic detail appears to be working a treat in the 'putting off sex forever' plan.

Leave them a couple of bottles of vodka and they wont bother with anything else - simples.

YANBU. at 12yo I would look after my siblings (4 and 8) after school for an hour or so. At 15 I was left all day in charge of a baby and 3yo it paid well

You could also reassure all the new parents that they're screaming newborn will be able to fend for themselves in 13 years so not to worry.

whilst hoping you don't go home to a scene not unfamiliar in an episode of CSI!

If you have two teenagers who are incapable of cooking, or being on their own for a few hours, I would suggest you stay in with them and teach them some life skills that they seriously are lacking.

Gawd yes, tell the truth if I was desperate as a one-off I'd have left mine alone at 10+12 (with frequent phone calls to them).

My two are 13 and 15- we gave up on baby sitters over a year ago and the eldest was left at home in the school holidays when I was at work from the age of 12 (granny lives just round the corner.)

I'm sure they will be fine, but not sure why OH can't be asked to leave the pub to look after his own children. Bit of a strange old world in which being out on the piss is more important than being a father.

Good grief - they'll be fine probably.

I think Chipping is onto something with the vodka idea. Seeing as you've terrified them into never bearing grandchildren for you, you'll be safe with boys there too. A couple of strapping young men could come in handy to help carry your DH up the stairs when he gets home.