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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to change my DC's names?

15 replies

Wongamum · 29/12/2011 00:36

This thread is inspired by the middle names thread. I have a middle name that I try to avoid using as much as possible. It doesn't feel like 'me'.

I had my DD's when I was young and I gave them lovely first names, chavvy middle names that they now hate, and my surname. They feel the same way about their middle names as I do about mine.

My DS was born in 2009 and I gave him a lovely first name and DH's surname. No middle name thankfully.

How do I go about changing mine and my DDs' names to exclude the middle names so we never have to see them on our passports, bank letters etc again?

OP posts:

JjandtheBean · 29/12/2011 01:00

Deed poll?

Dp changed his name at 18, different surname and new spelling of middle name, cost around £80

tigerlillyd02 · 29/12/2011 01:02

I think through deed poll which can be done online now.

In my opinion it is better to keep it than get rid. You not only have to send your birth certificate off for things but a copy of the deed poll certificate too. Much like producing a marriage certificate and changing name that way I suppose but it's just one of those PITA's if you happen to lose the certificate or something when a company (such as the CRB) asks for proof as to why your name changed.

I hate my middle and surname but think it's too much hassle long term to change.

fatcaaah · 29/12/2011 01:30

My dss hates his middle name (as do I and dh) and none of us ever use it. It's not on his passport, school or medical records etc, we've gradually erased it. It is obviously still on birth cert but if that is ever needed (rarely now as if ID is needed we use passport) we just request the middle name is not recorded.

Ds changed surname by deed poll (double barrelled when I married his step dad) and we always have to send copies of the change of name doc off with things.

IMO it would be much easier for you to just stop using the middle names

CogitoErgoSometimes · 29/12/2011 09:10

Curiosity killed the cat and all that.... but what are these chavvy middle names? :)

Original poster

Wongamum · 29/12/2011 10:32

I was under so much pressure from my ex to name DD1 his favourite girl's name but I wanted to give her my favourite name so I persuaded him that the order of my preference 1st then his 2nd went together better. Another bone of contention was that I gave her my surname, her Irish Christian name goes beautifully with my Irish surname. The middle name doesn't belong there!

I told ex we would call her by the middle name (he really hated the name I had picked). Everyone ended up calling her by her first name as she really suits it.

Unfortunately the order of her initials makes an embarrassing rude term that I hoped no one would notice but teenage DD has and says she has been teased for it!

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 29/12/2011 10:39

Er, what does your ex say about this?

Original poster

Wongamum · 29/12/2011 10:43

We split up when eldest DD was 3, he didn't see the DDs for a few months then when he started contact again he was calling DD1 by her first name. It was a huge relief!

OP posts:

Cabrinha · 29/12/2011 10:58

Even if ex now uses first name I think you're on difficult ground obliteratng the name he chose, without talking to him about it.

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 29/12/2011 11:02

Just don't use them and the only place they will appear is a passport.

GypsyMoth · 29/12/2011 11:04

You will likely need his permission unless they are over 16

Original poster

Wongamum · 29/12/2011 11:05

They are both over 16 :)

OP posts:

zest01 · 29/12/2011 21:39

what are the middle names? (curious)

Floggingmolly · 29/12/2011 22:56

They're both over 16?. Has this really been an issue for their entire lives?. I don't believe it.

skybluepearl · 29/12/2011 22:59

deed poll. what middle names would they like?

PealThemWithTheirMetalKnives · 29/12/2011 23:19

Just don't use them! This is what middle initials are for! Also I wouldn't change them anyway. I hated my middle names at school but now I've grown into them and feel rather pleased with them. What's chavvy now won't necessarily be so in the future as well.

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