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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wonder why some parents decide not to give their children middle names?

103 replies

BelleTheBeatnik · 28/12/2011 22:56

I'm not saying they should, I'm just wondering if it's because they don't feel a middle name would fit well with the first or surname, or perhaps because it was stressful enough choosing one name, let alone too!
If you did give your child a middle name, was it because you specifically liked a second name, or wanted to honour a family member, or was it just a case of "that's the done thing". Just curious, my brain has weird musings at this time of night!

OP posts:

BandOMothers · 28/12/2011 23:23

We have a loooong surname.

Ineedacleaneriamalazyslattern · 28/12/2011 23:24

All 3 of mine have middle names. Dd's middle name is just one we liked but I do kind of wish I had picked my gran's name as it's a name I love but always thought if I had another dd I might use it as a first name.
Ds1 middle name is the name of mine and his dad's grandfather. We liked the name and as they both had the same name we weren't offending one side of the family. He wasn't particularly named after them as such we just liked it.
Ds2 has dh's dad's middle name as his. I loved it as a first name everyone hated it so I put it in the middle. Dh dad passed away when we were teens and dss already had his first name as his middle name.

I have absolutely no clue why we gave middle names it was never really discussed ex and I just automatically chose middle names for dd and ds1 probably because we both have middle names.

Pandemoniaa · 28/12/2011 23:26

I'm not someone who believes everyone has to have a middle name but since ds1 and 2 have such a common surname we thought it would be useful to give them middle names. That way they might be differentiated from all the other Tarquin & Justin Fortescue-Smythes.

Both have middle names that are meaningful family names though.

confusedpixie · 28/12/2011 23:27

I haven't got one! My parents excuse is that they found it hard enough finding first names that are both English and Iranian, let alone middle names. Lucky they had three girls and not a boy though, they only had one boys name that they liked...

IndianOcean · 28/12/2011 23:28

I have no middle name. My parents could think of nothing that sat well between my first and surnames, and could see no reasn to give me one, just for the sake of it.
My DC have no middle name. Unless you have a specific reason to give one, or use a particular name, or have two names you love and want to use, why bother, just for the sake of it?

SpaghettiTwirlerPrancerVixen · 28/12/2011 23:28

My grandma doesn't have one, and when she was small her teacher asked her what her middle name is to which my 7yo grandma replied 'I don't have one miss, our family is too poor for middle names!' :o :o :o

dmo · 28/12/2011 23:28

In our catholic religion if we choose a first name for our child thats not in the bible we can stick a bible name in the middle

A1980 · 28/12/2011 23:29

Becasue there's little point in having one.

I have one and it's on my birth certificate and passport and that's it.

It isn't even on my degree or my solicitors practicing certificate. Why would it need to be?

elliejjtiny · 28/12/2011 23:30

DS1 and DS2 have family middle names. DS3 has the middle name that DS2 chose (DS1 chose the girl's middle name but we never used that).

LittleMissHumbuggery · 28/12/2011 23:37

My son has two middle names, they're family new I love. They also make for a ruddy good Sunday name bellowing when he's in bother:o

My daughter dOesnt have a middle name, as there were none that go with her first.

Randomly, the names I have chosen for the abdominal octopus work out on the same lines. If a girl she'll have one name, a boy three. Silly brain:o

tethersend · 28/12/2011 23:40

DD has my surname as a middle name. Not sure what we'll do for this next one- can we do the same or is that weird?

Seona1973 · 29/12/2011 08:22

I have 2 middle names which are the first names of my 2 grans. Both my mum and dad have middle names as do all my siblings. DD has a middle name (my mums first name) as does ds (dh's dads first name)

HollyShitty · 29/12/2011 08:27

Having never used my own middle name (and ever so slightly hating it), I didn't feel the need to burden DS with one.

quirrelquarrel · 29/12/2011 08:30

I can't even pronounce my second middle name- it's in a language I used to be fluent in but lost along with the accent...

happyhorse · 29/12/2011 08:38

DS doesn't have a middle name as I don't see the point in having a name that's never used (unless you give a really weird first name, in which case I guess it's nice for them to have something more normal to fall back on).

ILoveSanta · 29/12/2011 08:39

My DS has two middle names. My brother had two, and my husband had two. He has my husband's first name and my dad's first name (which also happened to be DH's dad's middle name so saved fights!).
My son is also called the Gaelic version of a family name, although it was my husband who chose his name!

If I have any more, not sure what names I will use for middle names if they are boys! In fact not sure what I will use if it's a girl, as the name I love for a girl is so close to my name that I couldn't also use my name as a middle name!

I just like the thought of being able to change to use a middle name if he decided he didn't want to use his first name, plus it was a nice thing to remember important family members.

On my mum's side, only the oldest boy has a middle name, on my dad's side, they all have maiden names of mothers or grandmothers for middle names!

DressingGownSnowQueen · 29/12/2011 08:43

I am one of four siblings and none of us have a middle name. My mum just didn't like them. She gave us all great names (unusual and pretty but not out there) so we wouldn't have any reason to want or use a middle name.

I haven't given my dd one, tbh it just didn't really occour to me.

ScroobiousPip · 29/12/2011 08:45

I can think of a couple of reasons for having a middle name which posters may or may not agree with.

It gives the child a couple of options when they grow up and hate being called Peaches/Petal/River

Sometimes initials can cause embarrassment, eg Billy Jones, Fred Owen. Adding a middle name or swapping the names around reduces the 'tease' factor.

Sadly, not having a middle name will mark you out in certain social circles where it is de rigeur to have at least 1, but preferably 2 or 3 middle names. Not saying it's right but your PFB may find it harder to fit in if he/she lacks a middle name entirely. Can recall at Cambridge where all names, including middle initials, were painted up on the staircase boards each year - someone without a middle name would have stuck out like a sore thumb.

It's easy to drop a middle name if you don't like it, harder to add one on later in life.

WorkingClassMum · 29/12/2011 08:47

Wow, most people I know have middle names. I always thought it was to further distinguish a person from the madding crowd.

It has always been a beef in my life that my father spelt both my first and second name wrong long before adding or leaving out vowles was considered cool.

DressingGownSnowQueen · 29/12/2011 08:51

I can say will complete certainty that I have never had trouble fitting in because I don't have a middle name!

And being a bit of an individual isn't always a bad thing

Himalaya · 29/12/2011 09:03

I have a friend who has a middle initial, but no middle name, just a letter. I quite like that.

purpleknittingmum · 29/12/2011 09:06

Me and my brother have one middle name, his 3 kids have 2 middle names each, our daughter has one middle name

I have a 'thing' about names and when choosing a name didn't want her to have the same initials as us, in-laws, my parents, had to be careful with initials, and I wasn't going to use any relatives name as any first or middle name. Quite a job! I just wanted her to be named after nobody

My SIL is quite proud of the fact that her and her daughter's initials spell out a not very nice word!

Marymaryalittlecontrary · 29/12/2011 09:45

I think middle names can be important for practical reasons. When my dad was battling cancer he was tested for something or other and they got his results mixed up with that of another man with the same first and surname. He was called in for some treatment he didn't need, which could have been very dangerous. That alone is a good enough reason for me to give kids middle names if/when I have any.

Also, where I work the email addresses use your middle initial as part of the address, so if you don't have one you get one assigned to you. I'm glad I have my own.

My parents tried to convince my brother to give his sons middle names as their first names both begin with the same letter, so now they're getting older there will be times when a letter arrives for Mr J Smith, and they might end up opening each other's post.

Plus, and I know this one is a bit daft, but I always think it sounds so much better during wedding ceremonies! " Do you Helen Elizabeth take Robert Michael to be...." sounds so much better than "Do you Helen Elizabeth take Bob to be ...."

Snapespeare · 29/12/2011 09:55

DD - middle name is the midwife who saw me through the end of a 36 hour labour - plus we wanted a scots name to go with my hebrew 1st name & it 'went' nicely.

DS1 - scots 1st name, my granpas first name as middle name
DS2 - scots 1st name - I'd come around to my mums first name as second name, but DS wasn't a DD - so it's another plant/nature name.

Bunbaker · 29/12/2011 09:58

"What's the use of a middle name?"

As Mary has just pointed out it can prevent medical mix ups. DD was in hospital with two girls that had the same christian and surnames. The nurse told me that middle names came in very useful in situations like that.

Where I work used to use the middle initial as part of our email addresses as well.

It's a good point about mail as well. I have a friend whose family all have the same initial so potentially a letter for P Smith could be opened by any one of four people.

My uncle used his middle name as his first name because he was named after his father. Using his middle name instead made it easy to identify him.

In general I think it makes it easier for identification procedures where you need to go through several identity checks when talking to a bank or other similar organisation.

OH and his sister don't have middle names because MIL thinks they are for "posh people".

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