Not even set a date

[difficulttimes]

Got engaged at xmas not getting married for a couple of years though need to get in shape I'm a big hippo ATM,

WIBU to tell who I want to be maid of honour before we've even set date??

A lot can happen in 2 years, I wouldnt say anything for now.

I wouldn't do it until you actually start the planning.

I did, we are getting married next year (seems rather close now) and i had chosen bridesmaids, maid of honour everything before we set the date. In fact we've been engaged for 2 plus years now and those roles were already decided the second i said yes, and of course i informed said people.

Congratulations on your engagement

I also got engaged at Xmas (congratulations btw) were planning on getting married at some point in 2013. I've already told my maid of honour's. I've known for years who it would be and we've had hypothetical discussions about it in the past.

I don't get why you wouldn't tell them?

Thanks

Congrats too Broom

was just worried its too soon

Its never to soon

I wouldn't. My so-called best friend swore blind I would be her chief bridesmaid. I introduced her to her husband, encouraged things when they weren't sure how each other felt, had them each crying on my shoulder during the bad times, had been friends with her throughout our teenage years (so about 8 years when she got married)

I barely even got invited to the wedding. I was sat for the meal with a group of random distant relatives while our mutual friendship group whooped it up at the front. Neither of them spoke to me until nearly midnight apart from in the line up going into the reception.

We're no longer friends. That wasn't the only incident to kill the friendship but it was definitely more of a boulder than a straw breaking the camel's back!!

We got engaged a year ago & plan to marry in 2014 for a variety of reasons. Both my bridesmaids have already been asked , too excited to wait!

Congratulations

How come that happened purple??

Sorry it did, going through something similar. Its very sad.

What are your plans, OP? Are you going to go to a slimming club or do it yourself or what?

You're not the only one wanting to change your body shape - inspire us!

Check out the youanddyourwedding forum for lots of tales of people who asked too soon, and are trying to ditch useless bridesmaids. You don't need to ask them immediately. Allow them to enjoy your fantastic news and perhaps check that they are all happy and excited for you first.

Friend went to uni but dropped out after a year, husband isn't the academic type; I'm a year younger, couldn't afford to go see her then went off myself as she came home - they proceeded to decide I was up my own arse and snobbish. I'd come home specifically to see them and they'd pick me up to go to the pub... I timed it once, it took them 45 minutes to ask how I was. They'd pick each others spots rather than ask me a question.

Friend would ask for my support in losing weight, then go out for late night takeaway, then get arsey with me for not eating - I don't like fast food, especially not for dinner, supper and breakfast all in a row! One of her reasons for demoting me was because she didn't feel comfortable with somone skinny like me helping her in and out of her dress (I'm a curvy 12-14 so hardly a rake!)

By the time it got the the wedding, I'd got fed up of alternately spending money on train fares so that they could go to the pub and be bought drinks by me while I was ignored andbeing blamed for the friendship failing and her low self esteem. By the time it got to the wedding, we'd drifted apart and they just weren't worth the hassle

I'm not saying that's what will happen to you and your bridesmaids, just that situations change and you may unintentionally hurt and upset people if you change your mind later.

Depends who you want as maid of honour. My sis was the one and only bridesmaid at my first wedding.

If the engagement ring DP gave me this Christmas ever translates into a wedding, she will be my bridesmaid again. I don't need to ask her, DSIS is my best friend and would rightly assume her place if she is needed. (Eloping is an option).

I think if you know who you are having, it is sometimes best to get that out in the open as soon as possible, because if there are a few likely contenders, you may suddenly find those people are lot more friendly towards you... in a rather fake way! ... It does also stop people making assumptions and getting upset if they are disappointed.

I think I may have to join a slimming club ick no good t weight loss,

Ooh I'll check out you and your wedding forum thanks for that.

Congrats OP (but can't conceal a bit of )

I'd be inclined to let the initial excitement subside just a little unless you are 100% certain about who you want as bridesmaids and are equally certain that nothing will occur over the next couple of years to change your mind.

I've visited the wedding forum mentioned (someone wanted photographic advice) and it was positively stuffed with posts about "sacking" (horrible word!) bridesmaids who, for various reasons, weren't coming up to expectations.

Also, if you aren't getting married for 2 years, I'd advise enjoying the planning of the wedding bit by bit rather making the majority of the decisions now.

PS. Congrats though!

I have sent a message to tell the maid of honour, I was certain who she was going to be

Thanks