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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off with DP's sister?

29 replies

NearlyMrsCustardsHardHat · 28/12/2011 17:22

I don't know if i'm pissed off with her or him or with myself but i'm sure you lot can help me fathom this one out!

Jist is DP got me a cheapy Clinton Cards teddy for Christmas, that is it. We didn't see his sister (16) until boxing day when I saw him putting £50 (she asked for money as most teens do) in a card for her as her present I rolled my eyes and ignored it but had a right sulk on the rest of the day Blush that would shame a toddler.

DP's sister has taken my children out today to buy them gifts for their christmas presents, she brought them home, plastic crap and teddies in hand and proudly announced that she'd used the money DP had given her to buy the stuff.

AIBU to think that had I wanted another £50 worth of plastic crap and teddies in the house I would have bought them myself for the kids? AIBU to be pissed off with the pair of them or should I put up and shut up that she did what is ultimately a lovely gesture and aim my vitriol at my cheapskate DP? Or should I get a cob on because both of them should have sorted out their Christmas presents BEFORE today?

I think i'm far more hurt over this thoughtless teddy than I first thought Blush

OP posts:
SuePurblybiltbyElves · 28/12/2011 17:24

She spent her money on your children - that is a nice thing. Your DP is an arse.

slavetofilofax · 28/12/2011 17:25

You should be cross with your dp, not his sister.

troisgarcons · 28/12/2011 17:25

I think it's nice of her to spend her Christmas money on your children TBH. It's also nice of her to want to be lugging about smaller kids for the day.

When you say 'P' do you mean a live in 'P' or a BF?

SauvignonBlanche · 28/12/2011 17:26

I don't think YABU to be pissed off, I would be too, mostly with your DP.

dampanddrizzly · 28/12/2011 17:27

she was nice to spend HER money on YOUR kids - how can you fault her for that

she could have bought them a bar of chocolate each and spent the rest on herself

he is another issue .,......

Original poster
NearlyMrsCustardsHardHat · 28/12/2011 17:27

Troisgarcons Live in, soon to be married.

I'm inclined to agree that it's him i need to be mardy with not her. As you say she also took them out for a couple of hours and, at 16, did do a lovely thing. I think this Christmas hurt for one reason or another.

OP posts:
fluffytowels · 28/12/2011 17:30

Be pissed off with him, not her.

I always bought my nieces and nephews crap that their parents wouldn't. They live me Grin

Now they buy my children tat in return Grin

But a teddy for Christmas is a bit rubbish.

marriedandwreathedinholly · 28/12/2011 17:30

She sounds a lovely young girl. My DH has bank rolled one of his SILs for years (I have found out about £2k transfers in the past when she and her dp, who don't actually work for all of the wrong reasons, ie being creative and artistic, etc., have been behind with bills and unable to buy Xmas presents for their dc. Never, never has skiving, mean, lazy the esoteric and individualistic SIL ever knitted my dc a lentil cardigan bought either of my dc a present for their birthdays or for Christmas.

fluffytowels · 28/12/2011 17:30

Love me, not 'live'

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/12/2011 17:31

She sounds lovely. Him, not so much.

helenthemadex · 28/12/2011 17:34

I would be pissed at your p he obviously had some money that he could have spent on you, it didnt have to be big or expensive just thoughtful

his sister as others have said did a nice thing taking the kids out

mockingjay · 28/12/2011 19:23

She's only 16, and sounds great. I wouldn't have spent all my money on others at 16!

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 28/12/2011 19:27

I think she sounds lovely.

He sounds like a bit of an arse...

What did you get him for Christmas?

floweryblue · 28/12/2011 19:27

Why on earth would you be upset at DP's sis?

SantasENormaSnob · 28/12/2011 19:29

She sounds lovely.

He sounds shit.

troisgarcons · 28/12/2011 19:30

You all sound terribly young TBH.

HecateGoddessOfTwelfthNight · 28/12/2011 19:32

What a sweetheart. She is 16 years old. She is given £50 and she takes your children out and spends it on them.

She's lovely and you should not be at all cross with her.

Most 16 yr olds would have spent that money on themselves.

PurplePidjInAPearTree · 28/12/2011 19:32

She sounds like a real sweetie, tbh, sorry!

I would definitely be going spare at DP for giving his sis £50 and buying me a shitty teddy bear though Grin

TheFestiveWife · 28/12/2011 19:37

Wow, she sounds lovely, especially at the age of 16 to spend her own money on your kids. Your DP is an arse.

zest01 · 28/12/2011 20:55

It depends - what did you get DP for xmas? I would be pretty annoyed to get a teddy for xmas from DH, not because of he cost but because it seems a really odd thing to buy a grown woman but that's just me.

Perhaps you and DP should agree a budget for gifts next year so you an spend about the same on each other.

The sister sounds sweet though, I don't think you can b annoyed with her

olibeansmummy · 28/12/2011 21:01

You definitely shouldn't be pissed off with her. She took your kids out, giving you a break and I'm sure they had a lovely time and selflessly spend her Christmas money on them. It's your 'd'p you need to be having words with.

skybluepearl · 28/12/2011 21:07

make sure he gives her amazon vouchers next year and maybe you could drop some big hints about kiddie gifts?

sassyminder · 28/12/2011 21:14

Probably your partner thought he was being romantic. Probably he spends more money on during the year than he will ever spend on HIS sister who is only 16.
I think you have been very childish.
Just start to see xams in other light like a time to spend with your family, relaxing, eating good food together, making the children - and even teens - happy because they are still full of dreams.
Don't get too caught up on the commercial side of Xmas.
The present your partner gives you for xmas does not measure his feelings for you.
You should be glad he is such a generous man and have such a lovely sister TBH.

sassyminder · 28/12/2011 21:15

spend more money on YOU than he ever will on HIS sister , should I say

wherearemysocks · 28/12/2011 21:17

My dh doesn't always get pressies quite right but I can always tell that he has put some thought into it and made an effort. I would not be happy at all with a teddy bear from Clinton Cards.

The in-laws however put far less thought into dc's pressies (bag of pic and mix last year, haven't seen them yet this Christmas) so I think your sil (to be) sounds lovley.