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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that younger is not the same as behind?

12 replies

Noopypappy · 27/12/2011 20:22

Another MIL thread sorry.

My MIL has two grandsons, with mine being the younger by 7 months.

She insists on saying my son is 'behind' her DD's son. She doesn't mean behind in terms of hitting milestones later (he generally has hit them earlier fwiw) she means he doesn't do the same things that the older child does.

AIBU in being irritated by having my ds described as behind, when he is simply younger? Because I am blimming irritated.

OP posts:
Bethshine82 · 27/12/2011 20:24

No it would annoy me too. 7 months is a big gap when they are little. Why doesnt she say younger instead of behind?

SmegmaNotJustForChristmas · 27/12/2011 20:26

It's rude no matter what. But if she is talking about babies- comparing the to is beyond stupid. And I would make a point that if so and so was crawling at 6 months and yours was crawling at he's actually ahead.

But I'm petty like that Grin

Marshy · 27/12/2011 20:26

Get your DH to have a word - very irritating, I agree, but she probably doesn't realise she's doing it

GypsyMoth · 27/12/2011 20:29

How old are they?

Xales · 27/12/2011 20:30

Lol just wave your hand vaguely and say you are sure your DS will have caught up by the time he is 21

Original poster
Noopypappy · 27/12/2011 20:35

My nephew is 2 next month and my ds is 16 months. Tbh I think it is being said to needle me. It is being said in the presence of my DH but he doesn't notice the subtle (and intentional) nuances.

OP posts:
racingheart · 27/12/2011 20:37

Then don't rise to it. At best she's just being thick, at worst she's trying to wind you up. Don't give her the pleasure of succeeding. Either way she's wrong and her opinion is irrelevant, so ignore it.

Marshy · 27/12/2011 20:41

IME men don't tend to notice these things. If you ask him to have a word and she continues, at least you will know there's more to it than thoughtlessness...............not sure what you'll do then, though!

You are right that younger is not the same as behind. Try not to stress about it - easier said than done, I know

elliejjtiny · 27/12/2011 21:49

I hate it when people do that. I would just point out to your MIL how much less wrinkly etc you are than her, how much more energetic and when she points out that she is older just say yes and so is your nephew.

OldLadyKnowsSantaClaus · 27/12/2011 21:54

I'm wondering if it might have something to do with her dialect? Because thinking of my own childhood, I could "hear" people say things like that without the slightest trace of malice, though I quite understand the meaning imputed by the Op too.

Goldenbear · 27/12/2011 21:57

YANBU. My Dad used to remark on the childish reactions of my DS in comparison to my nephew - he is 10 months older! I kept reminding him of the age difference and now he will actually argue this with my SIL who used to make quite a few comments on her son's development being on target as opposed to my son who seemed to have babyish tastes like wanting Postman Pat toys when he was 2 or still liking Fireman Sam when be was 3 or not being able to dress himself at 2.

UniS · 27/12/2011 23:16

Irritating isn;t it.... DS who is an only has a cousin who is 6 months older and has older sibs...MIL is very keen on comparingt hem, this weekend she managed to be proud that cousin has lost two teeth to DSs one!!! FFS, its not a competition. Its also no surprise that cousin is into clothes and style etc, they are a girl with older sisters.... Backa year ago when DS was doing speech therapy I got very bored of hearing about DCousins long chats on the phone..

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