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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Over a duvet cover? Yes, i probably am...

55 replies

deemented · 27/12/2011 18:34

So, Manshape and i swapped bedrooms with DS2, DS3 and DSS a few weeks ago so that they'd have much more room to play etc. DSS sleeps in the bottom bunk when he's here, which is every other weekend and a night or two during the week - much more in the holidays. We asked how they wanted it decorated and did as they wished.

DSS is into Top Gear, and likes the Stig. He also loves yellow New York Taxi's.

For Christmas we got him a huge framed photo of a NYC cab and a clock to match. We also got him a Stig duvet cover. We just wanted him to have familiar things in his room so he'd feel more at home, iyswim.

DSS was delighted with everything he got for Christmas - we had him Christmas morning, and he went home to his mum mid afternoon.

Yesterday his mum, Manshapes ex, rang demanding to know why we wouldn't let him take all his presents home with him. We explained that we hadn't stopped him at all, but some things we wanted to keep here, for the above reason. We let him take home his new camera and MP3 player, which the ex wasn't happy with (but thats a while other thread) and the new clothes he had and chocolate/sweets etc.

So today she has rung again demanding that we bring up his Stig duvet cover because she only has one for him, and it's a Wheres Wally one and she thinks it's too childish for him (he's 12).

I mean really - who only has one bloody duvet cover to their name? And tbh i think she's only saying this to piss us off as DSS sleeps in a double bed at her house.

So, i've said no.

AIBU?

OP posts:
theincredibequeenofwands · 27/12/2011 18:35

Bless her, what a fruitloop.

Christmas does weird things to people!

CailinDana · 27/12/2011 18:36

YANBU. Why does she want a single duvet for a double bed? Did you ask her? If your DSS wanted it in his mum's house that'd be another thing, but seeing as he doesn't then it's none of her business. She sounds like a loony.

manticlimactic · 27/12/2011 18:36

No YANBU

PeaceofCakeAndGoodWineToAllMN · 27/12/2011 18:36

No, YANBU. The poor lad needs some things for him to play with whilst he's with you. As for the quilt cover, now she's just being petty.

needanewname · 27/12/2011 18:36

Nope nbu at all she is. Did you provide other duvet covers for her before? Nope, thought not. Tell her in the nicest possible way to take a running jump!

OldLadyKnowsSantaClaus · 27/12/2011 18:37

YADNUAA! I bought dgs a bed, bedding and bedlinen for his Xmas (he's here with his dad 3 nights a week) and his mum can go whistle if she thinks she's getting her hands on any of it!

Winkly · 27/12/2011 18:37

YANBU.

troisgarcons · 27/12/2011 18:37

Just ay the room is furnished for him, and it isn't a present per se.

PS. Whats with the 'manshape' thing?

OldLadyKnowsSantaClaus · 27/12/2011 18:38

Damn, missed a letter. YANBU.

Kayano · 27/12/2011 18:40

What the actual fuck?

Yanbu the cheeky cow

Pancakeflipper · 27/12/2011 18:40

You can get a Where's Wally duvet cover for a double sized bed?

OldLadyKnowsSantaClaus · 27/12/2011 18:43

Perhaps he has a double bed but single duvet?

Original poster
deemented · 27/12/2011 18:45

Thanks all - good to know i'm NBU - i had thought with the whole hormonal pregnancy thing i might have been.

It just pisses me off, her sense of entitlement.

When we dropped DSS off on Christmas day, she said to manshape 'Oh you'll stay ad put up his pool table, won't you?' - this despite us telling her that we had to get straight back because we'd left the other three kids with my dad. And her elder son, who's in his 20's and her boyfriend sat there.

She's also kicked off because the camera and MP3 player we got DSS we got engraved with his name - she went mad when she saw it wanting to know why, so i told her the truth - so the she wouldn't be able to pawn them on him, like she does his x-box or PSP.

And breathe...

OP posts:
Sparklingbaubles · 27/12/2011 18:45

YANBU. Tell her to go and buy him a new one herself Angry

alistron1 · 27/12/2011 18:45

YANBU. Just remember that the word 'no' is a complete sentence if she keeps asking for the duvet cover.

GypsyMoth · 27/12/2011 18:51

Some people do only have the one duvet cover, quite judgmental of you there tbh

What was on the bed before stig? Can she gave that one instead? Might stop her in her tracks?

MrsCampbellBlack · 27/12/2011 18:52

Yanbu

Sparklingbaubles · 27/12/2011 18:54

This thread has made me think what sort of step-mum I would make in these sort of circumstances. I think I would spend my whole time in a rage. Sad

tigerlillyd02 · 27/12/2011 18:56

YANBU

thefroggy · 27/12/2011 18:56

YANBU. My ds has nothing at his dad's "you're not keeping your shit here" I believe were his exact words. You have already been more than reasonable allowing him to take gifts home if that's what she does with them Shock

Sparklingbaubles · 27/12/2011 18:59

Years ago I knew someone with stepchildren. When they came for the weekend they would change into the clothes kept there and on the Sunday evening change back to go back to their Mums. Is that unusual?

zest01 · 27/12/2011 19:01

yanbu at all. Dsk's cannot take things home unfortunately they have been forbidden. They have ignored the rule in the past and the items have been accidentally broken/shrunk in the wash/lost by their Mum so they can't do it now.

under the circumstances yab v reasonable to let him take ANYTHING home!!!

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 27/12/2011 19:02

Hmm, Dickhead and I have all this to come.

I think furnishings should stay in the house, easily portable stuff should go with the child.

Dickhead has bought a PS3 for the boys at his house, we have a Wii, so he can buy PS3 games and I can buy Wii games, etc.

Haven't thought about clothes yet, but unless they all carry an overweekend bag to school, I think they'll have to have clothes for his house. What do you do, Dee?

I think DS1 is getting a Kindle from his dad, I assume that will move around with DS1, not much point otherwise?

Sparklingbaubles · 27/12/2011 19:04

It must be so hard. I hadn't really thought about it all before.

Original poster
deemented · 27/12/2011 19:04

Sparklingbaubles - TBH we do that too. But only because the clothes she sends him in are near enough rags. Trousers three inches too short, T-shirts that don't fit, and on one memorable occasion, her knickers in place of his boxers - apparently, none of his were clean.

Littlest - stonking idea. I am more then willing to do that.

OP posts: