To take advantage of my son's laid back nature?

[itsbrandybutterandtinseltime]

DS is 14 months, and is a BIG sleeper. This holiday, he seems to have slipped into his own 'holiday' mode and I've let him. He sleeps 6pm-8/9am and still has a nap between 12-2pm. We don't do much, we go out for a walk in the afternoon maybe for a walk/play in the park/do a few chores/visit some friends but in the morning he does little else than come in our bed, nibble on a bit of toast and roll about laughing at his feet.

Is this lazy parenting? My friend seemed shocked that I let him do what he wants and implied I should be doing more day trips and structured activities with him to stimulate him, or he might turn out badly. Another lady I know on FB with a child of the same age is literally always taking her dc out to places (her page is loaded with photos of said activities) and 'doing stuff'. They are always out to dinner or visiting some educational wonder. I feel a bit crap now...

What do you think? Thanks in advance.

Tirn out bad if not over stimulated?

Please get your friend online - this is one line I must hear justified!!!

*Turn

Meh, who cares.

There is no right or wrong way.

trois the way it was explained to me, she said children are likely to be naughty if they're not kept occupied and this will snowball over time, and that's how you get kids being so naughty etc.

Others will correct me I'm sure - but the way to prevent "naughtiness" is to have a safe and loving home life, with plenty of boundaries. I'm afraid an on tap diet of structured activites is there for the parents "look-at-me-I'm-so-wonderful".

I really don't think because you haven't enrolled him in a montessori or started violin lessons yet means he's going to end up smoking dope and holding up people at knife point to fund his habit.

In my school gate experience, those parents who do the three or four activities end up with fractious, tired and resentful children who would rather do much less but have some quality time with parents. Because if you are bunging them on a horse for an hour you arent actually spending that hour with them. Watching them. But not with them.

My 50p says: your friend will end up with a brat

I think your friend has got it a little bit confused OP.

Some children behave badly when they are bored or cooped up, yes, just as some children are happy to amuse themselves more and don't need as much outdoors time as other children.

If a child is the outdoors/easily bored type, they will let you know.

I think the wise thing to do is to listen to your child. If they show signs of being content, as your DC is, then you are doing a great job. After all, most parents want their DC to feel content/happy.

Maybe your friend is a tiny bit jealous of your laid back DS? Is she constantly running around after her DC, wishing she could slow down?

Your friend is talking bollocks, ignore and enjoy your DS. Reason I know she is talking bollocks is he is like my DS was at his age and at 8 as he is now, he's just fine.

Please do not worry.

DS1 (now 19) was like that - just a very happy, settled child who loved to sleep. Along came DS2 who was completely the opposite!!

Both are happy, healthy and have done very well academically.

As for involving them in lots of activities - a bit of advice DS2 gave me just recently when we were discussing holidays we had been on, places we had visited when they were young. . .

"I don't know why you bothered doing anything with us up until we were about 5 because we just can't remember any of it"

Blargh - your baby, your life, your choice. It sounds like you do have structure, routine and boundaries - ones that suit you, your baby, and your life.

Stuff your friend.

Enjoy it while it lasts!

DD1 was like this and now, at 3, starts the day with "I want breakfast, take me downstairs, where are you taking me to play today? I want to go and see my friends, I want to go to the park".

It's very tiring!

YADNBU. You are letting your baby lead you, imvho thats great. Make the most of it and enjoy.

Does your friend actually have children? I often reflect on the fact that when my little ones were little, it was the people without children who were most free with their advice and opinions. Oh, the irony of that still raises a dry laugh now.

You are responding to you child, and your child's behaviour/personality - and the way that fits with yours. Just as Ms. Lotsofactivities is probably responding to hers. We are all different. Likewise children.

Frankly, most people would be prepared to, if not actually kill, certainly make some small sacrifice or offering in return for a child who is is calm and rests a lot. Be happy. Relax. It may just be a phase, so enjoy it while it's here.

As to the whole turning-into-a-hoodie-if-no-early-years-suzuki-lessons ... Well, trois has answered that sensibly, so I am simply going to invite you to join me in a "knowing smirk". Your friend is, simply, wrong.

I also have a 14 mo ds who sleeps 7pm to 9am and has a 2hr afternoon nap. today we have pottered in the garden for a bit as the weather is nice. When he wakes up from his nap we'll do a bit more pottering inside. He's happy. tomorrow we may do the same. We're just enjoying spending the week together as a family, no rushing here and there, just having a giggle together. nothing wrong with that, I say just go with the flow. It won't be like this next week when we're back in work / nursery

Oooohh think I recognise you from anti natal threads patsy October 2010? I used to be jazziejeff. Hope you're well xx

I think it sounds like you are doing exactly the right thing for your happy and laid-back little boy.

Am very envious as I have a 22-month-old who still often wakes around 6am and needs lots of running around outside.

Much better to have a laid back kid than one in a strict regimented routine of day trips and constant stimulation imo. My mate has a 7 month old and she won't let her dh get up with baby in mornings as all her dh will do is sit and cuddle baby and won't give it enough stimulation!!! Wtf?!!! Like half hour cuddle in the morning ever turned a kid into a no brainer! I reckon some parents totally overthink this constant stimulation crap.
Go as you are OP you and babe both sound happy

Your style of parenting sounds very similair to mine! What the heck would a tiny baby get out of visiting a museum? There is all the time in the world for exciting trips out when he is older.

I had very lazy/sleepy babies, the eldest of which is now 14 and her weekly schedule now includes Cadets (twice a week) Rangers, Music lesson and riding lesson (she also stays all day at the stables to help out). This is on top of studying for her 11 GCSE's.

Let babies be babies!

He is a baby how much day trips can you do with a baby and before people come back with oooh there is loads , He is a baby still , your friend sounds very active and there is nothing wrong with that but there is also nothing wrong with doing what your doing , by the summer your baby will be a bit bigger more active and you can do more , MY youngest dd now nearly 14 was a lazy baby , she could sleep on a cliff edge and i let her , she isnt a lazy teenager shes quite actve etc etc ,

Sounds like you all have a lovely time. I think as long as you continue to be led by him (eg when he's at the running around stage he may need a run around every day, if we weren't out at least once a day my DS was a nightmare from around 3 till, erm, now) then you'll continue to have a lovely time. I love the thought of him rolling round laughing at his feet btw

I was just thinking about starting a thread like this

My DS is 20 months and much the same. He's a natural potterer, I reckon, and in truth we don't do a whole lot. He's very happy though!

Have had a few comments lately from others though that had me feeling guilty. So it's great to read this thread, ta

My Daughter is 3 months old, and some days, she lies on my bed with me whilst i was stealing series 8 of Desperate Housewives off the internet.

I say make the most of it, soon you'll have to entertain him all the time, i know you'll probably enjoy it, but i can imagine its fucking exausting. Everybody loves lazy days!

See he can walk (and run very badly); hence why the conversation started and I started worrying. He does need fresh air like all children do, so we try to get out in the park and get him on the swings etc. I thought having a toddler was going to be waaaay more tiring and exciting!

Thanks for all the replies

It's perfectly fine in my opinion. I may be biased because I have a 'lazy' baby. Or had one, he's 2.1 now. He would sleep 7pm-10am then by about 11:30am he was back in bed until 2pm. Then he'd be awake from 2 till bedtime. I honestly thought at the time there was something wrong with him, although certainly wasn't complaining. Life was and still is extremely easy with him!

I've only just started doing some activities with DS - once he turned 2 I joined a load of groups as I want to socially prepare him for things like nursery next year. He's still quite happy just to be at home doing his own thing, although does enjoy the groups. He's certainly not had a lack of stimulation. Babies often don't need any more stimulating than the stimulation their parents offer and they're so busy taking in their immediate surroundings and trying to figure them out.

By 19 months DS knew his alphabet, phonics and can tell you what letter and sound most things begin with. Well, unless it's a difficult "ch" sound or something, he's not grasped that. He can sing around 20 songs on his own, his speech has always been fantastic and he's talking in clear sentences, his manners are automatic. And above all, he's extremely well behaved. Other than getting a bit mardy when he's tired, there's honestly nothing at all I can complain about with him.

The reason for it I think is he had the opportunity to stay home and learn from me. Had he been given daily activities outside the home over stimulated by other things I think he would have struggled more to take in what I was doing with him.

Relax and enjoy it! And feel very lucky :)