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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To need reassurance/some stern words that every family has their moments of discord at Christmas

17 replies

Sarem · 27/12/2011 08:53

all in all Christmas day was good, but there were three moments of discord - ds had a tantrum, later he trampled over dd2s toys so I got cross with him which in turn upset dd1 who wants everything to be perfect,later again dh and I disagreed over what do over return or not of a toy that didn't work. But in-between long stretches of everybody fine, talking, playing ... Same yesterday, all mostly good but dh and I got annoys with each other when trying to get dds sewing machine going, and ds had a few tantrums. So, all normal yes and no reason to think Christmas was ruined yes? I need perspective don't I! I just get sucked into this belief that everybody else is blissfully happy wit not a single cross word spoken at all.

OP posts:

Selks · 27/12/2011 08:58

In my experience, if you kind of forget about the moments of discord then your memory of Christmas will be a rosy one!
Sounds like a very normal and very good Christmas in reality.

Animation · 27/12/2011 09:21

Yes - think there's a big pressure at Christmas to be pretty one dimensional niceand feel bad if the other aspects to ourselves come through.

We had only one incident of 'discord' on Christmas Day IN THE KITCHEN, and one on Boxing day IN THE LOUNGE. Not bad going.

Original poster

Sarem · 27/12/2011 10:39

So nobody else?

OP posts:

ILoveSanta · 27/12/2011 10:44

Sounds fine to me, DS had a spell on the silly step for being a little shit a little bit too overexcited and throwing something when he had been told not to. It's all part of the fun, it's an exciting time for kids, so of course they wind themselves up a bit too much. And as for adults, well the stress of planning the day a decanting it to go well is enough to almost certainly ensure a few fraught moments.

I for one got annoyed with my hubby for refusing to move when I wanted to set up my Kinect on Christmas night and it kept picking him up!

chubbybunny · 27/12/2011 10:45

Yes, strops, words, swears, tantrums, hissy fits, sulking, not speaking, fighting, shouting, skulking, sibling pushing, all before lunch here.

Things improved later.

Sort of.

ClaraSage · 27/12/2011 10:46

Of course, we had lots of 'moments', I have 2 teens ! Plus DH pissed me off several times throughout the day.
It is all part of the 'joys' of Christmas.
Too much pressure to be 'jolly'.
Merry Christmas !

twentyten · 27/12/2011 10:51

Yes it's like that everywhere. Noone lives in a John Lewis or m@s ad. Expectations so high- we are all human. If anyone says their Christmas was perfect they are lying!!!!!!

SixFeetUnder · 27/12/2011 12:38

My eldest (4) was a bit stroppy all day but that's fairly normal tbh!

DH has been pissing me off at various points since Xmas Eve but we bicker and forget about it - pretty normal.

And I've just had a war break out over Hungry Hippos

Your house sounds normal, don't worry so much. Did you enjoy yourself and have a nice Christmas?

TeWihara · 27/12/2011 12:41

Everyone has moments. DD declared she didn't want Christmas a nd had a strop because she didn't like the christmas table cloth

It wouldn't be real if it was perfect.

TamIAm · 27/12/2011 12:47

Sounds like a normal family Christmas to me.

'My' moments were: Several with children (DD is 6 and DS is 3.5 - and had just gotten over a bout of gastro, so was whingy and whiney and clingy all day, plus refused to sleep because we weren't at home).

Lunch at my parent's was an hour's drive away and DH and I had a fight in the car on the way down. Nothing major and I can't actually remember what it was over now, but remember being mightily pissed off.

A discussion about a cousin who is an absent father to his young son but makes out like he's father of the year turned a bit nasty between my sister and I.

My (drunk) father rile my (sick) son up to the point of hysterics in the early evening, prompting me to, quite gently, I thought, tell him to lay off as DS was not feeling well - which caused my father to stalk off to bed at 7pm.

None of the above 'ruined' Christmas. It's all just par for the course with families. They were odd blots of family normality of the day. The rest of it was lovely, and it's those bits that I'll remember in days and weeks to come.

Besom · 27/12/2011 12:56

Dh and I had a sprout related squabble.

And later on a bit of a disagreement over which/if any game to play.

All quite normal, I hope.

zest01 · 27/12/2011 17:08

We had illness, a bit of silliness from DS2 and a bit of falling out btween DD2 and DS3 as part of our normal happy family xmas

rhondajean · 27/12/2011 17:15

No discord this year - mostly because DH and DDs were too busy being ill!

I did get the bristles up at mil when after me making soup and pate, buying two desserts, lugging turkey from markies, and DH cooking it all on the day despite feeling unwell, she ate it all then said, oh you'd have been just as well getting a takeaway.

She meant cos of hassle and expense but she came round today and said it twice again. Had to leave the room. Feel bad for being upset but I do feel a bit unappreciated, went to mega hassle and expense and it was all for her, cos she was bereaved this year, usually we do just get takeaway. I know she didn't mean it like that and feel very petty...

JjandtheBean · 27/12/2011 17:23

Well christmas morning started with dd aged 3 having some time on the naughty step, shed scribbled all over her new pram, doll, herself and the floor, said pram and doll were confiscated until she said sorry.

Ds had a mild melt down when we informed him only mil and fil were visiting (he prefers my mum)

And me and dp had stern words whilst angrily (sp) scrubbing fake fecking snow off the floor, it goes like wall paper paste apparently

And mil upset me so I spent 30 odd minutes crying in the bathroom late evening resulting in dp only grunting in response to anything she said.

However we did have a nice day.

Original poster

Sarem · 27/12/2011 17:50

Phew

OP posts:

mrspepperpotty · 27/12/2011 18:02

I threatened to send DD to her room if she couldn't sit nicely at the table. DS1 said 'I'm bored' several times despite the big pile of presents in front of him. I spent a few minutes ranting in an angry whisper to DH about his mum while he kept saying 'yes yes I know, but why are you cross with me??'. And there was a bit of prevarication around bedtime (more than usual, I mean).

All in all a very nice chilled out Christmas!

Pursang · 27/12/2011 19:31

DD was awful. Even though she is only just 2, and I can completely understand that she felt a bit overwhelmed etc. I still felt a bit :( that she wasn't having the most fun ever ever. Tantrums, not sharing toys, hitting 1 year old DS, the works. And refused Christmas dinner, which DH got really stressed about because my mum had cooked it, but for peace's sake I renamed the celebration 'Crisp-mas Day', mother didn't mind at all, DD munched away and cheered up immensely in the afternoon and all's well that end's well - ish. :o

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