to always feel a bit short changed by Christmas?

[thefroggy]

I look forward to it, think it's going to be oh so great, cant wait to see the kids' faces when they open their pressies, get unreasonably excited about it (considering i'm in my thirties), but somehow, I always feel a bit, well, deflated afterwards.

I always picture it as families together, granny dozing on the sofa, uncle Tony making terrible jokes, playing charades against your will, visiting relatives and friends with bags of gifts blah blah etc.

But I dont really have much family, it wasn't large to start with, and most of them are hundreds of miles away or dead. None of us are very close.

When I was a child we didn't really celebrate Christmas so i'm not entirely sure what Christmas should be like.

Not feeling sorry for myself as such, more wondering if perhaps I expect too much from the day

What do you all do at Christmas?

1. Do the 'build up' - talk about Santa, the sleigh, blah di blah. Get out Christmas themed reading books for bedtime, involve the child(ren) in picking out a gift for siblings etc. Participation in daft things like going to a Xmas panto (my dd goes to one each year with her school) also helps.
2. Buy presents. Unfortunately this is a must. It can be a good idea to get some things you know they will like / have asked for (which may be plastic tat, but hey) and some other gifts which are things that are Heducational or books, board games etc. Good mix is important.
3. Only three things are important on Xmas day. a) ooooh look presents yippee! b) lovely big scrummy dinner and eating what you like - we have quality street for breafast c) Have a good time. Laugh. Wear a stupid hat. Roll around on the floor pretending to be a sausage. Fart. Giggle. Enjoy.

We have only me, dh and dd. But we do have a good Xmas. I don't give a toss what I get, and when my lovely in-laws were with us, I can't imagine that I ever would have moaned about gifts or lack of same (but as I say, they were lovely, so I am lucky)

It can also help to get a bit tiddly during the day, and I find that letting dh do the (very simple bog standard) dinner has helped take the stress of 'making it perfect' off a lot. Saying that I still get anxious every year. But I do have a good time.

And if there is something that you really, really want for Xmas, buy it yourself and get your dp to wrap it. Problem solved, remember to look surprised and overcomethough!

Sorry for the huuuuuuuuuuuge reply...

(and no probs with huge reply) I do all that with the kids (or did, until ds turned into a grotty teen). Dd is nearly 8 and on the edge of believing.

I tend to drink hardly anything at Christmas because I dont want to miss a moment with the dc and dinner makes me sleepy enough!

I dont have a dh, or a dp, or a bf...or a granny or uncle Tony wearing a tacky jumper but feel I should

I'd go for Xmas lunch somewhere else next year. Give your teen someone to impress (hopefully under 70).

I worked in hotels for years, & we had families coming back time & time again for weird pursuits like Boxing Day Welly Wanging, but also things like midnight carols.

You'll find a bad uncle, a mad granny & someone for your daughter to moon over.

Book a 3 day thing & you won't even have to cook.

With no other adults to mess it up - you are in Xmas control! No mad auntie Enid insisting your teen wear the horrendous jumper she's hand knitted...

Seriously though if it feels a bit lonely, invite a friend over maybe? We have no 'close' family for our dd, but we do have dh's mate who has no kids and is therefore very tolerant of all the gibberish dd spouts as she happily uses him as a climbing frame...

But maybe with your other child being on the edge of believing (boo!) you need to redefine Xmas a bit for yourself?

It's been just me and ds 16 for the last few years and it's lovely.
I'm quite far from family, though it is an option to go if I want to, and I had a lovely Christmas with my brother and his family a few years ago.
But tbh, me and ds have a great day with loads of food and wine (for me) and only have to please ourselves.
And at 16 he still loves it.
Just have your own traditions, you can even get a grumpy teen to enjoy Christmas day.