What Goes Around...What Cr*p

[teahouse]

AIBU to be totally fed up with people writing/saying 'what goes around, come around'.

My ExH lied to me, and cheated on me for years. He married his OW, and they are happily married with a DS, and a large social circle.

I have been single pretty much ever since I left (over a decade ago), and have a non-existent social life as I have spent my time bringing up our kids and getting myself a career.

He lives in a huge house, has several holidays a year, and reguarly updates his car.

I struggle to afford my tiny little place, have had 3 trips away/holidays in 11 years, and couldn't afford to change my car even if I wanted to.

Please don't insult me by going on about the crp notion of 'instant karma' - what goes around, doesn't come around; mostly nasty bastrds seem to do pretty well!

I'm sure you are a better person with a clearer concsiance - is that an improvement on "whatgoes around......"?

I agree, it's a stupid thing to say. Best thing is just to keep your head down and ignore ignore ignore, get on with your own thing.

YANBU.

what i find especially irritating is when people say, 'Ah, but guilt is its own karma' - what a load of twunk. bet your ex doesn't feel too bad about things!

'The devil looks after his own' is the one I believe in. Bad people do indeed seem to live a charmed life it seems.

what is weird for me with these sayings is that people who are non-religious use them, as if the universe cares about us at all.

On the other hand, I do know some people who act like total shitheads to everyone they know, and generally these people are deeply unhappy. Bet a lot aren't though.

When you and Ex are both old and lonely and decrepit, you will be the parent your DCs think about visiting.

That's mine as well Lunatic, people said it to us and it never helped.

I hate this saying too, as if all the crap that happens in my life is somehow karma ect!!
I have a belief in god and like the scripture that say that "god tests no man"

I don't believe in karma either.
Would teahouse want to still be with her ex though even with his big house etc?
It never bothers me how wealthy exboyfriends/ husbands are. If they don't love me any more usually I have stopped loving them/ was deluded into thinking a relationship was better than it was and am happier without them.
I have never totally stopped work to raise kids though.
Some people drift happily and easily through life and others struggle. On the other hand the wealthiest people I know aren't the happiness so I think you do make your own happiness to an extent by your outlook on life/ having interests etc.

Good things come to those who wait. Bollocks it does.

I have always lived by the belief that there is no point dwelling on what others have/dont have. Life is what you make of it yourself. Pointless to waste energy begrudging other people's lives.

If you want to date, get a babysitter, go out and date. Nobody has forced you to stay in for the last 11 years.

I do actually believe it, honestly.

Instant karma is rare; I do believe that eventually what you deal out will be meted back out to you. I've seen it happen to some lovely people. :)

You see what is on show to the outside world. You have no true idea what is going on behind their closed doors.

The one I don't believe in is "It is better to have loved & lost than never have loved at all". What a crock!

Aw, no, I agree with that one coffeesleeve. Imagine how lonely it would be never having known love. Of course it hurts when a relationship ends/someone dies, but it has to be better than never having been loved.

OP . Life isn't fair sometimes.

T

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Crap....what doesn't kill you can leave you with a nasty scar more like.

I agree. Bitches do better! Unfortunately.

YANBU

Men generally do VERY well financially after divorce.

Women, if they maintain custody as they usually do, struggle.

It's bloody awful.

I do think what goes around comes around, but I think it is a state of mind rather than actual events or visible retribution. I waste no time on ex-partners who went off to have a fabulous life, because my life wasn't fabulous with them else we would still be together, and now it is fabulous regardless of what is happening with them. The freedom of not giving a toss.

There is one cliche that IS true... Living well is the best revenge.

People say it because they need to believe that the shits in this world will get what they deserve and that being a bastard comes back to bite you in the arse in the end.

It is better than accepting that the universe is fundamentally unfair, doesn't give a shit and someone can go through their whole life treating those around them with total contempt and never ever have a days bad luck, while someone else can be a saint and have every bad thing it is possible to happen - happen to them.

So we choose to tell ourselves and others that bastards come a cropper in the end. It's the only way we can cope with it, particularly when we are on the receiving end of their bastardliness.

I dunno yellowraincoat... for me, love led to 6 years of therapy the first time round, and being totally and utterly dicked around in the worst way the second time around. My most satisfying relationships have been with men with whom we've both agreed not to say ILY. My current beau is fantastic, we think the world of each other and I hope he's there for the long term. But love? Nah, not for me!

I love my cat, though ;-)