AIBU or is my sister?

[ModreB]

My sister's DP has 2 DC with his ex. DC's were with ex for Xmas day, as arranged, nothing controversial there.

Sister and her DP had brought the DC2 a laptop for Xmas, which the ex knew about. DC2 rang up on Xmas afternoon, to say that the present from the ex was an I-Pad. (Laptop was going to be a suprise)

When hearing this, Sis then said "Well, give her the laptop, but it doesn't go home with her" Her DP was much more laid back about the whole thing.

My question is, AIBU to say if you are giving something as a gift, then you don't give it with conditions. If the DC gift was a laptop, then surely it is up to the DC where it goes and whether it is taken to her other home as well?

I must admit that this is not the first time that I have been a bit about Sis's attitude to the ex and the DC's. Sis has no children of her own, and I don't think that she "gets" it IYSWIM.

I think it's none of your business.

Your sister is being unreasonable and childish.

Those are some expensive presents! But I agree, none of your business.

The whole point of a laptop is that it is portable and goes wherever you go.

Can I add that I didn't express my opinion, or interfere in the conversation. Just thought to myself.

Ermm none of your business really but maybe your sister didn't want to undermine the ex by sending the children home with a laptop?

No, Sis seems to have a huge resentment about the ex and the DC's. Not sure why, although there have been issues with the ex wanting everything on her terms all the time.

BTW - Sis met her DP several years after he split with the ex so was not involved with the split.

The kids are there several days each week, her DP works nights and he also has them during the school hols when the ex goes to work. During term time they are there after school 3 days until the ex finishes work, overnight once or twice a week and all day every Saturday - ie 10am - 6pm.

There has never been an issue with things like phones and Nintendo's etc, the ex only lives 5 min away so it's not as if they are carting stuff about all the time. I just worry that she is turning into a wicked stepmother type, the DC's are lovely kids and she is quite hard on them. We have been on holiday with them before, so I have seen this over quite a period of time.

After all the extra information, it seems the laptop/iPad is the least of the problems!

FWIW, we ask that DSS doesn't take some things to his mums as we would never see it again, and it is not fair for us to have to buy new clothes every weekend he is here because he gets dropped off in school uniform. We do allow him to take games and stuff with him. Don't know about laptops etc as haven't bought anything of this magnitude before.

You cant do homework on an iPad. You have to have a machine that has Word on it so it is compatible with the schools network. The laptop will be more than useful and the kids should be able to take it home.

I am in two minds about this - as in principle, yes, DC2 should be able to take a portable present home with her, but can see why your sister would think there's no need for DC2 to have 2 internet enabled screens at her house! It would be possible but a faff to do homework on an Ipad, you would need to have a keyboard attachment for it, the software isn't the issue as these days there are free downloads like OpenOffice that will be compatible with the MsOffice.