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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think Father Christmas only goes to one house per child?

28 replies

notveryinventive · 26/12/2011 11:59

Get up yesterday Father Christmas had been for the DCs.

Went to MIL's "Look what Father Christmas has brought you here"
Went to my parents, my dad tells the children how he got up at 5, but Father Christmas had not been so he went back to bed and when he got up later he had been with the DCs presents.

Surely FC comes to the children's houses and any other presents from people living at different addresses such as GPs are from them not Father Christmas. Or do other children have Father Christmas go to different addresses for them?

Also can I have another AIBU in the same thread? Well I am anyway

AIBU to ask MIL to limit presents to 5 each next year? I know she is their GP and she loves her DGCs to bits and she cant help herself, but when we went yesterday there was present after present after present and they kept coming for each DC. I dont want to be over-run with toys them to be too spoiled.

Thanks

OP posts:

TheUnsinkableTitanic · 26/12/2011 12:01

could have wrote this myself

what makes it worse only one set of grandparents do this

think DC are too young too twig at the moment

i just smile and see what i can stop them from opening as it goes in the christmas recycling drawer/need something for DC as its a rainy day (last year some weren't opened until the following october!)

so YANBU

LovingChristmas · 26/12/2011 12:04

Depends really, coming from a family with a DSS, Santa went to his mums and our house (his dads) so we all got to share the magic, it was lovely at around the age of 6 or 7 he used to ring us at 6:30 all excited saying Santa had been to his mums and had he been to ours, DH made a big thing of getting out of bed (whilst on the phone) going downstairs and saying yep, Santa's been here too, and then DSS yelling to his mum, "it's ok Santa been to both", not for greed by the way just that it was always acknowledged he'd got two houses, so therefore Santa must know this (he's now 13 so no santa now ).

But ours is slightly different than GP's

fluffytowels · 26/12/2011 12:09

Yes, I don't like FC going to other houses (two parents' houses different though).

I also get pissed off with the complications people invent around it. My standard line is 'I don't know, I've never met him to ask, it's just magic'. None of this parents buying the presents and FC just delivering them, none of this parents sending FC money business.

If you start to inject logical scenarios the whole thing falls apart.

Rant over.

Gonzo33 · 26/12/2011 12:10

I agree with you on the Santa going to GP's house as being too much. Santa only visited me at home when I was a child, so think that is enough.

However, I have a dss and if we are having him at ours for Christmas Santa will leave a present for him here as well as at his Mum's. Same in reverse for my ds when he goes to his fathers for Christmas day.

Disputandum · 26/12/2011 12:11

This irritates me too.

All of our family live on the doorstep so I don't know why they can't drop presents off before the big day so that DC can find them under the tree; we have to visit four different houses to see whether Santa has visited them all.

The one year I broached the subject, BIL didn't give DC anything for Christmas at all, but bought two presents on their birthdays in October/November (one of which was wrapped in Christmas paper) so I didn't mention it again.

I think he wanted to see them open their presents...different story now he has DC though.

changingnicknameforxmas · 26/12/2011 12:14

FC came to my kids at their dads and he also left stuff here.

Original poster

notveryinventive · 26/12/2011 12:16

I never thought of the child having two addresses thing, but that is different to FC visiting houses that the DC's dont live at. Of course FC goes to both parents houses.

Lovely story Loving about having to go downstairs while on the phone to see if he had been there as well.

Good idea TheUnsinkableTitanic about not opening them all. That would work if they werent passed to DCs and MIL wanting to see them open everything.

OP posts:

FrostyTheCrunchyFrog · 26/12/2011 12:20

Does my head in! XH arrived at my house yesterday with his gifts - "here are santa's presents from daddy."

AmberLeaf · 26/12/2011 12:23

I can understand not wanting them to have too many toys etc, but on the grand scheme of things does it really matter ?

Obviously the Grandparents want to be a part of the 'magic' and it really doesnt last long [ive just had what will prob be our last Father Christmas xmas] in no time at all the DCs will be teen aged grunters.

I dont think there are any 'rules' re FC that are set in stone [seeing as its not real anyway!] its just adaptable family to family.

I think some of you here sound like joyless miseries TBH.

Original poster

notveryinventive · 26/12/2011 12:34

Amber good point about them wanting to be involved in the magic of it all that true doesnt last very long.

Dont think it makes us joyless miseries though, just that why would FC leave his presents everywhere for the children? But then again I suppose that is getting into the logistics of it all.

OP posts:

prettyfly1 · 26/12/2011 12:39

Ok, on the Father Christmas thing - I dont know if you noticed but Father Christmas is an entirely fictional character designed to make the christmas season more magical for children. Therefore assigning set "rules" to how many houses santa visits etc seems somewhat redundant under the circumstances. He is not real therefore one more element to the fantasy doesnt seem to be any less right or wrong then any other part of the fantasy. If the kids are happy and feel special so be it.

It is a grandparents perogative to spoil their kids however if it is getting excessive just say that you are installing a maximum present rule throughout the family end of. Its nice that she wants to spoil the kids - I wish my horrible old trout of a mil would - and grandparents arent around forever so I totally get the whole "where are the presents going" idea but honestly there are worse things a grandparent can do at Christmas.

minimisschief · 26/12/2011 13:00

fc visited my grandparents as he knew we would be going there most of the day and couldn't take my pressies with me. So left some there.

he was considerate like that.

Why is this an issue?

Wallace · 26/12/2011 13:01

NIL used to do this.

"Ooh look what Santa left here for you!!"

Kids got a bit older: "But why does it say from Nanny and Grandad on it?"

NinkyNonker · 26/12/2011 13:03

My mum is insistent on doing a stocking from FC for dd next week...I've very nicely said that DH and I are fc (too many acronyms) and her stocking can be from her and my dad.

Original poster

notveryinventive · 26/12/2011 13:14

Its not necessarily an issue, Im just wanting to know if thats what happens in most places as to me it seems a bit wierd that he would as I thought FC went to childs house/houses and they also got presents off other people too like parents, grandparents etc. So I asked if I was being unreasonable thinking that he doesnt go to grandparents. If I thought that he shouldnt I would have said something to them by now (oldest is 6), but I wanted to ask if he does go to every house the child will visit or just to their own house or houses. It is a question I am asking because I would like an answer so next year I can either accept that he's been to the GPs or say to DCs that FC has not been there and that they are from GPs.

pretty sorry that your MIL doesnt get your DCs anything, but why should my MIL spoil my children too much by getting them tons and tons of things.

The whole over-run with them I wrote in my OP was a bit of a joke. Yes they are everywhere, but Im more concerned with them being too spoiled. There's being spoiled in a grandparent king of way and it going to far. Then again Im not a grandparent so dont know how it feels which is why Im asking if IABU. If so I will let MIL go mad and get them more than what we do.

OP posts:

Choufleur · 26/12/2011 16:19

Father christmas is very busy and sometimes has to leave presents with people he knows will pass the presents onto the child.

Grown ups are merely Santa's helpers, which is why I buy, wrap and then send presents to him to deliver.

LovingChristmas · 26/12/2011 16:27

Choufleur - my mum told me all presents come from adults as santa is very busy, but there are magic postboxes in town that only adults could see, that the elfs collected the presents from and delivered them to the North pole to make sure I'd got everything and it was ok, he then delivered them. I spent a long time looking at adults around Xmas time trying to figure out where the postboxes were and never did.

Loved the magic of it as well

Choufleur · 26/12/2011 16:49

I also have his phone number in case of an emergency or if DS is very very naughty. All mummies are given the number by the nurses when they have a baby - it's secret though and you can't possibly tell children. Love that DS believes all of this.

pugsandseals · 26/12/2011 16:51

YANBU - Santa should only visit the childs address not that banging my head up against a brick wall would convince my parents of this and not that of other relatives!

DD is 9 & got a few gifts from santa this year, but mainly presents 'the grown up way' under the tree. DD's presents from santa get left in her room.

I am waiting for the deluge of tat well thought out presents left at the grandparents by santa tomorrow. I will love sit with my mouth glued shut whiile DD opens it all & hope they go home again quickly!

lurkinginthebackground · 26/12/2011 17:03

My mum did the Santa visited her house too.
My pil always insisted that they had bought their own presents which might have made it awkward and they always insisted on being there when my dcs opened their presents from them.
My dcs no longer believe and it has been a complete relief tbh. No more awkward questions, I just tell the truth now.
As for the spoiling part it is quite awkward but on the whole it is probably better than being in a situation where your children get nothing.

mondayschild · 26/12/2011 17:45

I've been struggling with whether I'm BU about this too. PIL came round yesterday with loads of pressies for DS and as they were leaving, MIL announced that there are even more at their house "from Father Christmas". Now DS is only two atm but I am worried in future years this will be confusing, and might lead him to ask questions/spoil the magic. I also think he should say thankyou to the person who bought the gift. I also think it's a little bit unnessasry for him to have yet more presents. I could perhaps understand it a bit more if they didn't get to see him on the day, but they do every year without fail (and virtually every week through the year). An admittedly very childish and petulant part of me also thinks Father Christmas is something for parents to do, and they are intruding on it a little.

OTOH I am worried I am basically being a miserable bagage and that they just want to spoil DS/keep the magic going for longer. Am thinking of suggesting a new tradition where they keep one of their gifts under the tree at their house for when we visit at New Year so he still has an extra suprise to look forward to but he knows it's from them.

There's also a bizarre situation with SIL who also visited yesterday deciding that she wasn't going to give DS her 'proper' gift then, but keep it at PILs' to open there (she bought him a smaller gift to open). Don't know why but this has bothered me a bit. I don't expect her to get him anything, but if she does why not give it to him on xmas day if she's going to be seeing him rather than having xmas#2 at the ILs?

bebeinamanger · 26/12/2011 18:04

Infuriates me too YANBU!

MIL showed up today & first thing she says to DD is...'look what Father Christmas left at my house for you!' Way to go & confuse the 3 year old, well done! Of course you can't then say anything in front of the child for fear of them overhearing! We don't do the 'all presents are from Santa' thing here, he leaves one big present & stocking of goodies & all other things are from friends/family. So now DD is all confused as to why Granny didn't bring her anything. Not sure how best to tackle this one, but it's MIL all over!

So big symapthis to all with similar situations!

youarekidding · 26/12/2011 18:05

FC brings a few items for DS sack - it's a lovely cheap velvety (not really very big!) one he had for his first christmas which we put him in like a sleeping bag as it was cute!. He gets books, DVD, poundland activity books/toys in it all wrapped up from Santa.

His presents from me and aunts are under our tree xmas morning amd I agree with not mentioning how they got there as you have to keep up the pretense and try and explain it when other children say different.

We go to mum and dads for afternoon and presents from M/D and my brother/sister and their partners etc are there. (also the odd one from aunts that mum may have forgotten to give to me!)

This year my sister went to her partners for xmas, they have a 9wk old DS so couldn't do the 2 house thing this year, so we have had 'family' xmas all together today and exchanged gifts.

lurkinginthebackground · 26/12/2011 18:08

Bebe- Tha's one reason why I'm glad my dd stopped believing in Santa this year. We can stop all the nonsense and lying. At 3 you can get away with it but in a couple of years your dd will begin to question...well how come... and you really can do without the pressure of having to invent yet another cover story.

myBOYSareBONKERS · 26/12/2011 19:01

I think its ridiculous. They had their chance when their own children were small - its now your turn.

I personally wouldn't allow it to continue. They are just trying to out do you and its not fair

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