to feel sad following a conversation with my father.

[graceinabundance]

My father popped in to visit me this am. I dont know him terribly well, but we are on nice speaking terms, as adults.

He spoke in brief about his step sons girlfriend, who is 'nuts' (his words) and then at the end, he said she had been diagnosed as bi-polar. He is best shot of her according to my dad.

My children were around, vaguely playing, so I didnt feel I wanted to flare up a conversation about how I thought that was a crap way to speak about someone who is suffering from mental health issues like that.

Been there myself (not bipolar but depression).

In essence, he epitomises judgementalism of those with mental health issues and I didnt like it, it seemed so callous.

Its kinda saddened me. AIBU?

but I know you mean well too limitedperiodonly , emotive subject eh!

OP re your father, YANBU, I would leave your chat with him to after NY eve though.

Re '50+ age group' YABVVU and need educating

Don't agree it's just the over 50s who need educating, if anything, I've found older people to be more understanding.

I'm pushing 50 and have a child with mental health issues, we're not all dinosaurs.

Yellow we've been really lucky with my son I've really encouraged him to be open about his MH issues and other children have been so accepting, I think school age children today with the schools being mixed are also accepting, they see that children with many MH conditions are just the same as them only have other difficulties. It's our experience anyway.

Some will bully him for those differences though and that can be hell to manage though we got there in the end. Where he is now he's just him and accepted.

It's not really an age thing it is a willingness to be open to learning about MH IMO.

Though that's not helpful for the OP, she's too removed from the young lady with bipolar and even the father to be able to do much. I would tell him not to refer to those with mental health issues as nuts in front of my child/ren though.

Fifty is not old but it is old enough to have seen a little life and to see the impact that MH issues can have on partners and children.

I think your father's comments and the way he phrased himself was wrong. However, at 50 I have seen the impact of bi-polar disease on three families. In one the wife is affected and the husband does his best to keep things organised, to keep the children on message and to appease parents and teachers at school due to his wife's inappropriate comments and unrealistic expectations. In another the husband is affected and is far removed from the young man his wife married. He is now a stay at home husband and just about comes from day to day; his wife works full time in a demanding corporate job because her husband is unable to work.

The saddest family I knew years ago, a dear friend married a bi-polar man, he worked his way through her capital, built up horrendous debts and at 29 being unable to cope any more she, not he, committed suicide.

I would be heartbroken if either of my children marry a partner who becomes and is diagnosed with a significant mental illness. If they knew of it before making a life long commitment I would counsel them strongly against it. Not because of any discriminatory trait but because they are my children, my life, the objects of depths of love I didn't know I had. As such I want their lives to be as simple and as staightforward and as happy as can be possible.