To wish my mum would realise I've changed since I was 15??

[Chesting]

When I was 15, i went through the goth phase. lots of black clothing, Marilyn Manson, questionable "art" and ornaments and of course, lots of "I am dead" style make-up.

I'm not 30 yet my mum and stepdad still go on like I'm still goth! if a witch comes on TV they say stuff like "oh look! Chesting!" or if some flick-haired emo goes past they nod and say "He was chesting's type!" Long, gothic victorian dresses in the fancy dress shop - apparantly I will be buying them. They go on and on and on about me being goth but really, that was 15 years ago!

Anyway, reason for mini-rant is that Christmas morning I upwrap a present from them which is an ornament depicting a gothic vampire type woman (with blue tint 'dead' looking skin!) crouched on a rock with great black wings. It's a calender thing where it has little blocks for the days and month and they're grey with black veins.

Now I hate to be ungrateful but really, I'm 30. My living room consists of lovely green flowered wallpaper, a forest in spring canvas, bright and cheerful cushions and a thick, bright rug. Where the hell and I going to put Angel of death?? Isn't it obvious that someone my age would have grown out of stuff like that??

They also got me a soap on a rope in the shape of a skull and a witch on a broomstick keyring.

They're NOT doing this as a joke btw, they genuinly think I like it. God knows how they don't realise when they come to my house and everything is as bright and cheerful as possible!

I am being unreasonable arnt I? it's just every christmas/birthday etc I end up with all this teenage boy stuff that I end up having to give to my son and then I have to lie when my mum comes around about where the stuff is.

I feel your pain. I was a fairly picky eater as a kid, and now aged 35 if I order anything other than fish fingers at a restaurant, I get "Ooo, when did you start eating (insert name of non toddler food like prawns)' you didn't used t eat that". Aargh!

Every Christmas and birthday my mum buys me jewellery that is never and has never been to my taste. Often expensive, always nothing like the stuff I wear. I have a jewellery box of the stuff, I wear none of it. I've tried to ask her on occassion not to buy me jewellery as our tastes are not the same, but she gets upset and thinks I'm being mean. Now I just wear it on the day she gives me it,say thank you and put it away. It's annoying, as it's such a waste of money, and to me it's the opposite of buying a present. Buying a present for me is thinking about what that person will like. I'd much rather have a bar of my favourite bar of chocolate than her spend it's of money on something I hate. She always mentions that it was expensive and carefully chosen. I think she must buy things that she wishes I'd like rather than what I do. Hohum

My mum bought me some wellie socks with twenty quid shoved in them. She on the other hand got lovely bag, matching purse, face cream, bucks fizz and some lovely blusher. Mums can be rubbish with presents!

You need to be very honest. I have learned the hard way that saying to my mum that idly saying when out shopping "Yes, that's a lovely scarf, teapot, sweater, dressing gown, hot water bottle cover, picture, kettle" whatever means that come Xmas day the bastard will appear in wrapping paper with a hopeful mum face hovering over it. You have to tell her. I now say "only for someone of your age or no, I'd rather poke my eye out than own that" in response to these overtures.

and by the way mum, I know I'm only 49 and three quarters so you might not have quite got this but I don't and never have liked SPROUTS.

Rant over

ssd - my (now passed away ) grandad was showing me a knife that he'd had since the year dot.

He wouldn't let me touch it, he held it in front of me and let me look, because "It's sharp, duck."

I was a thirty-something mother of two

Oh, and my sister tells me how my mum rang her up to tell her to wrap up warm cos it's cold.

My sister with the teenage daughter

That calendar thingy is fairly tasteless even if you were still secretly a bit goth.

They're obviously not very observant. You'll have to tell them, or you'll have many more years of this to come.

You're not alone though - husband's aunty (who lives miles away, we haven't seen her for years) buys him an item of clothing every year. Size Small. He has actually grown since he was 15 - he's 6ft 2 and getting rapidly wider. The Small clothes do not fit. He is not brave enough to tell her!

My mum still makes me eat sprouts.

I didn't get her a present though, and she didn't get me one - we don't do presents in my family, except for children.

I quite liked that calendar thingy and I know a couple of my friends who would as well - but no yanbu to want your family to recognise who you are now as opposed to who you were.

Hecate - my dad won't let me make myself a sandwich in their house because the knives are 'sharp' - I have a bigger mortgage than they do - hence now a grown up!

Incidently... I nosed around that website, still being a bit on 'the dark side' myself and was tempted by a couple of things - until I saw that they had spelled 'fairies' as 'fairy's' ... my grammar nazi outwieghed my goth-wannabe!

A few years ago I went to the zoo with my mum and dad. My dad tried to buy me a child's ticket. I was about 25 at the time and had a ds . They do know what presents I like though.

My parents gave me back the soap that I gave my mother for her birthday, and a bar of chocolate that I used to like in 1990.

They gave DH approximately £50 of gifts from his Amazon wishlist

I am 38 and an old goth. I don't know how to be any other way and I'm very comfortable this way. My mum still tries to buy me girlly stuff when I'd really prefer a nice bag with a skull on it.

I have definitely got goth tendancies but that is hiddeous, I would not have it in my house.

I have a similar problem. I like cats, until recently I fostered cats for cats' protection and I have recently become a cat owner again.

But I like cats, not cat mugs, cat pictures, cat ornaments, cat .......... you get the idea but someone bought me a cat ornament which was quite nice so I out it on display (wooden carving) since then my mother has decided I like cat things and I hate them.

I find having a friend with a dog visiting helps - dogs are great for wagging their tails and nocking ornaments down, they sometimes chew soap and may even run off with something and bury it in the garden completely ruining it. Even friends imaginary dogs can do this. Or friend's children who just "loved it so much I had to give it to him"

You have to hint heavily. Disclaimer:The following is not my opinion on goth style or any other style, just a made up idea for the OP to say to her mum.
Maybe go over to visit one day and casually enter into the conversation that you were looking at old pics of yourself, and you cannot fathom how hideous you were in your goth stage. Go on a bit about how you just cringe thinking how you liked that sort of thing, the black lipstick etc. Then mention how you saw a woman who must be at least late 20's all goth and can't believe she is that immature to still be in that teen aged mind set.
Then add, by the way mum, in future, no more goth stuff, the thought of it makes my skin crawl! Please mum, I am begging you! With mock desperation!
?

How old is your son? Could he be primed to say "Oh thanks for that cool skull ornament, its not really Mums style nowadays so she gave it to me."
If you Mum comes around and asks where it is, say "Well it doesn't really go in here does it? So I've given it to DS."
Or get someone else to tell her,subtly.

We've got to do this subtly with an Aunt and Uncle that my kids would much prefer Amazon or iTune vouchers to book tokens (as we buy most books from Amazon, and if we try to use them at Waterstones their "computer isn't working"....everytime!).