Ok so me and my dad have an awkward relationship. He left my family when I was seven or eight and was a total twat about maintenance, childcare arrangements, horrible girlfriends, you name it. He didn't like the fact my mum remarried and had more children so used to let us down constantly to get at her. Anyway, I am now 28 and my brother is 26. For the past ten years my dad has been living with a woman and her teenage son ( who wasn't teenage when they met). About eight years ago he decided to introduce me to her. She didn't like me straight off. I was pregnant with my dd for one, and they were having fertility treatment to reverse my dads 20 year old vasectomy! As she wanted a child with him. She made catty comments about why werent we buying a house instead of renting etc, and eventually decided she couldn't cope with seeing me anymore and I wasn't to come to their house again. After meeting me twice.
I wasn't bothered anyway, used to coming second to dads latest lady friend. I had my new baby to concentrate on. Dad just came and went in and out of our lives as he pleased, sometimes being interested in dd sometimes just coming round to let off steam and talk to normal people for an hour ( his new partner is from another culture and her and her son speak to each other in their native language a lot which makes dad feel isolated) as he does love to spout off for hours. My partner and I view him with mild amusement and sometimes annoyance.
My mother died when dd was 18 months old in a tragic accident. My dad was initially heartbroken and very sorry, bought me beautiful flowers, made all sorts of promises bout being there for me and dd etc etc. it was comforting to know I still had a parent who cared iyswim. We kept our relationship the same, ie never t his house, only him visiting us etc. after bout five years we tried getting together for a Christmas meal with his partner but she was sulky and the night wasn't a success so I decided I didn't want to try anymore. The crunch came one night we were out for a meal and walked into a bar and they were there. Dads new partner immediately demanded that they leave and go elsewhere and he followed her like a lamb. I was mortified as DP's parents were with us and they tried hard to talk and be polite but she was having none of it.
So, we see dad when he fancies, at our house. As time goes on he is growing cocky and full of himself about his role in our family. For instance, at my dd's sixth birthday party in September he was sat with DP's parents and some other parents drinking wine in our dining room, while the kids played outside. He decided that the effect party conversation would be to state that my mother had a drink problem and was loosing her looks when she died at 45! I was 
and told him in no uncertain terms he was bang out of order. This was his granddaughters birthday which we has very lucky to be at, think of poor mum who would love to be there etc... He eventually apologised.
Getting to yesterday. All week he has been asking what to get dd for christmas. I told him exactly the thing and even had to get the Argos reference number and write it down for him! He has been rude and sulk about getting it to the point where I half felt like telling him to forget it. He is loaded and takes his go shopping all the time but this small item for a little girl appears to have been a massive effort for him to get. So, Friday he rings to come round and drop it off. I'm not in. I text him when I get home but no reply. Christmas eve he rings again. Dp has taken me and dd to town to browse and get little lat minute pressies. We are having a nice day. I tell him I will text when home. Do, we get home around five and dp goes off out for his christmasdrink with the lads. I am settling down at home, when a good friend of my mums pops round for a drink and to drop a little pressie for dd. she and my dad go way back and intensely dislike each other even after twenty years. My dad knocks on door. He barges in porch with present, all huffy at my unavailbility until now. I thank him and take the parcel from him, then mention that R is in the kitchen. He immediately storms off shouting merry Christmas over his shoulder sarcastically leaving me standing at the door nonplussed. I text him when she has gone to say why doesn't he come back and see dd before bed. No reply. He doesn't live far.
So Christmas day night. He calls to gruffly ask I put dd on the phone which I do. She is happy with her toys bla bla. He then passes back to me to say it has really hurt him that's turned him away at my door and well, I totally lost it. I am 8 months pregnant and he decided to ring me and make me feel like shit on Christmas day after we had given dd a lovely last christmas on her own before baby. My dd was upset, dp was worried (my blood pressure is bad ATM) and I am totally sickened my his self righteous rude attitude to a daughter who is not allowed in HIS house. He decrees what guests come in to my home. I wasn't about to turf the lady out because he arrived unannounced but I didn't turn my own dad away, he flounced off! AIBU? Sorry it's so long...