IABU. I know this. But I'm genuinely worried too and not sure how to handle this situation.
Basically I am at the in-laws on the continent for a week with dh and 18 month old dd. The plan was to spend Christmas with the family then on Tuesday dh and I are supposed to be leaving dd with the in-laws while we drive to the coast (couple of hours away), to stay in a lovely little hotel and have a romantic dinner, just the two of us, with a proper lie-in the next morning and a day to ourselves before driving back that afternoon/evening. We have both been looking forward to our little 24hr break so so much. We have never been able to leave dd overnight before because we have no family near, and we are both pretty worn out for various reasons.
So far, so good, but then yesterday MIL's mother had a bad fall and was taken into hospital. She has deteriorated rapidly and we have just heard this evening that there is to be a family meeting at the hospital on Tuesday to make decisions about how much intervention there should be if she continues to refuse to eat etc etc. Obviously MIL wants to be there with her brother and sisters for this meeting. The hospital is a long journey away and will involve her being out from lunchtime on Tuesday till late evening. She has told us we are not to miss our little trip, and she has arranged for SIL to come over on Tuesday to help FIL look after dd while she's away.
I don't for a second want her to not go to the meeting. And it's very kind of her to make alternative arrangements for dd's care, and very kind of SIL to agree to step in. But I just feel really unhappy about leaving dd with FIL and SIL. FIL means well but is quite clueless. SIL has a dd the same age as my daughter, but she has a very different approach to parenting - quite impatient, doesn't like changing nappies, gives her dd a bottle of milk with rice in for breakfast because it's 'quicker' etc etc. But most importantly, dd just doesn't really know her. MIL has spent time the last few days getting to know dd's routine, reading her stories etc etc so that dd is comfortable being left with her. SIL was not expecting to be looking after dd, so although she was here yesterday afternoon and this morning, dd hasn't really got to know her.
MIL would be mortified if we didn't make our trip to the coast. And I absolutely don't want her to miss her important family meeting. But I dread to think how dd is going to feel being left with FIL and SIL. I keep imagining her crying because her food/routine/bedtime scenario is different and she's wondering where mummy and daddy are, and who these strange people are who are trying to put her to bed in a place she's only just getting familiar with. I can't sleep for worrying about it, but I can't see a way out of this. Any wise words welcome, or even just a bunch of you telling me to stop being so bloody selfish and daft would probably help me snap out of it. Thanks.
Sorry so long.