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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think this was a RUBBISH Christmas day?

21 replies

Cathycomehome · 25/12/2011 20:18

This is long and I may be being over sensitive.

We went to my parents' house today, where one of my brothers, his girlfriend and her 5 year old son have been for the past 2 days (they live in Latvia, she is Russian). When we arrived, at 11.30, mum was frazzled cooking dinner and looking after small (exclusively Russian speaking) child. Mum asks me to take over entertaining of 5 year old as she has been looking after him since 7.30; his mum and my brother are still in bed at this point. So my 11 year old son plays with the little boy and we help mum with bits and poeces and my elderly grandad. My brother and his girlfriend surface at about 12.30, and come down and plonk themselves in sitting room with drinks.

We get to dinner time, and there is a small table and main table (we are 10 altogether. I am happy to sit at small table with children (the 2 of them). However, my brother insists that his stepson sits at main table, and no other adult wants to sit at small table, so a space is squeezed in at main table for another brother, leaving my son and I essentially excluded from the meal, as they proceed to pull crackers etc, and forget to pass us any veg, gravy.

I asked at one point if perhaps MY son might like to pull a cracker with the others, and my youngest brother (the one with the small stepson) tells me to "Fuck right off, and stop bloody moaning!!!!!" He has drunk everything available by this point.

My oldest brother, my son's godfather, didn't bother to buy his only nephew (my son) a card, let alone even a token gift. After the meal, my brother's girlfriend went back off to bed, leaving her son downstairs, where I played with him whilst two of my brothers played football with my son, having been nagged to do so.

Sorry this was long and ranty, but these things, along with various other minor irritations have made me feel pretty pissed off with the whole experience.

OP posts:
JustAnother · 25/12/2011 20:23

Sorry you had a horrible day. Did your parents not say anything? I hope you are home now and enjoying the rest of the day.

Cathycomehome · 25/12/2011 20:27

Home, thank God. I think my mum and dad were really just desperate to avoid a row, and appease youngest twat of a brother and his rude girlfriend (who DOES speak perfectly good english).

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DorisIsMerryOnChristmasSprits · 25/12/2011 20:28

Next year invite your parents to yours your selfish and unpleasant brothers can fend for themselves (that's if your parents aren't part of the problem too).

I'm all for a large family gatheringBUT when it's as unequal i.e. a couple of you get shat on from a great height to deal with the childcare cooking etc then tbh you would be so much better off having a nice small christmas with your son. You choose what you do and when.

They can only take the piss as long as you let them.

dementedma · 25/12/2011 20:28

oh dear, how mean to make you and your dS feel excluded. I hope you have a lovely boxing day together and leave your selfish brothers to themselves!

DorisIsMerryOnChristmasSprits · 25/12/2011 20:29

Hope you have a much better evening!

ScarlettIsWalking · 25/12/2011 20:29

They sound bloody awful. You are NOT being oversensitive!

missmiss · 25/12/2011 20:31

That sounds rubbish, to be fair. Can you have a nice relaxing evening now? I hope you/DS got some decent presents!

Cathycomehome · 25/12/2011 20:34

Thanks - I didn't know if I was maybe taking things too seriously, but my son was very quiet and felt a bit miserable, and my partner made me laugh by whispering "See - we thought MY parents' house might be tricky!"

I am also pregnant and maybe a bit more emotional than usual.

Next year, all being well, there will be four of us, and we have agreed to spend Christmas here and just visit relations. Briefly. Grin

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GypsyMoth · 25/12/2011 20:34

I would gave gone and got her out of bed and told her to come and interact with her son!!

And your brother swore at you and nobody intervened?

GypsyMoth · 25/12/2011 20:34

Or your partner even? Nobody stuck up for you?

Cathycomehome · 25/12/2011 20:35

We also had to watch small boy opening a sack of presents for nearly an hour, before my son opened his bits and pieces...as everyone except us and my parents went off to get more drinks.

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Cathycomehome · 25/12/2011 20:37

My partner said "You KNOW he's likely bto be awful - ignore him for your mum's sake". Partner forced to sit at main table to avoid confrontation with youngest brother, who was most insistent about this.

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ginmakesitallok · 25/12/2011 20:38

Didn't your partner think to sit at the other table with you?? Confused It does sound pretty shit, but there's still time left to enjoy the holidays

Cathycomehome · 25/12/2011 20:40

Partner did actually talk to us excluded ones, at least, but it would've involved an argument with idiot brother if he had tried to make any kind of stand.

Actually, come to think of it, sans idiot brother and rude girlfiend, everything would have been problem free, I guess. (Although godparent brother's lack of ANYTHING for my son was a nice bit of icing on the cake).

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BandOMothers · 25/12/2011 20:44

God how does your Mother feel about it all? She must be fuming too? Sorry it wass shit...if I were you though, I would stand up for myself a bit more!

Cathycomehome · 25/12/2011 20:47

Ha! Just noticed I accidentally typed "girlfiend" in above post! Freudian slip??

Think Mum was upset actually, but just desperate to avoid any confrontation, esp as very elderly grandpa was there.

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Figgyrollsintoapudding · 25/12/2011 20:47

Not sticking up for your older brother in the slightest but men are generally shit at presents for children, when they don't have any or another half to buy them. But that is the only even vague excuse I can come with.

The rest sounds properly rubbish and what is so important about younger brother and his rude gf? I am assuming nothing but that he is a shithead?

Cathycomehome · 25/12/2011 20:53

Oldest brother has a partner expecting a baby in January, so may excuse him through not having much money, but he could've managed a bloody card. Maybe with a fiver in it. He had enough money to go down the pub last night, apparently.

Rude girlfriend IS very rude, IMO, but it's also a bit harsh on her non English speaking son to be left alone with a bunch of people who, except for my brother, he has known for all of 2 days this time and the week my parents spent in Latvia last Summer.

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lurkinginthebackground · 25/12/2011 20:53

I would do what Doris says next year.

Cathycomehome · 25/12/2011 20:55

I, too, think Doris' suggestion sensible. My mother was heard to mutter "never again" at one point, so....

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Cathycomehome · 25/12/2011 21:20

Mild guilt feeling. My mother just rang. Oldest brother HAD bought a voucher, but thought he had lost it. Just found it in car. THAT one is forgiven... glad was not vocal about lack of card/gift

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