to be upset at my son being a miserable twonk !

[Dinkiedoo]

son came over yesterday ...face like a wt week .said he was tired. cooked an amazing roast gave him some small pressies etc .
he has got up this morning in his usual humour.....narky.Have asked him whats up. he says he doesnt feel too well.upset tummy. now have been accused of nagging ........bloody kids ...I wouldnt mind he is 23.
I know he has had a hard week or so ..a friends dad died and I think he has split with his girlfriend but why take it out on me ??

How long was he with his gf? Poor bloke, at christmas too.

I feel sorry for him too, think you should back off a bit.. sounds he's going through the mill a bit

Poor lad, it's horrible feeling crap at Christmas without everything else he's had to deal with in the last week too.

poor him, you should be nice to him

If I wasn't feeling well I'd be grumpy too yabu

'but why take it out on me ??'

You have my sympathy, but you know the answer to your question don't you?
It's because you're his mother, the one person he can count on when everything is going wrong, and the person most likely to forgive rude and grumpy behaviour. If he's being truly horrible, point out that he can go home to be unpleasant on his own.
But I'd be tempted to ignore the current poor behaviour and give him time to realise he's being a prat.

Leave him be and just let him know you're there for him if he needs it. I know you're not the cause of it, but he has had a pretty crap week and these things always hit harder at times like Christmas. It's not fair to expect him to pretend he's not hurting.

Ive been nothing but nice but keep getting my head bitten off !

Shuffle him towards his room and tell him to come and find you if he wants to talk.
Install yourself on sofa with tv remote and box of chocs.
Job done.

This time of year can be stressful and unpleasant just because there are so many expectations of it. It's just another day, really.

Leave him be, dumped, someone has died and he feels ill. Give him space but take.the remote and.a.glass of.wine for yourself.

Hmm. TBH, at 23 I would not have been rude and grumpy to my mum if I'd turned up ill, she'd fed me and looked after me, even if I'd split up with a serious partner.

This bloke is allowed to be upset and moody of course, but naturally his mood is going to upset the people around him. All the OP says is is she BU to be upset - and of course she's not.

At 23 he is surely old enough to be treated like an adult - OP why not ask him what he'd actually like you to do, eg., does he just want to be left alone, in which case you'll get on without him, or does he want to be included in things even though he's feeling rotten, or what? I have to say beating round the bush does annoy me (irrationally) when I'm upset so perhaps that's why he felt it was nagging - he'll probably feel bad about it later though.

You can't fix his life with a nice dinner and some presents. You may well be getting on his tits through trying.

Just sit down with your baileys and get on with having a nice day, and leave him be.

If he wants you then he'll come to you.

son has gone home now. he has made it up with girlfriend and is a lot happier.
I dont think asking him if he wants a drink when he arrived or if he wanted gravy on his dinner is any reason to get "on his tits" If he dooesnt talk I dont probe as he is a moody bugger at the best of times.
He stayed off work the last few days . I think he is stressed to death with his job and needs a break but money is very short . I have offered to go halves on a weekend break for him and GF to get some r and r .He says he feels unsafe where he lives . Im truly worried about him but its a cruel world and he wil have to find some way to deal with it .