to actually not give the bloody DDs their stockings? They are horrid and don't deserve anything.

[CarolCervix]

vile horrid brats are refusing to

a. go to bed.

b. put out a mince pie and carrot.

How old are they?

At least you are a good mother and have carrots. DS has made do with broccoli.

I'll swap for DS...

He pooped on the floor earlier. :(

13 and 15

horrible children. where's the fucking magic gone?

OK - now go on to google and search for portable north pole and set up a video mesg from santa. it will take five mins and will have lots of info about your kids - they will be completely taken in. Also Santa has a naughty or nice machine that he will put your child file through. You can choose naughty outcome - and santa will then tell your kids that they still have time to be good and that they must behave.

gosh - 13 and 15. the portable north pole wont work I imagine!!

no more magical footprints no more nibbled carrot no more last glass of cava

and i'm bloody knackered and want to go to bed and they are wtching bloody TV adn when am i going to do the blasted stockings?

My friend made me a video on PNP. Apparently I have to stop fucking swearing like a son of a bitch...

Tell them you're going to bed in 5 minutes and if they dont get their arses upstairs they'll be no presents for them in the morning.

Bloody hell - 13 and 15? Isn't now the time to give in and admit it's just a (nice) story? Put the presents out, go to bed with a glass of wine, and let them sort themselves out!

more sobbing.

its no good. i'm going to have to have a couple more babies so it lasts a bit longer. i can't bear it.

What you need to do is shit on the doorstep and when they step in it in the morning, tell them it was rudolf. That'll put the magic back for them.

pull yourself together woman!

dh wanted to do his first ever 'food for santa and rudolf' spiel with our dc's but i cooked all the carrots earlier.

you'll just have to get up at 5am to do the stockings

I have a 2yo you can borrow.

At 13 and 15, there's no need for a 5am rise to deposit stockings. 9.30 will be quite early enough.

I have imported a 10 year old nephew to keep the magic a bit longer, but he is just excited about presents, how many and who has the biggest :(

Teenagers tuck me into bed. And bring rum

i'm at the maudlin stage of cava over-indulgence.

i want magic and babies and stuff.

or a kitten. i'd quite like a kitten.

i'm going to bed. will set alarm for 4 to get up and do stockings.

the buggers will get bloody drunken magic footprints too. and i will eat a sodding carrot. and leave bloody hoofprints and scatter bloody some everywhere.

there will be magic!!!!!!

obviously not bloody footprints. that would be weird and macabre.i mean like snowy ones.