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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off at my partner?

17 replies

yellowraincoat · 24/12/2011 13:20

Although it's Christmas, I am working away marking exam papers. It's the first time I've used the programme and I've had loads of problems with it, so quite stressed out and not done half the number I'd hoped.

Partner is at his mum's for Christmas, he just called me and asked me to send something for him that he sold on ebay. I said I couldn't as I had loads to do and anyway, the post office by our house is shut. He said that since I was the one who listed the stuff on ebay (which I did, but as a favour for him, not because it's my stuff), I should be the one to post it.

I'm not being unreasonable, am I? I'm so pissed off at him.

OP posts:
jalopy · 24/12/2011 13:33

I'd sell him on ebay.

HeidiKat · 24/12/2011 13:43

Surely all post offices shut at lunchtime on saturdayan does he expect you to send it by carrier pigeon? Tell him to stop being such a lazy arse and list his own stuff in future.

LesserOfTwoWeevils · 24/12/2011 13:47

YANBU. So what if you listed it? Are you getting the money for it?

Original poster
yellowraincoat · 24/12/2011 13:47

Maybe I will jalopy.

This is the last straw for me doing favours for him, HeidiKat. We've had issues with this before, I'll do something for him and he won't say thank you and it really annoys me. He works much longer hours than me so I don't mind doing more stuff around the house, but at the moment, I'm the one who's working, while he sits about being fed by his mum.

So, yes, from now on, if he wants something doing, he can do it himself until he learns to be polite.

Don't tell me to leave the bastard, he's lovely in many many ways, but sometimes I wonder how he is so self-centred.

OP posts:
Original poster
yellowraincoat · 24/12/2011 13:48

No, Lesser, I really doubt I'll be seeing any of the money. Fair enough, it's his stuff, but I had known he was going to be so ungrateful, I wouldn't have offered to help him out.

OP posts:
nomoreheels · 24/12/2011 14:05

He was a complete twunt there. We sell a lot on eBay & I have helped out DP with listing & posting, even though he got the money - but he was very grateful.

DoMeDon · 24/12/2011 14:08

YANBU - he is being rude and selfish. It sounds like you let him be selfish though. You put too much on offer. Only do things for people if you are happy to do it without any apprecaition, then when you don't get it you won't be upset. Equally you need to explain this properly to him - if he is lovely he will listen and react accordingly.

Original poster
yellowraincoat · 24/12/2011 14:26

You're right DoMeDon. I had really low self esteem when we met and I do offer to do too much. I'm getting a lot better now though and he really doesn't take advantage of me.

I suppose I just want to do favours and have favours done for me because for me, it's a way of showing I love him. But I suppose if I am expecting appreciation for it, it's a little sketchy.

Maybe part of the problem is that I have no idea what is appropriate and what is not.

Sigh. This was meant to just be a venting AIBU and now I've got myself in a tizz.

Should get back to work, thanks for the replies, guys.

OP posts:
BastedTurkey · 24/12/2011 14:28

He's selfish and yanbu

DoMeDon · 24/12/2011 14:41

I know - it's my curse Wink It is nice to do things for each other and a loving way to express affection. The problem comes when you do things with expectation. Expectation of appreciation or reciprocation. It may not be a lot to ask but it is daft to do it. He asked a lot of you- put them on ebay, post them- sounds like he always asks a lot and you do it because you justify it to yourself- because he works more or you like doing it. Fact is you are doing too much and it falls flat when you need to be put first. Put yourself first more - either he will see it and think 'I want to put her first too' or he will not- if not - you will hopefully have built enoguh self esteem to tell him to poke it Smile

Original poster
yellowraincoat · 24/12/2011 14:48

He actually doesn't ask me to do very much - I offer to do things and he takes me up on it. I'm going to see what happens if I just stop doing things that benefit him.

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 24/12/2011 14:51

Sod your partner! IM your buyer and tell them you are late posting before you get negged !

Original poster
yellowraincoat · 24/12/2011 15:00

Er, sorry, troisgarcons? I don't really get what you're talking about. If you mean I should message the buyer - that's not really my responsibility, it's my partner's. If he gets "negged" because he didn't take the parcel with him to be posted, that's not really my issue.

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 24/12/2011 15:02

Oh sorry - I was being flippant - if it's not your account and it's not you taking the negative FB for tawdry posting - then Meh! Most ebayers are Neg-neurotic Grin

Original poster
yellowraincoat · 24/12/2011 15:03

Oh right.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 24/12/2011 15:37

The Post Offices shut at lunchtime. Even if you'd managed to post something this morning for Laughing Boy, it wouldn't arrive till next week anyway.

Or were you meant to have it couriered to Penzance or Glasgow or wherever?

nicknamenotinuse · 24/12/2011 17:20

It's his stuff, he should post it. Lazy fecker.

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