Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to think that this is sinister behaviour on behalf of mil?

64 replies

heartofthesun · 24/12/2011 10:14

Namechanged.
I like my mil very much but something weird happened a few days ago I can't get my head around. It's seemingly trivial but strange.
Anyway, mil (is 78 and widowed) stopped overnight with us (dc's with my mum).
Anyway, the three of us went out for a meal. Dh let us back in the house with his keys which I distinctly remember him putting on the stairs. There's a lot of keys on the bunch-and a lot of knick-knack type stuff so you can't really miss them.
Mil decided to visit a friend. While she was out, dh had reason to go to car but we could not find keys anywhere, we both thought mil had taken them to let herself back in (fair enough). We listened to hear the key in the lock when she came back. We both think we heard it, but, when asked, mil said the door was on the catch and when asked if she had seen the keys and to think about whether she had seen them she replied that she had not.
Anyway, yesterday she calls to say that the keys were in her handbag (!)
I can't for the life of me see how a (large) bunch of keys found their way in there. Either she is playing a weird trick or losing it. I fear it's the latter as she is not vindictive. Perhaps I am being unreasonable to think this. I just don't know.

OP posts:
Original poster
heartofthesun · 24/12/2011 11:42

DoMeDon, Sorry, but I find your dismissive tone thoughtless, others are at least trying to find an explanation so fair enough, but, yeah, when two people are certain they heard a key in the lock then moments later ask the person who came into the house how they got in and did they take the keys and they say 'No' yet it turns out they had the keys all along, it does make you think if their short-term memory is a bit shot. Hmm

OP posts:
HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 24/12/2011 11:52

Maybe she fibbed about taking them because she was suddenly embarrassed she grabbed them wihtout asking beforehand?

Then she just forgot. Could happen to anyone (would probably happen to me).

pallymama · 24/12/2011 12:02

I'm in my 20's and I have done this! Friends house, friends keys. I even helped her look for them when we realised they were missing, checked my hand bag and thought I'd seen my own. Realised my mistake later at home, and felt like a right idiot! Blush

Slightly off topic, I thought sinister could also mean left handed? Or something like that. Xmas Confused

Original poster
heartofthesun · 24/12/2011 12:40

Yes, sinister is French for left-handed.

OP posts:
yellowraincoat · 24/12/2011 12:44

Sinister is a bit of an over-statement. What do you think she's planning?

I do stupid stuff like this all the time. Maybe she was just looking at them and then put them in her bag by mistake or heard you coming and hid them cos she knew you'd jump to the wrong conclusion.

LydiaWickham · 24/12/2011 12:47

Does your DH keep his keys on the stairs because his mum always left them there and it was just instinct for her to pick them up? Doesn't explain why she lied about opening the door with the keys, unless she thought you/DH would be angry that she'd taken the keys...

ThePathanKhansWitch · 24/12/2011 12:49

FFs she's getting on. Do behave. SinisterXmas Confused sheesh!

Mspontipine · 24/12/2011 12:53

Crikey - my family and I have an absolute nightmare with keys. I can let myself into my car then have to search frantically for the keys to start the car - how can someone lose their keys between opening a door and sitting down Xmas Grin

Mum and dad are the same. Last Christmas I managed to drive home with not one but both sets of my parents' keys in my pockets.

It's a key thing - that's all Xmas Grin

TopazMortmain · 24/12/2011 12:57

Sinister would be pentagrams on the walls and footprints going nowhere...

This is not so much sinister as absent minded key relocation... Wink

marriedandwreathedinholly · 24/12/2011 13:04

78 is getting on a bit. My mum is only 75 and sometimes doesn't know what day it is. My grandma started developing the early signs of dementia as young as her mid sixties looking back - and there were a fair few things similar to what your mum has just done to be honest. Give the lady a bit of slack.

DoMeDon · 24/12/2011 13:58

I hope you don't find it thoughtless - I actually put a lot of thought into telling you to get a grip and let it go. I didn't realise you were calling her left handed - that explains it all Hmm

Catslikehats · 24/12/2011 14:01

Seriously this is no big deal. If anything your interpretation is sinister Confused

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 24/12/2011 14:10

She might have done it so she'd have an excuse to see you again ? Xmas Sad

Sinister ? Nope!

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 24/12/2011 14:12

Sinister? Blimey. I have been known to put a pile of clean plates in the fridge instead of the cupboard and not remember a thing about it later - and I am not 78. This really is a non-story, you know.

"Whatever it is, I don't like it. Nasty feeling about it. Perhaps I am being irrational." You are, you know. It seems a v weird thing to have a 'nasty' feeling about - what exactly do you suspect, for goodness' sake?

BandOMothers · 24/12/2011 14:18

Xmas Confused Sinister? Nasty? An an almost 80 year old forgets what she did with the keys??

StealthPolarBear · 24/12/2011 14:52

Alzheimer's is sinister. I assume that's what the OP was referrring to.

etJeviensEntretesReindeers · 24/12/2011 15:00

I wonder about dementia.

It's clearly not normal but she told you when she found them, which is a good sign - that means she wasn't trying to steal your keys!

It could be a sign of failing memory. Yes, I would be concerned. Watch and see how she is from now on. Has she support near to where she lives? Would anyone be around to help her out if she did anything daft, like forgetting her own keys, or leaving the oven on and that sort of thing? I mean does she have any family nearer to home?

charitygirl · 24/12/2011 15:03

That isn't sinister at all!

[disappointed]

StealthPolarBear · 24/12/2011 15:04

One silly episode really is nothing to be concerned about. Just keep an eye on her.

LEttletownofBOFlehem · 24/12/2011 15:06

I think you've misapplied the word 'sinister' here. Do you mean 'worrying'?

sprinkles77 · 24/12/2011 15:23

If she has a history of dodgy MIL behaviour, I would be cynical about this. and change the locks (pom I love you!)
If she has a history of absent minded behaviour, and this is a pattern, then I would start to worry.
If neither I would put it down to experience but keep a look out for further concerning behaviour. oh and change the locks

lifechanger · 24/12/2011 15:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

biscuitmad · 24/12/2011 16:10

She might have had her mind on other things and put them in her bag thinking they were hers. My problem is leaving my keys in the front door Ive done it today and yesterday.

stoatie · 24/12/2011 16:57

Hopefully nothing. I work in hospital, currently on one ward which used to be two wards (imagine A and B), so has two drug trolleys and two huge sets of keys - each on a lanyard. the other week I had one set of keys (A), however drugs I needed were not in trolley my end so I went to other end, borrowed their set (B) and got required drugs. About half an hour later staff asked me if I had keys to B - ~"no" I said and proudly displayed bunch A in my pocket with lanyard hanging out. Are you sure I was asked as we can't find them anywhere. To prove I didn't have them I emptied my pockets, and there in my other pocket were set B Blush I was convinced I didn't have them.

Ask any nurse/midwife if they have ever gone home with "the keys" - for most the answer will be yes - I haven't yet!

Original poster
heartofthesun · 24/12/2011 17:31

Oh for heaven's sake! I mean 'sinister' as in something to worry about. Isn't that bleeding obvious.

OP posts: