AIBU about baby's sleeping position?

[CinnabarRed]

Discovered by accident that DS3, who's three months old, can settle himself to sleep from awake - but only if he's lying on his side - basically in the same position he feeds in. He also has a strong preference for lying on his right side rather than his left.

I found this out because he's just getting over a nasty cold and he really struggled to sleep on his back, even when the head of his cot was elevated on books and we had a pillow under his mattress. I propped him on his side against a rolled up towel, with a smaller towel against his tummy so he couldn't roll onto his front.

He's on the mend now, but is now refusing to sleep on his back. When on his side he sleeps through (by which I mean he wakes to feed a couple of times per night but otherwise sleeps).

Would IBU to keep lying him on his side? I figure that in a couple of months he'll be rolling and capable of holding himself in his preferred position without towels, so what's the harm in keeping going. But am I missing any obvious flaw in my plan?

I've read on (American) websites that as long as he's not on his front or at risk of smothering (on a towel, which he isn't, because the towel in front of him only goes up to his tummy) then he's not at increased SIDS risk.

I was advised this sleeping position for ds2 who had colic so I think it's fine.

Lying on their side is ok though, AFAIK. Both my DSs went to sleep on their sides, they much preferred it.
With both of them I put them to sleep on their sides in the hospital too, and the midwives said it was fine.
However, they were big, albs 7oz, and 10lbs 11oz, and I think this made a difference, as they were able to shuffle about onto their sides anyway within a few weeks!

All three of mine preferred their sides and I had no problems. I have to admit I didn't use anything to keep them there.

Sadly, the fact is that the guidelines say they should sleep on their backs until they are able to roll. While their sides is the safer option compared to their fronts, its still not what the powers that be consider safe. So you have to make your own decision. OTH DS slept on his tummy from about 8 weeks. Part of me felt really selfish for putting my need for a good night sleep (he slept through as soon as we turned him onto his front), ahead of safety.

My DS is 5 months old and he's slept on his side since he was old enough to get one leg over the other! He's been rolling over for two months now and if I put him on his back to sleep he'll just roll onto his side and then drift off. Drives me mad, but I'm the same so I think he's taking after me.

Can he lift his head up easily? I always felt if that if they were strong enough to do that then they were pretty safe. Not if they have a cold though, I'd be wary about that. However, if you are in the room with them you can hear/sense when their breathing changes. As soon as mine could roll onto their fronts they slept longer than two hours. I still put them down on their backs though.

My DS would only sleep on his front.

I tried putting him on his back and he would just lie there for hours and hours screaming if I'd let him. I was advised to leave him but after 30 minutes of screaming I thought I'd follow my own instincts.

Asleep on his front within minutes.

I knew it was a risk but even babies are individuals with their own preferences and his was to sleep on his front.

I knew the risks but whilst sleeping position changes the percentage risk, a baby sleeping on it's front isn't guaranteed to die of SIDS any more than a child sleeping on their back is guaranteed not to.

There were no other risk factors.

Agree with elinor, all three of mine slept on their tummy just as I did up until 5 months pg!! They were all strong at holding their heads up from birth & there were no other risk factors (overheating, smoking etc).

Ultimately you have to do what you feel best for your baby & mine just wouldn't sleep for extended periods of time in any other position.

My deicsion came when my exh had dd1 downstairs to allow me some sleep, & I came down thinking she must need a feed to find him asleep on the sofa & her snuggled on his chest face down.

If you are worried get a monitor with a sensor pad so you will know that he is ok at al times.

YANBU. Like you say sleeping on back is about reducing risk. It is similar to the no pillow advice. My DD had flat head and so I used a baby pillow from very early. In other EU countries they use a pillow from birth. The advice varies and again it's about reducing risk, unfortunatley nothing will guarantee SIDS won't happen. My friend slept all 7 of her DC on their front. The advice changed during her child rearing years but she chose not to change the sleep position as no other factors were there.

The only way DD would sleep was on her side or on my tummy, on her back she would just scream. So she slept on her side (was still a bad sleeper though) once she could roll she slept on her tummy and started sleeing better to.

With DS he slept on his tummy from about 6week's. It is only one of the risk factors and as we didn't have any other risk factors and he slept in the same room as us for all his sleep including naps. I decided to just go with it.

Both mine had very good head controll from really early on.

If I remmeber correctly one of the reasion why tummy sleeping is a risk is that they do sleep more soundly therefore don't rouse so easily. Side sleeing in more to do with the possiblity that they may roll onto there tummy's so isn't so much of an issue if you prop them well.

Thanks for all the replies. I do understand that side-sleeping is contrary to UK advice, which is why I mentioned that US sites seem more relaxed about it.

DS3 has a strong neck and good head control for his age. He's also a big baby, and can roll from his front to his back (and could from 6 weeks - hates tummy time) but not from his back to his front.

We're not smokers and DS3 is breastfed. However, he's in his own room because he's too big for a Moses basket and his cot won't fit in our room.

DD1 slept on her side from birth. I knew the SIDS advice but we had no other contributiry factors going on and she was/is fine. I made sure she was in the recovery position, or as near as possible so she couldn't roll on to her tummy. Be careful about propping him up with blankets as they may overheat him.
Some babies do prefer different sleeping positions and if that is the onlyh way he sleeps what should you do?
My other dc's didn't side sleep but dd2 once she could move herself around would sleep on her knees with her face squished into the mattress. If we moved her she would wake up.
You might find as well that he goes back to his back as he gets a bit bigger

I'll try the recovery position. I didn't think of it because of him being in a sleeping bag. Thanks for the tip.

DSs 1 and 2 were always perfectly happy on their backs. It's a good reminder that they're all different, even though all three look so similar I can't always tell them apart in photos if they're not dated!

YANBU. You are following your mummy instinct. DD1 refused to sleep on her back too and I placed her on her tummy but we co slept so I was very aware of her breathing and movements. At the moment DD2 who is 5 weeks has a cold and she's alot more comfortable on her side or tummy so that's how I'm laying her but again we are co sleeping.

I was told by a midwife (and have seen this backed up many times) that side sleeping is only a risk because it is very easy for them to roll onto their fronts, which is the first risk, the second risk is parents trying to avoid this by propping the baby up with unsafe items such as pillows, or rolled blankets. I think a towel would probably be okay but I'd try to secure it with a couple of elastic bands or hairbands. Although they could be a choking risk if they pinged off...

I think as long as you're careful it's most likely fine. DS used to sleep on his side using my boob as a pillow :)

I was advised with my eldest (almost 20yrs) to sleep him on his side with rolled up blankets either side of him.

I was advised with my next one (12.6yrs) to sleep him on this back with his feet touching the bottom of the moses basket.

I wasn't advised at all with my youngest (9yrs old) and by the time he was 3 months old, he never woke in the same position we'd put him to sleep in anyway.

Mine has always laid on his side from newborn. I think it started because we co-sleep and I fed him that way.

DS slept on his front from about 3 weeks. It wasn't ideal but he had silent reflux and would throw up and choke on it if put on his back. We had a sensor monitor so we knew he was breathing. That's what worked for us, I know it's against the guidelines but that's what they are, guidelines; and he was worse off on his back.
With DC3 I'm not going to stress about how he wants to sleep, whichever way works for him!

I personally believe that babies naturally prefer to sleep on their fronts and many of the sleep problems that occur now are because we put them on their backs.

But you can't argue with the cot death stats!

Chuita my mum was told to put me and dsis on our fronts in case we were sick, we are late 30's now and when I had DD1(15) and told her the guidelines were on back and foot to foot she would panic incase they were sick