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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a little annoyed and exchange?

26 replies

cherryjellybelly · 24/12/2011 06:07

I know its only trivial but DD got given loads of second hand and gift clothes when she was born up to 6 months, like more than we could have ever wished for, and we are so grateful. DD is only 3 months old but is pretty big for her age and will be out of 3 - 6 clothes in a month or so.
MIL said she wanted to buy an item of clothing for christmas and I asked that she gave something above 6 months as we had literally nothing and up to 6 months she has tones. She seemed fine with that.
We had a christmas do at their house last night and we opened presents and there were two outfits, both 3-6months. I said she would barely get to wear them and she just said that she wanted her to have something to wear for christmas that she had chosen (fair enough) but why get two? She knows we are really struggling for money and it would have really helped to have one less piece of clothing to buy.

She also gave DD a toy which I have had numerous conversations about how I hate (perfectly normal toy but if when DD is older and wanted one I would have got her one but I wasnt going to encourage it) This toy was labeled 2 years plus.... why would she get her this??!
Also got her the biggest glass and stone snow globe I have ever seen, that is even heavy for me. ( not really suitable for a 3 month old?) I'll just have to keep it somewhere high like the attic :D
both of these looked really expensive...Shes gone against a few of my SIL's wishes with children before and caused upset. I just dont want her to start doing it with me.
am I being unreasonable to take one of the outfits and exchange for a bigger size? or is that rude? (she will be annoyed if she knew and will expect her to see her in it :S ) and am I being unreasonable to be slightly annoyed that she gave unsuitable presents?
Xmas Smile

OP posts:
babloogirl · 24/12/2011 06:14

I don't think yabu,

Could you tell her that When dd tried it on it was too small for her and get the next size up?

When dd was born we had to exchange quite a few presents as otherwise she would have ended up with 6 coats for this winter

hanaka88 · 24/12/2011 06:17

Think so. I don't have much money either and I would be grateful for anything I got. The snowglobe sounds like a lovely keep sake from her first Christmas.

The only thing I might be annoyed about is the toy if you have specifically said you didn't want her to have it.

The clothes... Well she may not be in them long but at least she has got her some. I don't see an issue with taking one of the outfits back and exchanging it but maybe she got 2 because she wants her in them Christmas day and knows babies that young will more than likely need changing during the day due to sick/ stray wee/poo.

Sirzy · 24/12/2011 06:23

I would take the clothes back and exchange

The toys - well some people seem to like buying presents they know are going to annoy parents. My uncle got Ds a lovely guitar for his second birthday knowing it would drive me mad!

Snowglobes I think are a sweet present for a first Christmas!

Original poster
cherryjellybelly · 24/12/2011 06:30

I saw my niece smash a snow globe one accidentally last week and got glass on her hands :s we spent nearly an hour trying to clear the glass, I think thats why I'm frustrated at that one.
She wont be seeing her over christmas now, I think its partly so my parents see her in outfits that MIL have bought, she wants to be seen to be the active grandparent, and doesnt understand why my parents havent given DD much and has commented on it before ( they just dont have much money :( )
Hanaka you are right I should be more grateful and I am that she is so giving. I think I'm just tired :)

OP posts:
sweetsantababy · 24/12/2011 06:35

would exchange both outfits, not rude at all - its your MIL who is rude and selfish, she wants your DD to wear something she has choosed for xmas day. Shock

sweetsantababy · 24/12/2011 06:38

I'd exchange the toy too or if not possible put that in the attic. Snowglobe fine as a keepsake. Set a president now.

Gonzo33 · 24/12/2011 06:42

Another one voting for exchanging both outfits for the bigger size. I doubt she will notice the difference tbh.

The rest of it would just go over my head. If my dd had been given a snow globe it would have to be kept up high because she is very handy with things at the moment, and it would be liable to fall on her whilst she is trying to grab it.

jubilee10 · 24/12/2011 06:43

I would have said "Oh thanks, but we have her outfit for Christmas day" and change them both. if she won't be seeing her it won't matter.

Catslikehats · 24/12/2011 06:46

"rude and slefish" because she has chosen the OP's DD something to wear for Christmas day? Oh FFS!

cherry I think the snow globe sounds like a lovely keep sake to commemorate your DD's first Christmas and whilst I can understand your frustration at the clothes I think it would be U to exchange both outfits. Perhaps you could keep one for Christmas day and exchange the second for something bigger?

Did you mil know that you don't like the particular toy? If so then it is odd that she would buy it but a gift is always the choice of the giftor. If the issue is just the age then I think your MIL has acted reasonably - there really isn't that much you can buy for a 3mth old.

Ultimately gifts are just that and whilst it is lovely to receive what you really want it is unpleasant to dictate.

Purplehonesty · 24/12/2011 06:57

Exchange them both for a bigger size. Nothing more annoying than lovely clothes that fit for 5 minutes.
And try to chill about the rest of the stuff and enjoy a lovely Christmas with your little family Smile

Original poster
cherryjellybelly · 24/12/2011 07:05

TheQueenOfDenial she did know I didnt like it, its something shes commented on a few times,

Thanks purple I will chill and enjoy :)

OP posts:
Original poster
cherryjellybelly · 24/12/2011 07:09

and you are all right the snowglobe is a nice keepsake and quite thoughtful. I was just thinking about glass, not how nice it is :)

OP posts:
Fuzzywuzzywozabear · 24/12/2011 07:14

I'd go with change both outfits - otherwise she won't get any wear out of them

Wallace · 24/12/2011 07:18

Take a photo with one of the outfits on before you exchange the for a bigger size so you can show MIL and say it was Christmas Day!

Sirzy · 24/12/2011 07:20

the glass isn't an issue though really. You don't have to give it to her to play with just put it on a shelf out of her reach.

I got DS a snowglobe for his first christmas and it comes out with the decs each year.

Catslikehats · 24/12/2011 07:24

Well in that case I can see why you are irritated it but let it wash over you. It's not worth it.

Over the years your DD will be bought numerous gifts that you dislike/aren't appropriate/are duplicates et etc. all you can really do is smile, say thank you and exchange where they will never know and you run no risk of offending, otherwise you risk looking selfish and grasping which is never good, no matter how absurd the gift.

itsstartingtofeelalotlikexmas · 24/12/2011 07:28

Sorry but loving 'set a president now' ha ha

breatheslowly · 24/12/2011 07:42

I'd exchange both and put you DD in a slightly larger outfit on Christmas Day. Just roll the sleeves up.

leeloo1 · 24/12/2011 10:25

I want to know what the toy was now. Grin

Definitely exchange bothe outfits - its pointless having things your DD will grow out of straight away when you need bigger things. If possible I'd try and get credit then you can wait and see what DD needs later in the year (so you can get something seasonal). :)

ILoveSanta · 24/12/2011 10:56

I love the idea of a snow globe, and as the others have said, you don't need to give it to her to play with. I have ornaments that I was bought as a baby which I now have in my own house, and I love the idea of the thought behind them because I am really quite sentimental in my old age

In terms of the outfits, YANBU to exchange them both. She won't even notice anyway, as you say she is not seeing you again over Christmas, and when my DS was small, quite a few people bought me outfits that were too small for him as he was quite a long baby, and I had no qualms with exchanging them. In my view, it is the thought that they chose this outfit that matters and if you get the same one in a more appropriate size given she is about to outgrow it, and sod your MIL choosing what she wears tomorrow a size that will last her longer, then who would complain about that? We should all be more mindful not to create unnecessary waste, after all!

The toy, I would have gone mad. It is downright bloody rude and disrespectful unreasonable of your MIL to go against your express wishes. Anyway, since she is clearly to small for it, I would put it away somewhere until she is old enough for it. If your MIL asks, just tell her you are keeping it for when your DD is old enough to appreciate it as you wouldn't want her to ruin it now, and it clearly says it is for age two plus!

andaPontyinaPearTreeeeee · 24/12/2011 11:00

What was the toy? :)

(I think YANBU about the clothes though, you clearly said 6-9m and even if they were a little big right now she could still wear them on Xmas day!)

GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy · 24/12/2011 11:00

Exchange definitely. I did this with loads of clothes we were bought for dd, exchanged for the same thing but 6 months older (if seasonally appropriate). Such a waste otherwise.

unreasonablemuch · 24/12/2011 11:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoMeDon · 24/12/2011 11:07

YABU - they are gifts. You have no right to tell people what to buy. Be grateful and exchange quietly.

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 24/12/2011 16:13

I would exchange the outfits for the next size up. And just put the toy away; it's not as if your DD is at an age where she is going to ask to play with it. And put the snow globe on a high shelf ;-)